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Why have a baby shower?
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RobynMia posted:
So, I come from a very large family, my mom is one of twelve and I have tons of cousins. There are wedding showers, weddings, baby showers, graduations, etc up the wahoo. And, they get very, very expensive.

There are two graduations and four weddings this summer alone. Because of this I feel way too guilty to even request a baby shower (on top of that I'm in a different state). Especially because my husband and I planned our baby to be.

With that being said, where did the tradition of asking other people for stuff occur from? What are your thoughts on baby showers?
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sarahann1978 responded:
I also live in a different state then our families. With my first I had two baby showers, one was thrown by my husbands co-workers and the second by my co-workers. My Mom and Sister happened to be visiting for the second one, so they attended, but other than that they were the only family. I have had one so far with this pregnancy and again it was my husband's co-workers who attended.

If you think a family party is too much of an imposition, then maybe someone from your local community could throw one for friends, neighbors, co-workers, church members, etc. Family can always ship you a gift if they feel compelled and are financially able. They may also already have different ideas in mind and are planning to throw you a shower.

I just keep a laid back attitude about it, and figure if someone offers to throw the shower, then ok, but if not then that is fine too. I am in a situation where I don't need baby items though which helps. If you really need items, maybe you could talk with a close family member (like your Mom) to see what they are thinking. Maybe you could do some sort of virtual shower though Skype or something where everyone mails you a gift and then you open the gifts and they watch online.
Sarah (33) DH (31) DS Austin (Jan 2009) Team Pink Baby Kaitlan (Aug 2012)
 
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Zaysmama replied to sarahann1978's response:
I live in the same state as my mom and grandma but the rest of my family is scattered between PA and WV and VA... so they would all have to travel to get to a shower, but they did last time when my mom thru the shower for DS1... Now that I am pregnant with DS2 my mom doesn't have the time to throw a second shower for this LO so some of my co-workers have gotten together and have everything set up for the next of next month. They have included my mom by asking for opinions and everything so she doesnt feel left out but also so feel stressed to have to take care of it all again. Family and friends as well as other co-workers have been invited so I guess whoever shows up shows up, I am just grateful to be getting another shower thrown!
 
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tbkittycat responded:
I had three showes with DS (work, family, friends) and one with DD (work). The family shower took place at our annual family reunion so my dad's whole family was there which made it easy. It was a co-shower with my SIL who was pregnant at the same time. My mom was at all 3 of my showers for DS.

DH and I planned both kids but the showers were still nice.
 
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RobynMia replied to tbkittycat's response:
A virtual baby shower! Ah, the world of technology. That is fabulous.

Work baby showers are definitely a nice touch and I don't feel that are overly intrusive because it is not a mandatory party. I just so happen to have just finished up my grad degree and moved out of state so unfortunately their will be no work baby shower for me and I am new to the area!

And, I'm not saying the stuff isn't nice. And, I would certainly accept gifts from those that would like to help (because I'm poor)! I've been purchasing most of my stuff used or have been getting hand me downs. I don't figure a kid cares about the color of their bedding or onesies!

Three showers!! Wow.

So, ladies, what I was asking is don't any of you feel guilty for asking people to spend that kind of money on you when it was your choice to get pregnant (planned or not)? Why or why not? I'm just curious if my social views are tainted or backward!
 
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sarahann1978 replied to RobynMia's response:
I don't feel guilty, but I know that the gifts I have received haven't been super expensive. I mostly got clothes, towels, blankets, toys, etc; the smaller stuff. People love to spoil the baby, and it's not really up to me to decide what someone can or can't afford.

Along those lines though I make it a point to not put super expensive items on my registry, I feel like the big ticket items are our responsibilty, and most of it I got passed down from my siblings anyway. To date I have only received one item off my registry this time around and it was the $20 baby book.
Sarah (33) DH (31) DS Austin (Jan 2009) Team Pink Baby Kaitlan (Aug 2012)
 
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sarahann1978 replied to sarahann1978's response:
I would also add that I don't feel guilty because I never asked for any of my showers. Friends offered to throw them, and they invited guests, so I did not directly ask anyone for anything. They all made the choice to celebrate my children. For many of them I have also reciprocated at their showers too.
Sarah (33) DH (31) DS Austin (Jan 2009) Team Pink Baby Kaitlan (Aug 2012)
 
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tbkittycat replied to RobynMia's response:
I figure it's up to them if they want to spend money on the baby or not. One of my aunts bought the Pak n Play off my list but I wasn't expecting it at all. I don't care if they want to spend $5 or $500, it's totally up to them. It's getting together and celebrating the new life that is about to arrive that's the best part. The gifts are just icing on the cake.
 
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MichelleAve responded:
Just talk to them about it. If you don't need anything from them why don't you just have a baby shower for the sake of having one? For my second son I just had a party more or less. I made these cute baby shower invitations on Shutterfly and I had them say "Your presence is a present." Some people brought presents anyway, so they got an extra thank you card


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