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Pregnant w/ quintuplets after IUI & need advice!!!
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AshleyGaffney posted:
Hi Ladies,

I am new to the boards! I'm 26, and I am almost 9 weeks pregnant with quintuplets after my second round of IUI. I have a 2 year old daughter who was conceived naturally. I am obviously faced with the most horrible situation, and need advice! If I thought I could, I would obviously keep all 5 babies, but from everything that I have read, and discussed with my doctor, the risks are just too high that something will go wrong, and that I will lose some babies, if not all of them, or that something will happen to me. I am so torn because I am already a high risk pregnancy due to a previous health condition that I am on medication for, and I am currently not experiencing symptoms or side effects from, however that can obviously change with this risky of a pregnancy. I am also scared of something happening to me, and not benig able to take care of my daughter. And then there is of course that concern of the babies not being healthy, and not making it through the entire pregnancy, dying shortly there after due to being so early, or having them have long term health problems. I have worked in Special Education previously, and I would never want to put my child through that!

Then of course, I am faced with all of the ethical decisions as a Christian. How do I reduce any baby, let alone a healthy baby? How will I ever forgive myself? How will God ever forgive me? I feel huge guilt for even considering a reduction, but with all of the health risks, that seems to be where my husband & I are heading. I am pro-choice, specifically if there were medical reasons, or other issues for the woman, but I had always had the idea that I myself would never do it. But I myself also never thought I would be pregnant with quints. I have been told from the start that it is too dangerous to carry all of these babies, and I am putting myself in real danger. Myself, as well as my doctor never imagined this, or saw this coming. My HCG numbers were totally normal, and I never had any of the signs of any sort of multiple pregnancy. My doctor also said that this rarely happens from IVF, let alone IUI, and that if he thought there was any risk that he would've cancelled my cycle. If I thought that there was a chance of any higher than 3, I would've never done the IUI. This is just something that we never imagined happening in our wildest dreams! Our doctor told us that reducing to twins gives us an over 90% chance of taking 2 healthy babies home. I am just so torn, and don't know what to do! I know that no one can give me answers, but I am just looking for support, as we have not shared any of the news with our families, as they can be very judgemental, and we feel as if that would only make our situation worse! Just looking to get some support, and make some new friends who might understand what I'm going through!
Reply
 
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jamiejo78 responded:
Lurking from PAL board:

Wow! That would be a total and absolute shock! I cannot fathom the position you must be in and what you are feeling at this moment. Being a Christian, I always believe that God never gives you more than you can handle. Now, I know this seems like a lot. I thought so two when I was pregnant with momo twins. But, I fought and fought until God decided they were just two sick and took them home.

I think you need to do what you feel is the absoulte best for you. Definitly pray about it. Get all the statistics and information you can. See a specialist. Try not to make any rush decisions. I mean, look at the two women who carried 6 and 8 babies. I know it doesn't always work out, but sometimes it does.

I wish I had advice to offer you. Like I said, I cannot imagine the position you are in. But, I believe in giving it to God and asking for his direction. Definitly make sure that whatever your decision is, that is is what you and your DH want, not what the doctors or anyone else wants. This is your journey and you have to take it where YOU want to take it. All I can offer you is prayer and support. I hope that things work out for you in the best way possible.
 
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MNMommy3 responded:
Oh hun I cannot imagine what you must being going through! This is supposed to be a joyous time and here you are faced with having to make a really difficult decision. As the PP stated, make sure you pray about this, and God will NOT give you more than you can handle. He has a plan in this. If you have a home church, or any church you feel comfortable with, go and talk with the pastor. I had to go talk to one of my pastors when I found out I was pregnant this time around and I felt such a huge relief and an abundant amount of peace after praying with her. Our faith is what gets us through these difficult times and right now God wants you to rely on Him and turn to Him during this time.

Definitely do your research and find out the statistics, but most importantly, get on your knees and pray! I wish the best for you! God Bless.
~ Kelly (31), DS (11-1/2), DS (5), EDD 01/09/11
 
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SunConure responded:
I can only imigine the position your in right now and how hard this must be for you! I will be totally honest here and tell you as hard as it would be I would reduce. My thoughts would be on my husband and child what would happen to them if something happened to me during the pregnancy? I know it's not something anyone wants to think about, but you are in that situation now and you don't have any choice but to think about. The choice may not be as hard for me, because I'm not religious so I can't relate to those feelings. There are women who carry 5, 6, 7 babies and things turn out ok in the end, but you have to honestly think about how many cases do we not hear about that don't end well. I wish you all the best in your decision and no matter what you choose I feel you will not be judged, certainly not by me. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
 
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eliguns841984 responded:
I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this may be, but you really are a blessed family! I know it must be tough, and nobody in their right mind wouldn't have at least a fleeting moment of concern. It is only human for you to question whether to go through with this. However, as a Christian I cannot say that I feel reduction is a good option. I would never judge someone else for their decision and only YOU can work this out with God, but I cannot in good conscience recommend that you go through with a reduction. God specifically created each one of those children for you and he will call them home if their battle becomes too difficult. Please pray about this, and please keep us updated here. I am not trying to seem pushy, I'm just giving my honest opinion as a fellow Christian. When you undergo infertility treatments, you must be aware of this possibility beforehand. Regardless of what you decide, I hope you'll continue to come here as well as going to God for support and guidance. Remember, they told Kate Gosselin she was crazy for not reducing too, and she had SIX healthy children!
 
