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I miss this board
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MNMommy3 posted:
I so miss being on the third trimester board!! As achy and huge as I felt I really miss it over here. Nevaeh is 7 days old now and for the past 3 nights I have felt super depressed! It's not so much during the day, but after 5:00 pm it seems. I am now a mother of 3 kids, one who is in middle school, one in kindergarten and baby Nevaeh. Every one has their own schedules and routines and DB is back to work and being a wonderful help for middle of the night wakenings, but I'm kinda stuck in this "I don't know who I am again" mode. I miss the time that DB and I used to have watching his stupid Star Trek every night, cuddling, goofing around before bed, and just being silly with each other. Cherish the time you have with your LO's still in your tummy, as horrible as you may feel. I forgot how much really changes when you bring baby home. We're also struggling with BF because I've had the latch wrong almost this whole time, so my nipples are cracked and sore and bleeding and extremely painful! Ugh... baby blues? Postpartum depression? Whatever it is, it is NOT a fun feeling! Anyway, thanks for letting me vent ladies!
~ Kelly (31), DB (31), DS1 (12), DS2 (5), baby GIRL due 01/09/11!
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osamuel08 responded:
Hang in there Kelly... I remember those days with #2 and not looking forward to the hectic, never a down moment, with the arrival of #3. I love my kids too, but my life is so much easier once we all fall into a routine and in the beginning, it is hard, because there really is no routine. Keep it up and before long she will start to settle in like the other two and you'll get back that time you miss. Obviously if you continue to feel "off" give your doc a shout, just to discuss the possibility that something more is working against you... Hope you are back to your old self soon and congrats to you and your family on that little girl :)
 
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dino44 responded:
Lurking...
Hang in there, girl! I was feeling really sad for a couple of weeks, too. I sooooo missed being pregnant. As miserable as I was, I still missed having him in my tummy and all to myself. I am just now starting to feel a bit better, and Asher was three weeks old yesterday. It's 9:15pm, and I am just now getting dinner. Breakfast this morning was a banana. I, too, forgot how different and hectic everything is when Baby comes home. Poor DH got put on the back burner big time, and I miss him so much. I'm just so busy with DD and DS. As for the BFing, it will get easier now that you have your latch corrected. I had a bad latch with DD, and my nipples suffered majorly. I didn't get a chance to respond to your post on the BFing board, but the lanolin and gel pads will help. In a few weeks, you'll forget you ever went through this, and BFing will be great... not painful. I am so glad some one came by to show you what to do right.

Vent away, Momma! The first few weeks are rough with all the crazy hormone changes, a new baby to care for and a severe lack of sleep. You are doing a great job!
Me: Tabatha (28), DH: Paul (29), Angel Baby @ 13 weeks, PAL graduate!!!: Emma 4/3/09, Keeping our fingers crossed for another Graduate. EDD 12/31/10 YELLOW TEAM
 
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Wendy12345678 responded:
I'm with you. I just came on because I miss it so much. My baby was born Saturday morning, and I actually got sad being able to shave my legs. Bending over I realized my baby was not there anymore. This is also my 3rd and I find it hard being overwhelmed. One in school and one home and my DH at work I feel like I'm going to miss this time just like I missed my pregnancy because I'm so busy. I miss being pregnant, my husband thinks I'm crazy because I say lets do it again in a few years after he watched the labor. Your not alone. It sounds like we are in a very similar place, at a similar time. The bf will get better, I am also having some pain, but I remember from my last two that its only temporary. I did get on the board for the same reason as you, so I feel you.
 
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MNMommy3 replied to Wendy12345678's response:
Glad to hear I'm not the only one. I thought I was crazy lol. As for the BF, I've decided to exclusively pump and give it to her by bottle. The pain and anxiety were too much for me to handle. I feel much more relaxed and relieved after making this decision. I felt really sad being able to shave my legs too!! Even making the decision to pump made me sad; like I wasn't doing it "the way it was meant to be done." The other night I was doing dishes and felt sad that my belly wasn't bumping into the sink. It's amazing what our bodies go through emotionally more so than physically during this time. The emotions have really taken their toll on me. Do you find that it gets worse during the evening/nighttime? This is definitely my last one! I thought about maybe one more, but I just don't think I can do it again, emotionally. Anyway, glad I'm not the only crazy one who wishes she was preggo again lol.
~ Kelly (31), DB (31), DS1 (12), DS2 (5), baby GIRL due 01/09/11!
 
