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To move or not to move?
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nolefanlisa posted:
Aloha All -
I currently live in Maui with my husband and we are 14 weeks pregnant with our first baby. We moved here 1.5 yrs ago after wishing and hoping to live in Hawaii since I was 18, which was 11 years ago.

My question is: I may be able to transfer with my job back to the mainland to live in Denver, CO, which is where my mother, brother, and sister in law live. We all get along well. I am wondering if we should move back? There are pros and cons of both places.

Any thoughts?

Mahalo - Lisa :-)
Lisa from Maui
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roni090909 responded:
My first thought is leave Hawaii, what are you insane!! LOL But in reality it will be alot easier on your to have some family around. All my family is 3 states away and alot of times I wish they were closer. It would be really nice to get some help with DS sometimes and with the new baby coming it would be alot easier in the beginning if they were close. But it is also nice to have them not here, I don't have to deal with family drama.

I guess just make your list and figure out what you thing would be best for your family. What does your DH say about all this?
Me (30) DH (37) DS 10/20/08 New Baby Girl EDD 11/11
 
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nolefanlisa replied to roni090909's response:
My spouse is for it, he knows it will be helpful to be closer to my family, he gets along well with them. I make a mental pro and con list about staying and going and they seem about equal which makes this a struggle for me. Thank you for your response ;-)
Lisa from Maui
 
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belle9164 responded:
It is easier living close to family, but if you aren't it is very doable. My DH and I are moving in 12 days from CA to TX and we have no family at all outside of California. I know that it isn't going to be easy for us but since the job market sucks out here and we are getting no where it's time to move. My DH got a job and starts on the 12th of July so we are all ready. My family is sad to see us go and I am sad to leave but sometimes you need to what is right for you. If you are only moving because of family will you regret it and want to move back when you get a chance? Was Hawaii not quite what you thought it would be? What about Denver? Will it be that much better to live there? Really think about it and then be confident about your choice! GL
Alicia (24) DH (25) EDD 11-11-10 it's a BOY! Mommy to 3 dogs and a cat
 
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michelleloehr replied to belle9164's response:
I think it also depends on how independent you are. we live 1000 miles from "home" and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my family (and to a lesser degree his family) but I want to do things my way and I don't need anybody's unasked for advice (especially when it comes to raising my kid) so for us we would never move back (unless some sort of major diasaster were to happen or something but it would have to be big). I also can't deal with family drama I have not patience for it. Which works great with a long distance I just don't have to answer my phone if I think drama is calling. I also come from a long line of military families so that might skew my views a little.

I think you should really think about it hard because something tells me if you move back trying to move away again won't be quite so easy on your family.
Me, Michelle (26); DH, Matt (26); married 2004. TTC since early 2009, 1 m/c Jan 2010, one little girl due 11/9/10
 
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ttrishh responded:
I moved across the country 2 years ago when my son was one year old and now I am 37 weeks with my second. My husbands Parents and Sister are a few hours away from where we live now so we are not totally alone out here, but for the most part we are.

While I do find it lonely here some times, and I am a little nervous about dealing with a new born and a 3 year old I don't regret being out here. I moved from the prairies out to Nova Scotia where it is beautiful, I have the ocean all around, lakes everywhere and such a slower pace of life. I look at the lifestyle we live here and compare it to the Rat Race of the Alberta Oil Patch and I think it is worth it to go through a few years of having to raise children without much family help. I have found several stay at home moms who are wonderful with my son and I can always count on them when I need a babysitter or some sort of help.

My long winded point here is that I understand how you feel, and for us the decision was to stay where we are, but it is a personal decision and only you and your DH can way what is right for your family.


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