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Others in Delivery room?
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kfitz posted:
So with my first DD it was just DH and I in the room and it worked out great. DH was very supportive and I think it was great to see how nervous he was. And see his face as he experienced the birth.
Well my brother invited my mom in the room last week when his DD was born. (He really didn't want her there, but his fiancee insisted her mother be in the room so he thought by telling her he wanted his mom too she would cave in and let it just be the two of them, but she didn't. And my mom doesn't know that part.) Now my mom wants to be there fo rthe delivery of this baby. I just feel like this is a private moment to be between the two parents and its also very personal. I won't let my mom be there, but I thought I would ask what everyone else is doing.
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Maggiemae2009 responded:
It's going to be me and my dh. It's a special moment I want to have with just him....Now, afterwards....after I'm in a room and comfy...I don't care who comes visit.
 
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SunConure responded:
There is nothing wrong with wanting it to be just the two of you. I am a little different in that I would love my mom to be there with us so I will give her the option. The reason I would allow her in is we are very very close and I just can't imigine not sharing this special moment in our lives with her since she is such a big part of it! This is definitly a personal matter though and I don't think one way over another is right or wrong, everyone will feel differently!
 
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kfitz replied to Maggiemae2009's response:
With DD we probably had 15 visitors come after we had called and told everyone which I don't mind at all. It was nice to see everyone celebrating the birth and they were so happy for us!
 
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kfitz replied to SunConure's response:
So how does your DH feel about your mom being there? Do you think he may feel like a third wheel? That was my concern with DH. He doesn't like my mom anyway so I didn't want him to feel any less important.
 
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peachyisthelife responded:
We like it just me and DH. My sister had my mom with all 3 of her kids. It was hard to tell mom for my first child but she understood and was ok. DH and I really like the intimacy of just me, him, and baby.
 
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MarissasMommy replied to peachyisthelife's response:
I think it's SUCH a personal decision! If you want it to just be the two of you - it's YOUR vagina on display...so YOU should be the one who makes that decision! Personally, I'm really close to my Mama and she's been there for both my girls' births and I plan for her to be at Parker's birth as well. But you need to very calmly state your feelings to DH. And if the two of you need to sit down with your moms and tell them together about the decision, then do it that way. But surely they will understand your desire for privacy! And if not, ask them if they want you to come along on their next PapSmear appointment!
 
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kfitz replied to MarissasMommy's response:
That is hilarious. DH and I had a conversation about the filming of the birth and I asked him if I could film his colonoscopy.
 
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ashleyjane87 replied to kfitz's response:
Haha oh gosh, ewww. Well, I had DH and both my parents in the room with my first. (I made my dad stay up by my head the WHOLE time lol) then next time, it was DH, my mom and my sister-in-law who I was very close to at the time. Plus she was nervous about having kids and wanted to see the whole birth process up close. With this one tho, my DH and I want it to be private, just the 2 of us in there. When we told my mom, she was obviously bummed out, but she totally understood. Besides, she had gotten to be there for the other 2 and she has 2 more daughters who I'm sure will include her in at least one of their births :)
 
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RoxyRaven responded:
The hospital Im going to allows up to 2 people in the room not including the significant other so I thought about having my DH (of course), my mom (whom I've always been close to), and my aunt (who's also my Doula). My DH doesnt care who's in the room, at one point he was afraid to be in the room himself; it took him a while to realize he doesn't have to actually watch the baby come out just be there to hold my hand lol. I definitely see it as a personal decision too, I just want my mom to be there for her first grandson's birth. (Plus I'm her only child)
 
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yamma20 responded:
My DH doesn't want to be in the room. He is ok with the labor part but when it comes to the delivery he has repeatedly stated he wants to be in the hall waiting with my dad. I'm not thrilled as I would prefer it being just the two of us, but since I'll respect his wishes I plan on having my mom and maybe my bestest friend in the room.

I love my mom and we are extremely close but we have a history of her getting on my nerves in stressful situations. That's where I plan on having my pal Barbie step in. Of course these are just plans right now, who knows what will happen when it's really time:)
 
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PGinSJ replied to ashleyjane87's response:
Totally up to you for sure and I don't think it's at all unusual to want just the two of you. I'd guess that's the norm. I'll probably be having a ton of people in the room with me though LOL. DH, my Mom, a doula and my MIL. But my Mom is an RN, has had five kids, this is her first grandbaby, I am her ONLY girl, and I am EXTREMELY close to her. My MIL begged to be there (before we were even married) even if it means standing at a place where she can't see at the periphery of the room (which I will likely take her up on because I don't want her to change the dynamic, kwim?). She has no daughters so I feel for her and we get along good. My SIL wouldn't let my MIL in the room when she just had a baby in Jan.

At first I didn't want my MIL in there but after we had such a difficult time TTC (2 m/cs and 15 mos trying with ART) I think it's such a miracle that I wanna share it with everyone I love that wants to be there. I am guessing that in the throws of labor I won't feel self-conscious about being exposed to all of those people. Let's hope not LOL.
 
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Debaroonie replied to RoxyRaven's response:
I think it is a private thing myself. Although I did suggest my 16 yr old being in the room. I figured it could be good birth control.I dont think she wants to though.
 
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DaleCDean29 responded:
I told my BF that i was only going to be me and him in the room, simply cause I don't want his dad saying that I let my family in the room and not his.
 
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Lysana responded:
Nothing wrong with you wanting it to just be the two of you! XD

However, I had DH, Mom and MIL all in there, and it was great! But I get along with both of the moms, they get along with each other...we're all happy. LOL! If there were any tension, I would be uncomfortable - although even without tension, if that's what you want, then don't feel bad about it. One thing that helps with my mom and MIL is that they would never ASSUME they would be in the delivery room, nor would they pressure me to allow them. They both considered it an honor, not a right. If that makes sense.


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