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DH doesn't want to find out gender. I do.
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MrsBurt05 posted:
We found out the genders of our boys. This will be our last baby, and hubby doesn't want to find out the gender. He wants it a surprise when he/she is born. I totally understand that surprise factor, and it's an amazing thing! I'm not knockin' people down for going that route. But I'm an impatient person when it comes to stuff like that. PLUS, I've spent hours today in multiple stores looking for gender neutral stuff and this town SUCKS for it! It's nothing but pink/frilly stuff and blue/sports stuff. I was able to find 2 gender neutral outfits out of 5 different stores. Not joking. I like to be prepared and buy gender specific stuff before baby is here. I like to have the baby shower and let people know pink or blue to be prepared for the shower.

I'm letting him have this one, since he's so excited for a surprise right at one of the best moments of his life. I can't "argue" with him being so excited for it. But I can't help feel like we won't be ready for this baby because I can't find gender neutral clothing to last 4-6 weeks, let alone a week, until we can have a baby shower and do some major shopping after he/she is born.

I want to secretly find out and try and keep it from him so I won't ruin it for him, but I'd just feel bad like I betrayed him or something. I can't do that. Lol.

Any tips on preparing for a baby that you won't be finding out the sex and can't find any gender neutral clothing anywhere?? That's where I need the peace of mind.
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Spartan_Mommy responded:
We did not find out the gender with our first (a son), but did with our second (a daughter), and will not again with number three. With our son I purchased a few outfits that were gender specific and returned the ones that were for a girl.

If you already have two sons, chances are you have the "stuff" (crib, cradle, pack-n-play, ect.) and would need a few updated items once the baby gets here. Could you wait until after the baby arrives to have the shower? It could be fun for the people you invite to me your new little person?
 
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MrsBurt05 replied to Spartan_Mommy's response:
We don't have anything baby related anymore. Our youngest is 5. He'll be almost 6 by the time baby gets here so everything we did have was outdated and recalled. We got rid of all that stuff a few years ago because we were moving and had no room to haul everything. Since I posted this, a friend gave us a brand new pack-n-play and my mom got us a crib. I have a few more gender neutral outfits, receiving blankets, and a diaper bag. I don't mind at all having a shower after the baby is born. Baby will get cuddled right up! I was just paranoid on the whole not being prepared when I posted it. I'm better now. Lol

BUT now I have another reason that I want to find out the gender. Our 20yr old niece died tragically in October. This baby was conceived the very week of her funeral after almost 2 years of trying with no result. The timing of it all was...I don't even know how to explain it. A life was taken and at the same time a life was given. We want to name the baby after our niece (her first name being baby's middle name if we have a girl). I'm thinking of my sister-in-law(niece's mom) and how she would feel about it. Hubby doesn't want to tell her, and I can see why. He doesn't want to tell her, then have her hopes up that her baby niece will be carrying on her daughter's name just to find out we have a boy. At the same time I'm thinking she needs to know of what we plan on doing, see how she takes it, see what she thinks, instead of having the baby be born, it is a girl, and we tell her out of the blue she's named after her passed daughter. I don't want to blind side her like that. So now the ONLY reason I want to find out the gender is so if it is a girl, we have time to talk to my sister in law about her name. She knows we're not finding out the gender, too, so she knows the possibility of another boy. But hubby still thinks even though she knows logically we aren't finding out, she'll still get her own hopes up for a girl to carry her daughter's name.

So..I'm stuck.
DS-11/22/05 DS-11/19/07 BFP-10/21/12-DUE JULY 2ND 2013!! Think pink! :)
 
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Spartan_Mommy replied to MrsBurt05's response:
I understand your problem. It is such a sensitive subject and you don't want to do or say anything that would bring more hurt and pain to the situation. I'm sure even if the baby turns out to be a boy, your SIL will be so touched that you wanted to carry on her daughter's namesake. Is there a derivative of your niece's name that could be for a male? If so, you might be covered either way.

By the way, our kiddos are all the same ages. My son was born 6/05, my daughter was born 10/07, and my EDD with #3 is July 1.
 
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MrsBurt05 replied to Spartan_Mommy's response:
That's so neat! Haha!

We have figured out what we're going to do. Hubby has decided that we're going to find out the gender. As the date of the ultrasound got closer, he's been thinking more and more about it and decided we'll find out. If it is a boy, I do want to use the masculine name of her middle name as either first or middle name of baby, but hubby doesn't like it. We put trying to find boy names of her names on hold until we find out, because hubby thinks 1 million % that it's a girl, and he's not going along with ANY boy name right now! Lol.

Our ultrasound is tomorrow, so hopefully we have a cooperative baby!
DS-11/22/05 DS-11/19/07 BFP-10/21/12-DUE JULY 2ND 2013!! Think pink! :)


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