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Wendy12345678 replied to MNMommy3's response:
Its so funny, we where just reading and responding to each others posts and now here we are in the same situation at the same time. I agree with you about the emotional tole. Everyone has been commenting on how good I look, and how much I'm up since the hospital (which I miss) and it actually makes me sad. I don't want to shrink fast, I wasn't done with pregnancy! The emotional tole is so much worse than even the labor. I was so upset that I was induced for swelling because like you said I didn't feel I was doing it the way it was meant to be done! My epidural didn't work and I refused any other pain meds or a new one, and I'm actually glad that I at least got to feel the labor naturally. Its super insane. Who wants to be big, and feel labor pains! I find its kinda random, but when I start to feel overwhelmed, or my body feels normal I cry. I tend to think that as fast as its gone, its going to keep going, and my innocent baby will be grown. Which of course MAKES ME CRY. I moved over to the parenting boards first year, hoping it will make me feel a part of something again. It would be nice to see you over there!
 
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MNMommy3 replied to Wendy12345678's response:
LOL seems we are going through a lot of the same things. I am over on the parenting first year board too. I keep getting the "you look so good" comments too, and I don't want to look good. I want to look pregnant. I have dropped 20 pounds already though, and it kind of feels good, but now my maternity clothes are too big and my pre-pregnancy clothes are too small, so I'm stuck wearing sweats/yoga pants and plain t-shirts, very attractive lol. One thing I am looking forward to doing is having a glass of wine. That's one thing I've missed throughout the pregnancy, just a glass or two. I just have to figure out how I'm going to do it with BF. Maybe that will help me relax one of these evenings. Do people still pump and dump?
~ Kelly (31), DB (31), DS1 (12), DS2 (5), baby GIRL due 01/09/11!
 
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Wendy12345678 replied to MNMommy3's response:
I did pump and dump a couple of times between nursing my two other kids, but I doubt a glass of wine would really require it. I'm glad your over there, hopefully more will follow from this board!
 
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osamuel08 replied to Wendy12345678's response:
Butting in about the wine... after #2 I too needed a glass of wine come the evening because I was seriously losing it. My ped said as long as I had it immediately after the last nursing, it would be fine by the time the next scheduled feeding was due. You may want to double check that because "guidelines" seem to change daily but that is what I am hoping the case is again. And I am hoping (and praying)the jump from 2 kids to 3 kids is not nearly as crazy as going from 1 to 2 was for me!!

Jen (34) DH (34) DS (5) DS (2) EDD 4/7/11 blue team
 
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Wendy12345678 replied to osamuel08's response:
For me, and thats just for me, its been harder going from 2 to 3 in some ways, and easier in others. Having one in school and one home means a lot more germs in these fragile early stages which is driving me nuts. My older one brings them home, and my younger one keeps them here. Also getting quite is much harder. We came home the day after my son was born, because I had to take care of my other kids, then my husband went back to work the next morning, which left me a bit overwhelmed. Not sure if your oldest is in school, but I found that to be a stressor in some ways. As far as easier, I feel really confident with the baby. I'm all instinct and I feel I know exactly what I'm doing. I know poop and feeding and dressing. I really have it down, and did from the get go. There is much more of a sense that the baby is allright because I have done it twice and I know whats normal (LOL like going through 84 diapers in the first week). Also not sure if you breastfed, but that is easier this time. I'm healing faster, and my engorement hasn't been nearly as bad. Still there, but not quit the marble breasts I use to get. I wish you luck, this was boy number 3 for me also!
 
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osamuel08 replied to Wendy12345678's response:
Love to hear that the engorgement isn't as bad this time because I honestly believe that it is the worst (physical) part of post pregnancy. I nursed my first two and plan on doing the same with this one but boy is that first week hard on me. It gets to the point where I can barely put my arms down, it builds up in my armpits. And of course the baby can't keep up with my supply and I dare not pump it or else I continue to make that much! Seriously hoping my girls have figured it out this go around!
I can imagine you are overwhelmed, coming home early and then DH going back to work the next day. Not sure if you've ever dealt with PPD but be aware of how you are feeling/reacting because I had a similar set up with #2 and I think those feelings/events you are describing spurred it. Not saying I wouldn't have had it with more support from DH (he was an emergency responder and they were sent to TX for a few weeks after a bad hurricane a week after #2 was born) but I know it DID NOT help. I was totally overwhelmed and to make mattters worse, didn't really get a grip until 10 months after the birth. I was never tested for PPD because I was too out of it to even consider it at the time, but looking back I was pretty much a classic case and everyone suffered, kids included. This time I am more prepared with help and aware of myself.
My greatest concern is actually my oldest not being in school, he doesn't start kindergarten until August, my middle boy having not started preschool yet, and having the newborn. Basically from April-August I have no gane plan on what to do with these boys. They are too young for camp, too young to sit around and watch hours of TV, and obviously have a lot of energy that up until now, we've managed with activities, vacations, play dates, etc... I just know #3 will make that so much harder this summer. I can't figure how to do normal summer time things (ex pool) while keeping the baby. My play dates are starting to dry up too because many of my friends with kids are going back to work. So I am looking for a hail mary this summer.
Anyway this is long, sorry. Chat later and good luck!


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