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Is it normal ... ?
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jle09 posted:
to a little hostility towards your spouse while being pregnant?

With my first child, there was a lot of hostility there, but I chalked it up to because we were young, and at that point I was the only one whose life was changing.

This time, I'm not experiencing nearly as much, but at times I find myself upset because again, I'm the one whose body is changing. When I wake up multiple times during the night to pee, or to change positions because my legs are numb and see my husband sleeping peacefully -- it irks me.

Then I think of labor, and while I am honored that without me -- we wouldn't have this child, I still find myself fixating on the fact that I will be the one in all the pain. And when I express these feelings to my husband his typical response is, well we wanted a baby and you've done this before so you knew what to expect. He doesn't mean it like it sounds, just like "hey you know what we were getting into" and while I agree; it doesn't make being pregnant any easier. It doesn't make giving up your body for 9 months fun. It doesn't change the fact that this is hard.

In my rational mind, I remember my husband as given up things too during this pregnancy, but obviously not nearly as much as I have.

Am I the only one, who in sometimes feels this way?
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mkdawn06 responded:
totally girl! I feel the same way sometimes. Especially lately. I have been feeling so moody and angry with dh. Probably for all good reasons but when i am not prego i would probably just brush it off. But when prego it sets me off. Lately all i hear dh talk about is he is tired, and he is not feeling good, how he doesnt want to go to work. He took off 4-5 differnet days last month alone. And then takes off yesterday. Excuse?? Im tired. Usually that would not bug me but it really pevees me right now. Hello i am 8 months prego tired, swollen, dont want to work, hurting like no other and he complains he is tired!!!!!! Be in my shoes for day bucko! And to top it off. He didnt even try to help me do anything around the house yesterday because it was my orginal day off. I should be the one relaxing for crying out loud. And then when i told him how tired i was and exhausted i was and really didnt feel like cleaning house all he has to say is "ok". I blew up crying. How insensitive can he be? Atleast a " im sorry that ur feeling bad" would be good enought for me, Anywhoo. Sorry to vent on your post. Just wanted to let u know your not alone. Atleast we dont have much longer to go!
 
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Taylove11 responded:
I think that this is pretty normal. Especially at this stage of pregnancy. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that it's not real for them yet and they have no sympathy. They can't relate to pregnancy at all. Our bodies are changing, we feel all of the aches and pains, etc. They don't notice any difference besides our bellies getting bigger and what we tell them we feel.

I feel this way occasionally with my DH. For me, it's more about doing house work. I get angry when I'm going around the house trying to clean it up and get everything ready for the LO and DH is just sitting on his butt watching TV. Especially when I work so hard that I get BHC. It's a lot harder on me now to do it than it is for him. We both work full time so it's not like he's working more than me and when I come home, I do all of the housework.

Lately it's been worse because with summer time, DH has been playing softball and drinking beer ocassionally. I get pretty bummed because I can't do those things. (We have played softball together for 3 years, but not this year.)

Hang in there girl! You're not alone.
 
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MarissasMommy replied to Taylove11's response:
SOOOO normal!! You are totally not alone. My DH played softball Friday night (co-ed, me and the kids went along with him) and then we went out to eat with his team. Got home LATE. Well, he got up and went to a tournament and stayed gone ALL day. Which means I spent all day taking care of the kids. So, he wants to complain Sunday about being tired and sore. I was ready to knock him out! He was like, what? You complain all the time about how tired, uncomfortable, etc YOU are. Well, that's because I'm carrying your son, you insensitive jerk!! You CHOSE to go play ball all day, knowing you're not as young and in shape as you used to be! No one MADE you go play all day. Butthead!

So, sorry this turned into my own vent...but you are DEFINITELY not alone in your feelings!!!
 
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mkdawn06 replied to MarissasMommy's response:
Im laughing now. Because what u r saying sounds so familar. My dh takes off yesterday from work because" hes tired" goes plays softball on a coed team last night. was a pretty late game. did not get home till 1030 pm. So yes we were all tired. And then after what happended yesterday with him. he tells me this morning that he should have taken today off instead of yesterday. lol Omg! I swear if he takes anymore time off work for stupid excuses such as hes tired or just doesnt feel like going to work im gonna scream! He is using all his vacay time. When he should be saving that time to spend with me after lo is born. Uggghhh!!!!!
 
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Lainey_WebMD_Staff responded:
Men are taught to view pain as something to "suck up" and can never understand pregnancy in the depth you do. They watch from the sidelines.
 
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mkdawn06 replied to Lainey_WebMD_Staff's response:
I think it is funny that u say mean view pain as something to "suck up" if thats the case well my husband really needs to suck it up. lol. Because i am not a big complainer about how i feel. When i am prego and when i am not prego. He on the other hand complains everytime i turn around. I really do want to some days tell him to suck it up. I know it sounds like i am being a "b". I do appreciate my dh. He does do a more physical job than i do. So i can understand why he is tired. I guess i just wish he would appreciate more of what i do and have to go through. And please Lord help me around the house. lol
 
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cyberkat99 responded:
Nope, definitely not alone. My DH is a big jokster and loves telling people about my raging hormones and how mean I've been toward him since I've gotten preggers, which is totally untrue! If anything I've been the opposite of what I thought I would be, because I did expect to be moody and irrational, lol! He ticks me off when he tells me to relax because our house remodel isn't done yet. It was supposed to be done by March and here we are with our kitchen and dining room still torn up, furniture and boxes in our living room and I'm 37 weeks! I was hoping to have at least a good month before the baby comes to get things put back together around here. But, it doesn't do me any good to stress out about it, what is, is. It does feel good to vent about it though, hehe!
 
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Lainey_WebMD_Staff replied to mkdawn06's response:
I understand, we women "at times" have the big strong DH/BF, or the little boy who needs mommy. My DH will do house work if he is in the mood aka "in the dog house!"


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