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Long distance relationship
cadd77 posted:
I started a relationship with someone when they lived in the same area as I do. We were dating for about 4 months at the time he took a job over 2000 miles away. He claimed that the job was good for his career, finances, and would help him find a job back in our area. Originally, when he told me he was moving, he said he didn't want to lose me, and that he would begin looking for a job back here as soon as he got settled in his new one. He works in executive management, and is not willing to take a job that he is over-qualified for to come back. He's applied to one or 2 jobs since he's been gone, but has not had any offers. He has now been gone 6 months. We're making things work, but I find myself teetering quite a bit on how long this can go on for. We talk on the phone almost every day, skype, and see each other about once (for a weekend) every 4-5 weeks. I feel like our relationship has a lot of potential, but this distance thing is a huge barrier. How long do I stick it out for? When do I know enough is enough?
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
Long distance relationships, as you are finding, can be very difficult. You may find some help in how to stick it out in my blog entry Staying Close When Your Loved One is Far .

As for when you'll know enough is enough, I don't think there's a formula (unless it's an abusive relationship, which it sounds like this is not). You simply have to feel it and know that you've done all you can (and are willing to do) to make the relationship work.

Good luck.
dsmith33 replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
Im in the same boat Cadd77.. Its so difficult dealing with the person you truly care for be so far away. My boyfriend plays baseball is away a majority of the year. I see him once every 3 months for a weekend. I dont want to make it all about me though, so back to you, If your having doubts take a surprise visit to see him. It shows your willing to take that trip even if its for a weekend. The hardest part of long distance is the fact that you physically cant be with each other and it sucks. No need teeter if you care for him. Trust him and care for him, if it doesnt seem right to you then you know what you have to. You need to be able to know when enough is enough.

Thats all I can say for you.... Best of Luck I hope it works out too.....

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