Pregnancy: Third Trimester Community

DF's mom is a doula and she is extremely pushy on everything and she's not even my doula! I do not have one nor do I want one. I'm sure not all are doulas are like her, I think it's more of her being this way because it's her grandchild. she pushes me to do it her way. for example I am not breastfeeding and she still asks me if I am which by the way is none of her business and I telll her no just as I have before and she pushes it on me and then tells me "if you have any questions ask me" even if I did she'd be the last person I'd ask.

she constantly tells me how doctors aren't completely necessary and she'll say aggressively "birth is NOT a medical condition" I understand she wants to think that way but if something went wrong during birth and I wasn't in a hospital and it affected my baby in any way I would never forgive myself for having listened to her. she tells me stories of how some client of hers stayed at home, took a bath and relaxed after her water broke and when she decided to go to the hospital she had the baby within the hour and due to all the relaxation she labored at home and didn't even know it! as amazing as that sounds my family has had issues. my sister's first baby's umbilical cord wrapped around the neck, the baby didn't make it :( . friend of the family, the baby's heart rate dropped dramatically and they had to do an emergency c-section so luckily she was at the hospital. I plan on going to the hospital at the first sign of labor and DF's mom has a problem with that but idc.

My vote is for no doula OR if you decide on having a doula, interview her. make sure she knows where you stand. she is there to ASSIST you, not to push her ways on you. like I said, I'm sure they aren't all like DF's mom so my answer is just based off my experience from being around her so sorry that my answer is biased.

I am a doula and am also 38 weeks pregnant. The job of a doula is not to push your beliefs onto your client. It is to support your client in whatever deicisions she makes and to help her through labor and delivery. If she pushes her opinions on you she is not doing her job.

I am using a doula and used one for my last birth. I had a hospital birth and plan to again and not to wait too long to go. I don't want to use any pain medication, but I will if I need to. My doula was very supportive of all my decisions (I know that I made some that she didn't like.) Anyway, yes interview her first and see what her philospohy is.

5ylver - if your DF Mom's that annoying I wonder how she gets any clients! It's prob b/c that it's her grandchild.

If you get a doula, you interview a couple and pick one who you click with.

I had a doula and I'm getting one again. My DH (despite having gone to Bradley classes with me) was totally not helping me.

Hey there,

This is my first birth and my massage therapist is training to be a doula. From the sounds of it she is basically taking all my information and making sure that everything I want is relayed to the hospital staff. She's also there to help my husband help me. To me it seems more like having an advocate for what you want, since it may be hard to convey either from contractions and or just the stress and anxiety of labor. I agree with PP that everything I read they're supposed to advocate for you not push their beliefs.. Poor Sylver I bet it totally is because its her grandchild. The other thing the Doula is great for is giving you ALL of your options, so you can make an educated decision. I think the most important thing about choosing someone, is to make sure you click. Make sure the person that is there to help you relax will actually do that. HTH