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    Feelings Of Lost Identity
    An_249406 posted:
    I had surgery May 2011 with a external radiation follow up,
    all went well.
    I just feel like I'm not the man I was since this surgery. I have constant feelings of total loss of my identity and manhood.

    Am I alone in feeling this way?
    Wackadoodle responded:
    I went threw it, and I still am every once and a while. I had my prostate removed going on eleven years ago. Let's face it. I lost my best friend. I went from a stud to a dud. I went through all the stages of grief. I was really angry for along time. One can't talk to anyone about it unless they have experienced the loss. I still miss my prostate from time to time, but I just keep telling myself it's better than the alternative. Hope that helps.JMC
    autoharper responded:
    These feelings about ED, and all the other side effects of this RP surgery is something probably 80% of PC patients encounter and live with.
    I had my RP in 1990 and I thank God that I am still around and even though my PSA is again on the rise, I am 79 and still in good health, with no symptoms.
    Sex is a big part of most peoples lives, and changing your outlook on it is difficult, but manageable. These things would be different, or vary for each individual.
    Best wishes and a MERRY CHRISTMAS to all.
    Basir U Tareen, MD responded:
    There are always steps you can take if ED is the only issue. It all depends on how important it is to you and how aggressive you want to be. If oral medications, penile vacuum device, or injections are not enough than you may want to speak w/ your urologist about an inflatable prosthesis. This typically has a very high patient satisfaction and for many men is a significant improvement in their quality of life and regaining control of their identity.
    Wackadoodle replied to Basir U Tareen, MD's response:
    I use the vacuum device. It works fine. It still does not replace the original system. It takes time, but it works. JMC
    sportsman responded:
    My surgery was about 3 weeks ago. You are definitely not alone. I am going through a period on confusion, depression, and the feeling that I "am not whole" anymore. Mentioned it yesterday to my wife and she really unloaded in me for feeling this way. I think it's a "she doesn't get it" thing. Trying to keep my chin up and concentrate on the positives instead of the negatives, but that doesn't make it go away.

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