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    Advice from other moms or pregnant women
    Anon_237770 posted:
    Hi guys,
    My name is Bee and I am 22 Years Old. I am expecting my first child and I have mixed feelings. The father and i are not together (his choice before child was conceived). And we fight often. I am going through alot of stress (i.e lost my mother in March). I love my child and i want to have him or her but i feel alone. And the father says he is supportive but as you ladies know "Actions speak louder than words". Any Advice for me? I would gladly appreciate it.
    missashley1010 responded:
    Well im going to be a FTM too. Im sorry you feel like your all alone. I feel like your already on a good track by coming on this site looking for some support, this site is great for support. Also just being around people that are positive and can help you through this time is good. In pregnancy you can get so wrapped up in things planning and what not just try to keep busy and positive. Good luck to you and congrats! HTH
    blueskies2012 responded:
    Bee, girl you are preaching to the choir. I am 29 years old 16wks5days now & this is my first preg & baby & the DF just came back this week & i'm still taking things slow. He left when i was 5 weeks pregnant to get back together with his ex. It was a huge struggle until i was about 13 wks along. I felt alone, ashamed, even dumb to not have known he would leave, cried everyday, all day. Finally, i remembered the saying my grandmother said.. "Mama's baby, daddy's maybe"... IF a man wants to be there for his child don't deny him that opportunity but if he doesn't then GOD has something better in store b/c nothing HE does is an accident. You have to remember to make yourself WHOLE for your baby with or without that MAN. Bc you could be married & they still don't give a crap. Be strong for your baby and in due time someone, if it's not the biological father, will see you as that strong woman & love you & your baby completely. Trust ME!! and Good Luck!
    chell1003 responded:
    I agree w/ blueskies, I was a single first time mom when I had my first son in 2007 I met my husband when he was about 10 months old and we married in 2009, we now have a second son born 2010 and another boy on the way in december. My husband is very fast to tell anyone "no, he is my son" and I love that. They go fishing, camping and do all kinds of things together I was lucky have found such a great guy to raise a child that was not biologicly his and be so wonderful about it. I know all you ladies will too there are great guys out there.
    BeeCM replied to blueskies2012's response:
    Thank you, i am trying very hard. but its not easy at all
    BeeCM replied to missashley1010's response:
    Thank you
    blueskies2012 replied to BeeCM's response:
    BeeCM--Of course it is hard dear. Nothing worthwhile is easy. It's STILL hard for me. But without struggle there is no progress. IF you ever need to talk & some1 just listen, I'm on the board.
    I had to listen finally listen to people that care about me & decided to enjoy this time being pregnant. WE have a gift in assisting GOD in creating another human being. Beatiful! Enjoy & bask in this experience. Good luck & welcome to mommyhood.
    JennLoney responded:
    With my son who is now 8, I was very much alone in that the father wanted nothing to do with either of us once he found out i was pregnant. I was scared and nervouse but with a good support system you will be able to do it with or without the dad. I met my husband when my son was 3 and he just recently adopted him, I am glad that now he has a dad and we are expecting our daughter in January. Pray and GOD will always do what is best for us all even if it is not exactly what we want it is what is meant to be. If you need to talk I am here on the board frequently. Good Luck.
    htma4494 responded:
    Lurking from 3rd tri community: Hi Anon, a lot of guys, whether you are in a relationship or not, get the "baby blues" so to speak when they find out their going to be dads, its a life changing event. Is this going to be his 1st? I know that you all are not in a relationship, but for the sake of your child, yall are going to have to get along. Ask him if he wants to go with you to your next appt, maybe get him a little more involved. But at the end of the day, if he secludes himself, then you as the mother, you as the the birther of this precious new life, have to do what you have to do with dad around or NOT. We as women, are the backbone of the household, we are going to be the teachers and caregivers of our children. This is my 1st child and me and my DF have been together for along time, but he did have the baby blues initially too, most men do. But if your babys father does want to be there, then just keep your head up and let go and let God, everything will work out.
    Me: 24, DF: 27, EDD: 11/9/10 (1st Child) Team Blue!!! X0X0, Cia

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