Relationships and Coping Community

A relative seems to do way too much with his girlfriend and her family, like spend weekends with horrible people, that he really doesn't want to. I'd actually like to know the family more, but I remember once the night before he was headed to one of the most violent parts of the world, there was a get-together for him, and because her family was getting anxious about the time, he ditched me. He later called and told me nobody there was mad at me. I kicked the "wet floor" sign clear across a corridor where I work and asked him what the hell they could be mad at me for. Mad at me for being ditched? Not that I was too worried he wouldn't, but he did get back safely.


He goes to see her a lot, and never tells me even when we have plans. I can always tell when he's going, and still he always beats around the bush. He says he's satisfied, but for one, he's fascinated with my own sex life, always asking if I've made plans for call girls before I travel, and after I get back how that went. According to him I had more sex in one weekend than he does in a typical month, and I hope if I ever had a girlfriend myself, I wouldn't be so fascinated with someone else's sex life. I'm uncomfortable answering some of these questions after a while. His girlfriend did cheat on him once, but I don't know what that was about. He stupidly tried to rationalize it, and I did call him a wimp for that, and unfortunately, I believe he thinks if they split up, then he has no other options. I don't want him to snap, like sometimes I think he might after more of this, but I really think he needs to get mad.


My aggression has its own misery, but it wards off other kinds of misery. I may not believe I could have a girlfriend, but at the same time, unlike him, I don't believe in being jerked around, and I won't jerk myself around. A tall leggy blonde I briefly knew offered me her number once, asking if I would keep in touch because she thought I was a really cool guy. I was excited, thinking she was cool too, and called her at some point. She seemed excited to hear from me, told me she'd call me back on a certain day, and didn't. No matter how excited I'd been, and disappointed I was, I didn't call again because there's no way I was up for playing games. For him, I don't believe his current girlfriend is the only option, and that there are probably a few women in his circle who'd be glad to go out with him.


He asked me to bail him out the other night, as her plans he'd gone along with left him without food, so I pulled up and then bought him dinner. There's also the job he hates with the people he can't stand, and the health issues I don't think he's putting much effort into, but in short, I'm tired of all his negative tirades, none of which end in him putting his foot down. I'm not a good listener, not after a certain point anyway, and he'll get upset with me for telling him how badly I think he's handling all this. I've tried encouragement though and I've offered help, which doesn't work as usual, on anybody, so I'm done with that. It's Christmas time for God's sake, but I feel the only thing I can do for both of us is lay out. Why can't he do anything better for himself and why does he just want to complain all the time?