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    First Appointment Questions!!!
    Cowgirl6598 posted:
    So my first appointment is at 8 or 10 weeks (depends on where I decide to go). Is that an appointment my husband wouldn't want to miss?

    So here is my dilemma... With where my husband works, he cannot take any time off work during June. He will be working 12 hour shifts, 6 days a week. (off Sunday). I called my midwife I go to for all annual wellness appointments, and she can get me in at 8 weeks (May 31st). However, I do not plan on having my baby at that hospital. It is an hour and a half away from where I live and I don't want to have to travel that far in January when I am due on snowy roads. The hospital I plan on having my baby (actually have never seen that doctor before) 20 minutes from my house, cannot see me until June 11 (10 weeks). I don't think there is any way my husband can get time off work to go. And I'd really like him to come with me. What do I do? Go to my regular midwife so he can go even though I won't have my baby there? Or go without him to the doctor I plan on having my baby with?

    Sorry I am rambling. This is my first baby and I am a bit overwhelmed and don't know what to expect. In the get go, I did consider going to my regular midwife until after 13 weeks, because the other doctor is in my husband's small hometown, his sister is an RN there. And I didn't want everyone to know I was pregnant right away (cuz we are not telling our parents/anyone til after 13 weeks). No secrets in a small town. Everyone knows everyone.

    Am I crazy?
    ChristinaTT responded:
    (lurking from 2nd )
    Congratulations on your first baby! All those first appointments are exciting, but my personal opinion is that your husband could miss them and you would still be just fine with it. Unless your midwife or the doctor closer to you does an ultrasound at that first appointment, it's not really likely that you will get to see the baby or hear a heartbeat until closer to 12 weeks. So you might want to see your midwife sooner (by yourself) and then get an appointment with the doctor closer to you when you're 12 weeks or past when your husband can come with you. You'll probably be able to hear a heartbeat and I would imagine your husband would appreciate the chance to meet the doctor who will (likely) deliver your baby! If it's just not going to work for him to go with you, maybe take a good friend or one of your moms. My husband hasn't been huge on going to my appointments (although he's always there for the birth, of course!), and it's been fun taking moms / sisters / friends with me to appointments. For my last ultrasound, I took my grandma! She thought it was great, she had 7 children and had never had or seen an ultrasound.
    Anyway, hope this helps a little bit. Best wishes!
    Me (30) DH (29) DD (7) DD (5) DD (2). EDD 4! 11/4. Yellow!
    orin34 responded:
    It is the norm to not be seen until you are about ten weeks. I was able to go in sooner because they wanted to check the baby (I was on medication that was new so they just wanted to check things out) but I still didn't get in until I was 8 weeks.
    As far as your timing dilemma..... In my experience the dad doesn't relate until you start showing/are able to actually see something in there. My husband was alarmed when the dr had a jar of what appeared to be condoms on the counter..... and then the dr pulled out this "probe" and put the "condom" on it (vaginal ultrasound). He found it incredibly awkward. The ultrasound that took place on the belly was when he started to get excited. . . and of course it was much more comfortable for him.
    I personally would go with the dr who was going to be delivering the baby . . . . you will have to weigh your decision on whether you want your whole family to know. TECHNICALLY it would be unethical and against regulations for her to say ANYTHING about your condition to anyone (law suits have been filed for less ) . But realistically it is unlikely that the secret would be kept. Could you talk to her when you go in and ask her to zip it?

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