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    wedding jitters & marriage surprises
    green_archer_24 posted:
    i'm getting married to my girlfriend of 4 months this coming friday.. i am 27 & she is 22.. we're both really excited but at the same time really nervous about the coming wedding day..

    she came from a 2 & half year relationship prior to us being a couple & i came from a 2 year single-blessedness..

    we really love each other that's why we decided to get married this early in our relationship.. but still, the nervous feeling is there.. we can't eat.. we barely sleep.. i'm having stress diarrhea.. she's having gas..

    we would really love to get some tips on how are we going to get through these wedding jitters and how to face the surprises marriage and married life is about to throw to us.. thanks guys!

    - j
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
    One of the best ways to handle the jitters or any other struggles in your relationship is to talk it through with each other. Share what is making you want to marry and what is causing you concern. Discuss different options for how to handle your concerns. Particularly given that you have not been dating that long, you will want to seriously consider whether you are truly ready to marry; or whether you would benefit from waiting a bit longer. If you are committed to marrying, then do what you can to reassure each other. Best of luck to you!
    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi, -J

    Its only natural to have the jitters. Don't worry, everything will be fine! You both have to be willing to share your concerns with each other. Communication is the key to serenity! I just made that up, but its sooo true! LOL! Talking to each other, will help you far more than anything else. If you are spiritual, go talk to the leader of your church, or whatever you practise. Talk about it with your parents, they have been through it already. Talk it over with any married friends you may have.

    I hope this may help? And, i wish you both, all the happiness in the world!!!!

    green_archer_24 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    Thank you Dr. Becker-Phelps & Dennis for your responses..

    We've been actually talking to several married family members & friends, asking them for advice regarding this matter.. Some are a bit skeptic because we're not yet dating that long then all of a sudden we're getting married.. Some are happy as finally both of us would finally have our own happily-ever-after story.. We also prayed about our relationship and the married life that we're about to enter.. We have different religion though but that's really not an issue..

    We both understand that married life is not the same as typical boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that whenever we wanted to get out of it, we can.. (we're not from the United States by the way and the country we're from doesn't have divorce hence we don't have that option if things get out hand..) We give marriage a very high regard given the fact that both our parents and their parents are still together through all these years..

    We still have our fears and concerns mostly about the things that might come our way once we start with our journey as a married couple.. Yeah we haven't been together that long but one man's story might have a different ending for others.. As what my cousin who counselled us earlier said, compromising is one of the keys to a successful married life.. We're still both young and still has a lot of learn when it comes to life.. But after this, we are not just going to live our lives for ourselves.. We have to compromise for both of us..

    The start of our journey to married life and to forever would soon start.. We wouldn't know the other things that life would offer us.. I'm glad that guys like you are here to offer your words of wisdom for us young people who's only starting to carve our own life's paths..

    Again, thank you for your advices.. We only have roughly 36 hours before exchanging I do's.. Wish us luck!

    dfromspencer replied to green_archer_24's response:
    Hi, Mr. and Mrs. J

    By now, it must be congratulation time, so, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

    I so hope all went well! Now you start the life's journey together. I am so happy for you both! And yes, compromise is a biggie in any relationship! As is communication! Two huge keys, right there. Remember to always give some space, and encouragement to each other, in anything you do individually, or together.

    Best of luck to you both!!!!


    P.S. Sorry this is late, i just got the notice today. (Notice for following this post) Good luck!
    green_archer_24 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    hi dennis!

    thank you for the greeting.. 5 days into marriage and my wife and i found out that it's not bad at all.. LOL.. we spent Christmas with her side of the family and it feels really great that we get to spend the holidays together..

    we also both love the feeling of our wedding rings on our ring fingers that we don't take them off except if we have to take a bath or use the bathroom.. LOL..

    anyways, we wish you happy holidays and have a blessed and bountiful 2013 to you and your family..

    - Jabel & Angela
    dfromspencer replied to green_archer_24's response:
    Hi, Jabel and Angela

    Thank you for comming back, and keeping in touch! I am soooo happy for you both! I hope your new wedded bliss lasts a lifetime! Enjoy each other, in all that you do.

    Happy Holidays, and best wishes for the New Year!!!

    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to green_archer_24's response:
    CONGRATULATIONS!! I wish you both a happy, healthy new year and a happy, healthy lifetime together!
    Lefty2121 replied to green_archer_24's response:
    Congrats!! I was curious to why the rings come off at all? Are they not sized right that they would come off in a bath?
    fcl replied to Lefty2121's response:
    Ditto. Many of us never take ours off at all. The only time mine was ever taken off was when I was in intensive care and the doctors were worried about swelling ...
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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