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dino44 responded:
I am so sorry you are having to make such a difficult decision. I don't have any advice other than you know what is best for you and your family. What ever decision you make, please feel free to lean on us for support. That is what we are here for. It's nobody's place to judge you, so please don't even let what other people may think convince you one way or another. This is a choice only you and your husband can make. Hugs to you.
Me: Tabatha (28), DH: Paul (29), Angel Baby @ 13 weeks, PAL graduate!!!: Emma 4/3/09, PAL 2: BFP 4/24 keeping our fingers crossed for another Graduate. EDD 12/31/10! Saw hb on 5/17! YELLOW TEAM!
 
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AbbeyCalvinMosesBoom responded:
***LURKING FROM SECOND TRI***

Right now I see you are scared and you should be - it is natural - I am carrying twins and am scared. However, you are so blessed with this opportunity to have these babies. Also, my fertility doctor (whom I loved) gave us some serious horror stories as well, and told us to prepare for possibly be on bed rest and that they may take the babies at 26 weeks and so on...this scared us - but we kept going, I am plus sized and 35 years old - so that totally puts me in the high risk category - so we had to go through and discuss all of these horrifying details. Now I am 25 weeks with none of the complications they talked about, they even mentioned reducing and so on and so forth. (yes I do realize that twins is different from quints, but the risks are still there)

You have a lot going for you - you are young, healthy, have faith that God gave you this blessing for a reason. There is no place for me to tell you what I would do or anything like that (although I think you can tell), but just PRAY for the right decision - discuss if they are all healthy right now - are there strong heart beats? At nine weeks I am sure you saw all those little blips on the screen and must feel some attachment (I did at 6 weeks) so of course this decision is even harder.

Do you have a high risk doctor to speak to? A parish member? etc. anyone who could help you. Many women have had healthy quints before - there is a family right here where I live - and the article told us all the same information you mentioned, Dr's have to go over everything with you, but that does not mean it is what is going to happen to you!!! You are so close to the end of the first tri...really think and pray hard about your decision.

Best of luck,
Toni

PS - You made a good choice in posting these concerns, you are going to get many people who will be here for you.
 
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jadedstar replied to AbbeyCalvinMosesBoom's response:
I am praying for you and hope you truly take the time and think this thru. I agree with PP it is your decision to make you have to decide whats best for you but being a firm believer in Christ i could never reduce thats my choice and i am not in your shoes right now and unless someone is actually in your shows, no one can truly say what they would do we can only say what we would think we would do. But am praying for you and wishing you the Best GOD BLESS and Please take care and keep us posted and know that we all are hear for you. HHB and HH9
~JadedStar~ DD(6) NEW EDD Jan 20,2011
 
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ssb2007 replied to AbbeyCalvinMosesBoom's response:
Oh my goodness, I can't imagine what you must be going through. As a Christian it would be hard to reduce the number of babies. However, experiencing some high risk complications when I was pregnant with my daughter, I can see where you are afraid. You do want to continue to be there for you hubby and your daughter. Like some others have reccomended seek counsel from a pastor. Maybe even see a counselor for this one, a psychologist would help you talk things through and make some sense out of things. I agree that God doesn't put on us more than we can handle, but you're still trampling down some scary territory. I will say, I have been through things and my family has been through things were we could NOT see how things could possibly work out, however they ALWAYS have. So while you don't see how things can work out, God is in control and will work it out.

Whatever you decide I'm sure nobody on here will judge you and only support you. Please keep us updated with what you decide to do.
Sherry; DH-Simon; DD-1yr; Angel Baby 2/2010; 2 EDD 2-2-2010
 
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An_217567 responded:
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this decision. It is such a big decision & it's so hard to know what is right.

You have gotten so much great advice, but I want to add something. A lot of people have mentioned that God would not give you more than you can handle. But something to keep in mind is that you are still making decisions, and reduction is an option. Maybe that's the path that God has intended for you. I don't want to sway you an any direction, I just wanted to share my beliefs as related to God's will. Perhaps you making the decision is part of God's plan. Sometimes he has you do things for reasons that you cannot understand.

I wish you the best of luck in your decision and hope you have a healthy pregnancy.
 
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MRSKuhns responded:
This may help.. it can be done if you want to try for all five. But WOW i can't imagine that it sounds scary.

http://www.alegent.com/body.cfm?id=5465&action=detail&parent=1467&ref=9


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