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depressed about gender :(
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mommie2be2wice posted:
ok so i just wanted a little advice.. not critisizim (sp??) So today we went to a 3d ultrasound and we found out we are having our 3rd girl. This will be our last child and i was really really hoping it was a boy, but it's not!! I feel really sad & depressed.. Is this a bad thing! Should i even be feeling this way? will the baby know how i felt??



New baby girl due 12/27/10
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lovemybabies responded:
I think its all right. Once you start getting things ready for the new addition, it will all come together. My brother has 4 girls and had a vasectomy so there's no turning back. I am pregnant with number 4 due on christmas eve and the little OCD I have will reflect when I find out the gender. I now have boy, girl, boy. Naturally, this one needs to be a girl to fit the pattern. LOL!!

But trust me. I dont think the baby will know and once she is born you will all be so happy!! It is a life that you created together and you will always have that!!
 
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truewyatt responded:
you should be happy you are pg; there are alot of people on here that would be happy to be in your place. boy or girl be happy.
Me 37, DH 39, DS 1 and EDD 11/25/10
 
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ShockedMama responded:
I think that it is okay for you to feel a little bummed out about the baby's gender. I think all of us hope for one gender or the other, especially if we already have two boys or two girls kinda thing. I also have three girls and I remember that I was also somewhat disappointed when I found out our third was another girl. Don't worry - you will get over it and come to be super excited about this baby as well. Just give yourself some time, you still have a long ways to go in your pregnancy and plenty of time to adjust to this new little one!
EDD 11/11/10 with baby 4. Mommy to three beautiful girls 8,5,2. We are on the BLUE team!! Yeah!
 
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matersmamma responded:
I don't think you should feel bad. I understand your disappointment, I was really hoping for a girl, I have 2 girls 12, and 10, and 3 boy's 7, 5, and 2, and I found out it's another boy! I was really hoping to even it out, but I understand that God has his reason's for it and it took me a couple of days and now I am ok with it, and I am excited, 4 wonderful boy's and 2 great girls. Life is good! Whatever God decides to give us he has his reason's and I know you are thankful for what you have and will be having. It will all be ok just give it a little time to sink in. Good luck to you and your family.

matersmamma
 
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ttrishh responded:
Don't feel bad for being sad about it. I am on my second (and LAST) child I already had a boy so I hoped for a girl and was sure that it was going to be. When the U/S showed another boy I actually cried. I was pretty upset about it for at least a month, but I did eventually get to a point that I am truly happy to be having another boy and now I couldn't picture it any other way.

The baby will have no idea that you felt like that, and you are entitled to feel exactly how you do, No one has any right to tell you how to feel. That includes people on this board who insist on be judgemental everytime a woman expresses some disapointment in the gender.
 
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michelleloehr replied to ttrishh's response:
For the record for anyone who is going to critize this poor lady about this with the "there are lots of women that would give anything to be pregnant" comment; I was one of those women last year. A coworker expressed her disappointment about the gender of her baby and all I could think is you selfish pig, we had been trying for a year and would have given anything to be pg.

Fast forward, i'm pg now 21 weeks and I kept telling people that I don't care about gender I just want a healthy baby. I shocked myself by being disappointed when the u/s tech annouced its a girl. I kept asking myself what is wrong with me, but it turns out there is nothing wrong with these feelings. Its just part of pregnancy for some women. Some women crave ice cream, some women cry uncontrolably at hallmark commericals, some of us have wacky horomones that affect us with gender disappointment. Unless you've suffered from this do NOT judge her because you simply don't know how it feels, she feels bad enough being disappointed she doesn't need your self righteous attitude to go with it.

