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Feels like life is crumpling down around me
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michelleloehr posted:
So yesterday was a rough day to say the least and my stupid work server wasn't even working well enough for me to get on here for support.

In a nutshell: DH was fired from his job yesterday, we found out through the grapevine that it was total poltical BS (ex-boss is bringing in an old friend to take DH's place). DH made more than me so we are down a paycheck and its our bigger paycheck. As some of you may know we were looking to move back to our hometown. This is just spending that process way up.

DH plans on moving in w/ my parents in IN later this week (wonder how that will go w/o me there) in hopes that will help w/ the job hunt. But here I am 6 months pregnant and a 1,000 away from any family. We've got some friends down here but none live really close by and not only that there are certain things that would be awkward request (i.e. i've only known you for a year or so would you like to be my labor coach?). So needless to say I'm scared, probably more afraid than I've ever been of anything ever before (and we've taken a few really big risks before).

I just don't know what to do. I don't want DH to leave but I know him going back is the best thing for our family. It just makes me sad he's going to miss the entire 3rd tri and possible the birth our baby. I'm trying to be strong because I know he feels horrid about it all but I've because the human garden hose over the last 24 hours.

Life just sucks right now. Thanks for letting me vent.
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lizhf2003 responded:
Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry you're in that situation! Is there anyway you can go too? Hopefully he will find something quickly and then you can move there shortly after. Think of it as a temporary situation. Just until he gets a job and then you can be together again. Hang in there!!
 
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ReneeErin replied to lizhf2003's response:
I hope he finds a job quickly and that you can join him right away!! My brother just lost his job too, and they have a 3 week old baby and no other income!!! It's SO frustrating when companies just get rid of valuable people!
1st baby finally on the way after 11 failed cycles! Due September 12th. It's a GIRL!!!!
 
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lestersgirls responded:
Oh honey, I'm so sorry.
Hopefully, DH will find a job before you have the baby. Think of it this way: It sounds like you were kind of on the fence about moving back to your hometown. Now the ball is rolling and you don't have to make the decision. A higher power made it for you.
If you can't go with DH, please don't be afraid to ask for help from your friends. You'd be surprised how many of them would be HAPPY to help you.
You've said you guys have taken risks before and you're still together and made it!! I know it's hard to see that far down the road.
I'll be praying for you guys!
Steffanie (37),Lester (30), DD1 (8-14-03), DD2 (4-12-05), Angel Baby @6 weeks (6-17-08), Baby Boy Kellan Lester Due 10-12-10!
 
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ingramsept responded:
I don't know if it is possible, but your husband should be able to collect unemployment, maybe you could live off of that for the remainder of your pregnancy and then your husband could move after that. And he could probably still search for jobs online and then maybe make some trips periodically if he gets interviews. Just some suggestions. Good luck.
September 33, Ryan 35 and Max edd 10/2
 
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michelleloehr replied to ingramsept's response:
we put in for unemployement but its such a small fraction of what your normal income that we wouldn't make it with the house. last night I called an cut way back or cut out a lot of our luxuries: high speed internet, cable, etc.

I just can't go yet not w/ the house. If we were in an apartment and all we were doing was breaking a lease I'd probably say screw it and go. but we have to get the house sold before I can do anything and even then just to cover our bills that aren't house related we will need to bring home a minimum of 3000 a month to cover student loans, car payment, insurance, etc so unless he can get a good job back there w/ insurance i can't leave my job until the baby comes.

It's just a really scary thought to be facing the fact that I could very well be going into labor w/o anyone around me. I know that other women have done it. Heck I'm sure there are some miltary wives on this board that experiencing the exact same things. Its just hard because this isn't how you envision your pregnancy going.

thanks for the support ladies
 
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KityKatK8 responded:
You know, a previous poster once mentioned something about Doulas in training as a less expensive way to have a support person in the delivery room with you. Maybe you should look into that. I realize that a normal Doula would be a huge expense for you right now, but maybe the students could be less expensive, or maybe even pro-bono?

I am really impressed with DH living with your parents alone for 3 months. I wouldn't live with my ILs for a weekend without DH!

I guess the only other thing is to consider what else you own that could be valuable enough to sell. That way you wouldn't have to move it later...

GL and hope things improve soon!
 
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beccadita80 replied to michelleloehr's response:
Michelle, I'm so sorry this has happened to you and DH. I really hope that DH is able to get a job quickly so that you will be able to move. Hang in there lady and know that we are always here for you. I'll leave you with my sister's favorite quote...

"what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" (((hugs)))
Becca(29) DH(30) PINK TEAM!!!! EDD 11/16 which is also my birthday! 2 furbabies
 
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risdiane responded:
I think everything does sound and likely feel very stressful for you. (((hugs))) I thought I would share this - when I was young my mom got laid off and she was a single mom and it was so scary, but it forced her to find a new job. She ended up with a job that paid more and has been there and happy for 18 years now. If she had not been forced to leave she never would have found the one she has now. I guess kind of the point is that maybe this is a blessing in diguise it will force you and DH to go ahead and move closer to home and hopefully both end up with something you like there.

Its no fun to deal with such stressful things and especially not when you are pregnant. I hope something works out soon for you both!


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