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dealing with death while pregnant.
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wilburlbh posted:
my grandmother just passed on feb.4th, i was VERY close to her. my brother & i lived with her for 7 years while we were younger. everyday the healing & grieving gets better, but i still dont feel myself. i feel lost & weird. just wondering when this feeling will go away.

it also doesnt help that i have felt different with this pregnancy the whole time. its so much different then my sons. i loved being pregnant with my son. i talked to him and played with him in my belly. i didnt mind not having him forever. i try to do that with this baby but its just different. im so done being pregnant & havnt really talked or played with her at all.

feel soo bad for this baby girl. i feel like im being a bad mom for not being like i was with my son while i was pregnant with him. i dont feel as connected or happy about being pregnant. people tell me i probably feel this way because pregnancy isnt new to me anymore & i know what to expect & its not as exciting as it once was, but dealing with my grandmas death has just made everything worse.

anyone else felt this way? any ideas on how to keep my mind off things & start bein happy again?!

thanks for listening.
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jagersmommy responded:
Lurking:

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandma.

I don't know how to answer your question since I've only been pregnant once so it was all new and exciting. I would just try to talk to someone close. Hope you feel better!

Your due date is right arounf the corner
 
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Sara6Cats responded:
Sorry for your loss as well. Part of the reason you may not feel as connected could be that you're busy with your DS too - I know that's kind of how I feel - with DS I sat on the couch and would just watch my belly move and feel him moving around and I haven't even taken the time to really acknowledge that there's a baby in there this time. When I was 40w pregnant with DS - DH's uncle died in a horrible accident (he fell three stories down an elevator shaft working on the roof) it was so hard at a time we were supposed to be looking forward to this baby coming into our lives and then we had to deal with such a hard loss - I felt bad for DH since I couldn't be there for him like I should have been because I was so physically drained - I was asked to sing at the funeral but couldn't commit because I didn't know if I would be in the hospital or anything at the time - it was a lot to handle thinking about both things going on at once! We did decide however that we would honor his uncle's memory through our son and give him the same middle name as DH's uncle - maybe something you could do to remember/honor your grandmother - I'm sure you're DD will be glad to know she was named after or in honor of someone that was so special to you! Again I'm very sorry for your loss - words aren't enough to help you deal with it and I know that!
 
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kdbentley responded:
During my last pregnancy my father in law unexpectedly passed away 3 weeks before my due date. It was very hard because 2 days prior he had been at my house watching my kids and then he was gone. Grieving no matter when the death happens takes time. We didn't have a lot of time between the death of my FIL and the birth of our son. We had a busy 2 weeks getting everything for the baby's arrival. It also will help get your mind off it the more you get ready for your daughter over the next few weeks.

I think the hormones are different with a girl and a boy while you are pregnant. While I have actually enjoyed being pregnant both times, I have felt different. Some of it may be that it isn't new the second time around. With my son I cried all of the time, this time I have hardly felt that way but I have been sooooo tired and my hips have killed the entire time. For me it is more likely that I am more exhausted working fulltime with 2 boys under 5 at home but I have to think the hormones play a part. Try to keep yourself as busy as you can right now. Your son can sense that you aren't happy so put all of the energy you can into him.
 
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dylansmumm responded:
hmm, i miss my gmother terribly still and its been about 7 yrs since her passing, i was very close to her too, with my 1st pregnancy with my son it was all wonderful, every tiny thing was a cool milestone, now that im pregnant with my daughter its like "bleh, yea yea i get it, make with the baby already",,, every pregnancy is different but for me, the 1st one was special, the pregnancies after are just cheap repeats. but feeling that way most certainly doesnt make me or you a bad mommy!! we cant help how grief mixed with hormones effects us. plus when ur baby finally comes ull be all kinds of nuts over her so just look forward to that,, sorry for ur loss


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