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Parents and In-Laws
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Anon_11642 posted:
Hi - just curious if any of you out there are hurt when your kids favor their inlaws instead of us the parents. I'm sure it happens in a lot of families.

Anyway, I just found out on facebook that my daughter was in this big city - We had seen her before Xmas and she never mentioned she was going with the in-laws - I knew the in-laws were coming after we left but never mentioned they were also going to this city.

We were there a total of 24 hours - in-laws came and are still with them after Xmas and almost New Years.

You see, these are the things that affect me and these are the reasons sometimes I get depressed and am now - going over to son's house in a bit for soup - only have 2 kids - but anyway - I guess I have to accept what I cannot change - I am who I am - I can't be somebody else - my daughter's inlaws are "hep and fun" - we probably aren't but anyway I told her via text message I didn't see anything wrong in me mentioning on facebook that I didn't know she was in this city.

Anyway, thanks for listening - am down now - doesn't take much to make me feel that way these days but after soup at son's house maybe I'll feel better. Just got done working out.

I know my daughter never really liked me too well because I am a very nervous person and suffered with anxiety and still am working on it all the time and can't help it even though I've done my best in raising her - she turned out fine - but I know her in-laws are #1 and we come who knows where after that.

Am glad I can vent about this without my name and do appreciate your ears. Glad we can do this at this website.

Happy New Year to all of you.
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so. Family relationships are often less fulfilling and less close than people often want -- so you are definitely not alone.

The best ways to cope are to try to talk through the issue (really trying to listen to what she's telling you), looking for ways to bridge the gap; to look at the situation differently (e.g. being "hep and fun" isn't everything - maybe there is something just as important that you do or can offer); and/or to accept the situation, looking to fill your life in other ways such as with your spouse (sounds like you have one), your son (are you close?), or other people.

These situations are often very painful, so my heart goes out to you. I hope you can find improve your situation, or at least find peace.


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