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Anyone have the queen of (monster) or mother in laws?
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sweets1988 posted:
im starting to see mine as a monster in law quite fast, and shes quite good at it. mine played me as a friend for months, then the day of my wedding to her son, betrays me and calls me out on several stupid things that could have been handled months ago by talking...and i wasn't aware they bugged her. Stupid little things like my toddler wouldnt eat at her house. shes a horrible cook! everything's greasy and burned, i didnt even wanna eat for goodness sake. but to bring it up at our wedding, how rude is that?

but now over a week later i posted the cute and funny Note to non pregnant people, http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/51583272.aspx?MsdVisit=1 on my face book and she was up in a flap. i understand how it could be offensive but shes in the red on nearly ALL of them and it hurts when she had the gull to say the baby in my belly was HER baby all the time! umm no... you dont tell a prego lady shes too fat, you dont tell her shes not a good mom because she doesnt do it like you did 50 odd years ago! and you dont tell a prego what she can not eat and push that you know whats better then a doctor whos been bringing babies into the world for half her life! but i was always nice and brushed it off at the time. maybe she caught on?

but because i posted that in good heart,( i was not pointing it at her and several of my friends got a good laugh), now im a horrid vile woman that doesn't deserve to be a mother and that i can kiss her arse as soon as assume she will help us with the kids now. well after her actions on my wedding day i had just assumed she wouldnt be inside my house let alone, alone with my children for being so rude and mean. i have done nothing to be rude, mean or unkind. im always polite and honest. I have even loaned her money to help her and this is how she repays me.

when even her son agrees that shes wrong, and fights with me... thats gotta say something. but im hurt because i had thought i had a friend. im stressed cus now shes attempting to blackmailing me and shes attempting turning a lot of the family against me. tho in those two she cant really do much. its all just rather sudden and cold hearted. anyone else having issues with there MIL? opinions on mine? am i in the wrong some how?
Reply
 
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la_to_la responded:
It is also important to be respectful and consider other's feelings, but it is most important that you make decisions for yourself and not based on what someone else is going to think or say. Before the situation gets any more hostile, you should probably have a frank discussion with your MIL that you have everything under control and that you do not want her feedback. You have the right to request this, but I advise that you do request it in the most understanding and compassionate way possible as this is her grandchild and it will be very difficult for her. Make sure she knows how much you value her & want her to be a big part of your baby's life but raising a child & pregnancy are topics that most mothers are sensitive about & that you are not willing to compromise. I know this isn't 100% genuine, but you have to work her a bit. Think of other ways you can include her, like baby clothes shopping. Also, it is 100% important that your husband shows support for you in this discussion with your MIL.

The post on facebook was very cute, but I too can see how your MIL would be offended. Keep this in mind when talking to her and again come from a place of understanding. An apology may be a good lead in for the bigger topic. You may want to consider adding your MIL to a special group on Facebook that can only see certatin things you post & not everything.

At this point, your husband's family knows you well enough to form their own opinion of you without your MIL's input.

As far as the wedding, she was probably just coming to terms with the fact that the wedding was actually going to happen & wanted to voice her concerns that she had been holding back. I know it was an inappropriate time & selfish, but you can manage those situations by letting her know that you would like to discuss her concerns at a more convenient time. If your toddler won't eat at her house, then come up with a plan so that he will. You have a long road ahead of you if you can't find a way to get along with her.
 
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sweets1988 replied to la_to_la's response:
na i brought in the big guns and let her son settle the matter, i was done fighting and he read everything she was writing to me. until she grows up, we wont be seeing or talking to her. we refuse to let our children think that the behavior shows is fine. and as for his whole family they know how she is and its no wonder. i've just learned that i wont trust anyone who cant act like family, and family does not do anything she has the past few weeks. her loss and i certainly dont mind having her bull out of my life.
 
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charissahill replied to sweets1988's response:
would have done the same thing sweets. shes acting like a child and its not healthy for your children or you to be around that behavior. she needs to realize that your going to be married to her son no matter what and there is nothing she can do about it. im sorry you have to go though this. i totally agree with your decision and hope it works out for you.
ME (20) DH (26). Expecting our LO 11/26/11. Hoping for a Boy.
 
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sweets1988 replied to charissahill's response:
thank you hun, we will see how things pan out. and from what my dr says i might be a bit earlier then November 18th i could have a baby before Halloween ^_^ something to look forward to and see! hehe but also because of that she cant crash the hospital uninvited if the dates unknown. wont know til my US on the 5th. i did have a semi- scheduled c-section planned, not any more muhahahaa! plus i picked a hospital with great security. im just glad that no matter what i have ways to make my will happen and pray everything goes well. i already nearly miscarried because of the stress her bull crap put me through a few moths ago and i dont think there is any reason to keep that threat around. my real family is what matters.
 
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Ihgirl1066 replied to sweets1988's response:
My MIL is a royal B!ot*h. She had nothing good to say about me or my SIL from day one. I've never had anyone hate me, and i had never done anything mean to her. She's an alcoholic and mouthed off all the time in the bars, at the bank, we live in a small town, doesnt she think ppl talk? When we were having our first baby i told her 3 times not to show up at the hossy, we'd call when i was ready for a visitor. SHE had the gull to show up at the worst possible time, i was sooo pissed at her, how disrespectful.

When everything got out in the open about how my SIL and I now feel about her, she was all crying and hoping we could get along. Well in my opinion, once you are a B!t*h you are always one, if you disrespect me, i'm not gonna befriend you.

SO she has maybe seen our son 12 times in 14 months, and we live 10 mins apart. She has come here 1 time to see him. But thats her loss, and i rather not have my son exposed to that kind of a person.
Me (Jessica, 27) DH 32, DS 13 months, 2 cats, 1 dog, EDD Baby 2 9-28-11(pink Team-Kali Jean)


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