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Is it okay to stay close friends with him even tho we broke up?
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sylviacute1 posted:
I still have feelings for him, my feelings for him are still the same. and i asked him if he still has feelings. he said i guess nothing really changed. WE still have feelings for eachotherrrr, but we still hangout and talk and i don't know when its just me and him he gets all huggy and cuddly and all that. but on December 21 he told me hes not ready to get back with me, and he doesn't want to get back together anytime soon and that maybe we can start new and fresh. But he still ask me to go hangout and stuff. and yeah. i do want him back. but i also want to take it step by step. for me to get him back. like baby steps you know? i want us to work thru this together. i dont want us to rush into things..
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
In all relationships, it's important for both people to be comfortable with how the relationship develops. If this is meeting your needs, then it sounds like you are on a good course. Just be sure to check in regularly with yourself to make sure that you are still happy with it -- that you aren't kidding yourself about being happy for fear of losing him if you want (and push for) more.
 
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green_archer_24 responded:
just give him more time.. he's still probably doing a raincheck on his feelings for you and your relationship after what happened..

don't pressure yourself and don't push him too much with you wanting to get back together..

if he said that you two start fresh, it might be better off that way.. you had trust issues and it's very hard to regain that again..

friendship is a good start in rebuilding your relationship.. take it one step at a time.. inch by inch, you'll get to your destination.. stay happy..
- J
 
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dfromspencer responded:
Hi, Sylvia

Like the other's have said, take it slow. You are both so young yet, you have your whole lives ahead of you. Don't rush into a relationship he clearly is not ready for. Hang out, enjoy each other's company. In time, if he is as ready for a relationship as you are, he will let you know. Relax, whats the hurry?

Its a new year, try starting a new relationship with him? One that is based on solid communication, and good ole friendship.

Good luck!!!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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fcl responded:
Given his answer to you about not wanting to get bck together anytime soon, I'd assume that he doesn't want to get back with you at all and that he's letting you down gently (he may also be keeping you around so he can have a FXB if he needs one ...). I don't think he realizes that giving you false hope is much more cruel than actually breaking up with you. If I were you, I'd turn down all his requests to hang out and assume it's entirely over. If he really IS still interested in you he'll come after you.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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fcl responded:
It's OK but what is the point. He said he didn't want to get back with you anytime soon - in my experience, that means never. He may just be trying to let you down gently or he may be trying to keep you around so he has a FWB if he needs one ... Of course you want him back, the breakup was pretty recent, right? What was the reason for it? How long were you together?

If I were you, I'd assume it was over and refuse all of his requests to "hang out and stuff". It's not helping you get over him. Walk away and get on with your life. If he's really interested in you he'll come after you. If not, well at least you won't have wasted too much time moping over him.

Good luck.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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fcl replied to fcl's response:
OOps - I answered twice. OP, I'm not trying to browbeat you it's just that my first answer didn't appear at all so I posted again!
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.


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