That being said mommie2be2wice I think what your feeling is perfectly normal and give it a few days this too will pass and I'm sure in a few weeks you'll be excited and bouncing up and down with idea that you are going to have your quite full with three little girls. Until then don't beat yourself up, we can't really control our emotions right now and we are here for you.
Me, Michelle (26); DH, Matt (26); married 2004. TTC since early 2009, 1 m/c Jan 2010, one little girl due 11/9/10
 
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nsteve responded:
I have a friend who has 2 boys already, this is her last pregnancy and she just found out she's having another boy. She is totally depressed about it. She wanted a girl soooo bad!!! She cried when she found out several of our friends are having girls. If it turns out I'm having a girl I'll be hesitant to tell her. I know she'll get over it, but right now her emotions have the best of her. It happens. :-)
 
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Shauntrell responded:
Sweetie it's just pregnancy hormones, your baby doesn't know you feel that way. It will be okay in about a month and you'll be wondering why you felt that way in the first place. So try to have a great day and remember it's your hormones.
Jaque (31) Drew (28) 1st baby EDD 9/20 It's a GIRL! Go Pink Team
 
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mommy_a responded:
Aw you poor thing.
Hormones certainly doesn't help!!

Don't worry I assure you that once you get used to the news, you will be as happy as possible and wont even remember your disappointment! Baby won't even know because you will shower her with so much love.

If you feel this way continued, just try to think of all the wonderful times you had with your daughters and all the joys. Think of how close friends your daughters will be!

It will be great - we promise!
-- Me (32), First LO due Sept 21st, 2010. It's a BOY!!!
 
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Jacque72903 responded:
I agree with Michelleloher, don't judge on this one, there is no need for that. It took me 14 mo to get pregnant this time around and I had two people get pregnant that I saw everyday, and one of them was upset that she was preggo at all and the other one was upset she was having a girl and I remember thinking at the time that I would give anything just to be them. But now I am almost 21 weeks and I just found out I am having a girl. I dont' think I am disappointed as much as scared! lol But I do understand the feeling, I just knew I was having a boy and finding out I am having a girl is a big shock. I have been complaining about my 3 neices for a month cause they are all teenagers getting in trouble with boys and stuff and I kept thinking I am so glad I am not going through that! And now eventually I will! lol I also agree with pp that once you get closer to time for your baby to be here and once she is here it will all fly out the window! Once you see the baby all worries melt away. Don't feel bad, just accept it and go on. I am a big believer that there is a reason for everything.
Jacque (30), DH (38), DS (2), Jessica Lynn EDD 11/12/2010, 2 fur babies, Lacy (6)
 
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Jennax907 responded:
Just blame it on your husband. Apparently he must have more girl swimmers than boy swimmers. LOL...Just think how much stuff you're going to be able to re-use? We're having a girl and I really, really wanted a second boy. However, I think I'm getting used to the idea of having a little girl in the house.
DH(38) ME(30) DS(Blaine-1) EDD-9/11 It's a GIRL
 
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casperkawa responded:
I agree you are allowed to feel sad, I had three boys and by the third one I wanted a daughter soooo bad. I was disappointed as well. But it did not take long and I got over it. I was in love with him the minute I saw him ( actually before that. ) My fourth was a girl and now I am pregnant with my fifth, was kind of hoping for a sister for my daughter but she is getting another brother. Which I am fine with. Can't wait to meet him. You will be sad and then you will move on it is normal. Good luck. :)
 
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TinaRaine responded:
I'm so glad that someone posted about this. I haven't found out what we're expecting yet, but part of me REALLY wants a sister for my DD. I'm excited to be pregnant, and I know I will love this LO regardless of gender. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one with these feelings.
 
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diamond7sparkles responded:
We had some gender disappointment too. We also wanted a boy this time. We "looked at the bright side" and figured that we will save lots of money because we won't have to buy a ton of clothes or really anything else because we already have it all for DD1. Now we're just as excited as if it would have been a boy. I think it's okay to feel disappointed but it'll go away. Your baby won't know the difference, just mommy and daddy's love!
Crystal (22) DB (20) Caedance 18 months, Baby 2 EDD 10.25.10 PINK TEAM!


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