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palvarad posted:
So I finally got around to telling my mother and her initial reaction was "You didn't take care of yourself!" which totally deflated me. I've been pretty low but I don't want to tell the husband because I'm sure he's going through his own thing, besides I don't think he'll fully understand. I mean, I'm happy about this blessing, but my parents are my son's caregivers, and they're getting too old to be able to even deal with my son let alone another baby. We spoke about how it's a strong possibility that I have to quit working to raise my children, but if I do that I don't know how we're going to afford anything at all. I'm also pretty stubborn, and I like being able to support myself financially. My mom told my siblings and the reaction was this overwhelming sense of dismay and disappointment. As if suddenly I'm a 14 yr old who got knocked up and not a grown woman with a FT job and a husband. As if I let everyone down. I'm already sad about this as it is, and it doesn't help with these little judgments heading my way.
I'm so tired, I'm down and the glow and happiness I felt in my first pregnancy is not there. I don't want people cartwheeling because I'm pregnant, but, I don't know, I guess I just have to push past the looks and comments I know I'm gonna get.

I just hate that I have to deal with it at all.
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sdadkin responded:
I am so sorry that your family is treating you this way. A baby is a blessing!!! My first son is 20 months old right now and I am 34 weeks pregnant with my second son. My family was a little shocked at first because they're going to be so close in age, but now everyone is excited for us. I am sure that in a short while that your family will get excited too. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and God wouldn't give you more than you can handle. Everything will work out in the end. Don't let everyone get to you. You don't have to be sad. You are going to have another bundle of joy to fall in love with! Congratulations!!!!
Me (25) SO (25) DS (7/22/09) EDD (5/10/11)
 
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Afshan007 replied to sdadkin's response:
Oh honey I'm so sorry, but give it time for everyone to digest the situation. I think you should give your mother a minute to come to terms with it as well as maybe realize that what she said was not the way to aproach the conversation.
I do hope you realize that yes this is a blessing and not a curse and sometimes it takes a little more time for people to get that in. Until then you can come here and vent anytime and know that you have sincere women who would only want the best for you and your new addition. I wish you well, and hope life gets a little less stressful.
 
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palvarad replied to Afshan007's response:
thank you for your replies. it really means a lot to read encouraging words. My mom eventually came around and said congrats but her initial reaction really let me down. Maybe it's my hormones, but I just felt so disappointed. I didn't want a parade, but still.
 
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mystical_skyy replied to palvarad's response:
I'm so sorry to hear something familiar. I was 23 when i found out i was pregnant with my first son. my mother and step father pretty much disowned me at first. once they had some time to let it sink in, they came around. and once Drake (my son) was born, they couldnt get enough of him. they now have 4 grandchildren (my son and my brothers 3 kids) but Drake is still their "favorite" as horrible as that sounds. i have fought with them for 6 yrs. i still cant understand how they can treat their grandchildren differently. my second pregnancy was in dec. i had an early m/c but told my mom before i m/c. she hung up on me and whats sad is that I am married and she still acts this way. needless to say i havent told her about my preg this time yet. i guess relatives just get shocked when anything unplanned happens to thier loved ones. anyways, i just want you to know your not alone. and i'm soooo happy that your mom came around. i hope it didnt take her to long. H&H nine months to you!
 
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palvarad replied to mystical_skyy's response:
Ugh, why do parents act this way? I was just talking to a friend and commenting on how I've done everything they wanted me to do in my life and somehow I manage to disappoint. I'm married, I finished college, I have a FT job and support myself and somehow the idea of me having another child ruined her day. Yeah, she said congrats, but she's totally not happy about this. I can hear it when she talks to me, or when she even looks at me. I'm already down about money stuff and her judgment just adds to the stress.

I'm sorry that you can commiserate! I hope your nine months are beautiful, happy and only full of joy!!
 
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mystical_skyy replied to palvarad's response:
I know how upsetting this can be. my only suggestion is if your not getting the support and happiness from her, look to your husband and friends. she'll come around at some point and i hope that its really soon.
 
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palvarad replied to mystical_skyy's response:
thank you, you and all the parents here have been absolutely wonderful when I've needed it.

I hope you receive the same amount of love and support I've had from here over the years. And I hope your pregnancy goes off without any problems.
 
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mystical_skyy replied to palvarad's response:
thank you and i hope the same for you.


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