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L&D room drama! help!
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erin_addy posted:
I am kind of frustrated right now and need to know if I may be overreacting....
Just a little background....This is my second baby and with my first baby my L&D was a nightmare! Not just because of the pain but because of the amount of traffic that went in and out of my room!! At first i didnt mind because it was my family and my fiance's family but as the pain got worse they continued to come in and out like there was nothing happening in there! My fiance's sister brought her two young girls (5 and with her and one of them kept crying because she didnt like the sound of the monitors and my "sister-in-law" just sat there and would watch the monitor and say..."oh here comes a BIG contraction! are you ready?" So there i was tightening up and stressing out.....eventually the doctor said that I was beginning to CLOSE BACK UP because i was too tense and causing swelling! and everyone was still in and out allll day and 20 hours later they said that they may have to do a Csection and I FINALLY delivered before they could.

So I had mentioned to my fiance' this time that I just wanted him and maybe my mom in there throughout the day. I just want to rest and concentrate on staying relaxed through the labor without worrying about talking to people or having anxiety about children seeing me in pain. He actually got offended! He doesnt understand why my mom can maybe be in there but none of his family. He said that family deserves to have a part in such a big event! YAH! like my labor is considered the 4th of July or something! I can see them stopping in or calling to check in but not to sit in there the whole time! My fiance' seen my list of things that I want to bring to the hospital and two of the things were a book and my iPod and he said, "why are you bringing those? are you just going to ignore everyone?" EVERYONE?! I am ready to tell him that he can stay home too and Ill just go by myself so and not tell anyone until the baby is here!

Sorry I wrote a darn book but I am so frustrated and actually stressing that no one is going to honor my wishes and its going to be just as terrible as last time. What should I do? I dont want to step on toes and hurt feelings but im ready to tell everybody to leave me alone when I go into labor. HELP
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KBratt responded:
I know how you feel, I had a HUGE audience with DD too, & I told DH that this time no one was allowed in until after I had delivered. We are hoping to have a scheduled c-section on a Friday morning so that everyone else will be at work & we will have all day to rest & relax before people start coming in in the evening & weekend...we'll see how that works out. But he didn't care that I don't want anyone in there, we have already had a couple visits to L&D with contraction scares so the nurse has assured me that they can keep everyone out until I am ready & we don't intend on calling anyone to tell them I am in there because we don't want them coming up to the hospital then getting pissed because they can't come in my room & DH sure isn't leaving me to mingle with them!!

I'm sorry your fiance is being such a jerk about it, but I think you need to be firm & stand your ground, the labor process is about keeping you & baby healthy and safe, if he or his family cannot respect that then maybe they need to think about what's important to them! If they are causing you stress & potentially causing the baby distress that's pretty selfish of them! Good Luck!
Katie 24; DH-Ryan 23; DD-Kelsey 17mo; DS Riley Wayne EDD 3/6/12
 
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ajohnson08099 replied to KBratt's response:
I'm sorry your Fiance is being a brat. But ultimately this is your labor.. Not his. Let the nurses play the bad guy. They can tell everyone to get out of the room so it doesn't look like your fault.

But sure tell your fiance that you Don't want them there, because of the stress it causes so for the health of both of your new baby you Will ignore everyone. Thats your choice. I mean do whatever is going to work for him to get it. Its your choice hon, not his.
 
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sdadkin responded:
Lurking...

My SO is the total opposite of yours. He doesn't like to be around a lot of people. I am the one with the big family. I love my family, but I don't want to be surrounded by them when I am in so much pain. With my first baby I had my SO go out and tell the nurse to tell my family that there could only be 2 people in the room at a time. It worked and they all left and just came in 2 at a time which was much more bearable. I had already told everyone that I only wanted my SO in the room at time of delivery so when I started progressing more they all left and went to the waiting room. When he was born he had to go straight to the NICU so once everybody realized they weren't going to be able to see him for awhile they all left and I didn't have a whole lot of visitors after that.

With my second delivery not as many people showed up because it was a scheduled induction for early Monday morning. It was mainly our parents and my grandparents which was a little stressful toward the end but not too bad. I hate that everyone was watching. My grandma would stare at the monitor (even before my epi) and when she saw a contraction coming she would stare at me and see how I reacted to it. Then she would be like "Did you feel that?" It drove me crazy! Finally they all left when it was time to push and I wouldn't let them back there for like the first 45 minutes after he was born.

You just have to be firm and stand your ground. Tell the nurse to tell everyone only 2 visitors at a time and when you're getting close to the delivery time then have the nurse kick everyone out but who you want to be there. Let the nurse be the bad guy. That's what they're there for- to take care of you! I am sure nurses are used to it anyway. Good luck!
Me (26) SO (26) Carter (7/22/09) Mason (5/03/11)
 
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tlkittycat1968 replied to sdadkin's response:
Definitly need to speak your mind. When I had DS, he woke me up at 12a after only one hour of sleep. Almost everyone came to visit on that day and I was exhausted. When I was pregnant with DD, I told some people to come on the second day and told them why and they did.


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