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Attention: The information provided in this forum is intended for educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Can You Still Be Friends?
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
Some people think that they can remain friends after their romance ends. Others are sure that this won't ever work. And, of course, there are people who simply don't know.

In my opinion, part of the answer resides in you and your former partner. Your beliefs and desires guide your relationships. And, if you pay attention to your genuine, deep inner experiences, they will tell you whether a friendship with an ex is healthy.

What are your thoughts and experiences in this area?

If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my The Art of Relationships blog, click here .

Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
tlkittycat1968 responded:
I was able to be friends with an ex for a number of years but eventually, I ended the friendship because I felt he used me for sex a few times without wanting a relationship.

I think it would depend on why and how you broke up. If it was an amicable break-up, I think a couple could still remain friends. I've heard of divorced couples double dating with their ex spouse when they both started dating other people.
dfromspencer responded:
Hiya, Dr. Becker-Phelps

I don't see why you couldn't remain friends? As long as you didn't end it due to extreme anger for the other?

I was hurt by her cheating on me! There is NO way i would want any kind of relationship with her after we split up! Oh, i forgave her, but i never got past the hurt, or the trust issue. I don't care that she's the mother of our children. I can see my kids when i want, they are adults now. I don't have to, and i never want to see her again! Why should I? I've come to believe she never really (truely) loved me.

Excellent question!!! I can't wait to read more responses!

BalconyBelle replied to dfromspencer's response:
I might be able to be friends with my ex...but I'd say we'd be more acquaintances than anything else if forced into each other's company. Our breakup revealed quite a few things about his character (or lack thereof) that I find distasteful--with what I know about him now I don't want to be around him.
tlkittycat1968 replied to tlkittycat1968's response:
I'm also friendly with an ex I occasionally see. I don't see him on purpose, but we work in the same area of town so I'll occasionally run into him when I'm out and about. We'll hug and chat for a bit but that's it. I do tell DH so it's not a secret.

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