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    Losing a Friend
    Anon_11642 posted:
    Hi - I just wanted to share something - I think I lost a friend - I was always doing the calling etc and I finally called her up 2 days ago and asked her if she wanted to get together - and she was hemming around with this and that - she works full-time and know she is busier than me and just kept it up - 1 hour for her lunch hour wouldn't be enough she said which I know is not true - I live in a very small town of less than 5000 people - there are no lines etc. Then, I mentioned that I didn't want any gift for Xmas as I didn't need anything and why don't we just forget the gift exchanges which she agreed right away - no problem there.

    So, in closing I just said - I tell you what - after Xmas lets get together and when you are ready just call me. She agreed.

    OK - think that is the end - I don't expect to hear from her - friends aren't important to her - she had told me once I was her only friend - you may remember my posts - she has a husband who is home and retired and old and just waits for her to come home and weekends are spent with him shopping, etc.

    Anyway, this happens in life but I hate to lose a friend - she obviously doesn't need me in her life - she has no time for me nor desires to spend a little time with me. We do our own thing - I don't want to walk outside anymore because of weather here - it is very undependable - so work out at a fitness center instead so now we never see each other anymore and she probably doesn't need another "stressor" in her life.

    Anyway, thanks for listening - feel better after sharing my frustrations and hope that is ok to post here anonymously.
    DmndLife1984 responded:
    I read this.
    Sorry, forgot my pen.
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
    Feeling that you have lost a friend is hard -- sad. So I understand your distress. Hopefully, your heavy heart will lighten soon as you turn your focus to people and things that make you happy. Take care. (And, yes, it is perfectly ok to post here anonymously)
    dfromspencer responded:
    I feel so sad for you. I know how you are feeling, i lost my buddy Joe recently, and i still mourn his loss. You will feel this way for some time to come. It is not easy to lose a friend, no matter what kind of friend they were. I wish there was more i could do, but ultimately, this is on you. Follow Dr. Becker-Phelps advice. Use those people, or things that make you happy, till you get past this.

    Posting anonymously helps some to open up, and get the answers they need. Anything that helps, is a good thing!

    Take care, and best wishes,

    DmndLife1984 responded:
    I hope you're well since when you posted. I'd replied to let you know that when you'd shared your frustrations, they hadn't gone unacknowledged, and over the past few days now that's been even more true.
    Sorry, forgot my pen.
    Lefty2121 responded:
    I hope you are in better spirits just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmass and a Happy New Year! We all care for your well being and hope things are going better for you.
    sunflower1943 replied to Lefty2121's response:
    Yes - am just accepting whatever is - the ball is in her court and see if she calls - if she doesn't - will let time pass. Life is too short - I have other friends who like me and two kids too so I am counting my blessings during this season.

    Most of us have a lot to be thankful for - feel sorry for all those little angels that were killed - the only thing I can think of that will help these families are each other - they need to support one another and have weekly meetings or whatever -

    Life is never perfect and some friends do disappoint - but that is all part of life. If my friend's husband were to pass - she would realize things a little differently but now is just very busy with her job and him.

    Merry Christmas and hope the new year brings us some joy and peace. Thanks for responding - all of you are very sweet - glad I have somewhere to go.
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to sunflower1943's response:
    I'm so glad you could take to heart all of these responses; taking in the good that others have to offer is just your ticket to feeling better. Be well, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and my wishes for increasingly more happiness & warmth in your life.

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