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So there's this guy I like
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hannahj488 posted:
I really like this guy at work but I am so nervous around him. I really want to ask him out but I am too nervous to do so myself. I don't wanna wait around for him to ask me. I know he's single so that's good. He's really nice and attractive. I've liked him since the first day I worked there and I've worked there 6 months. But, I don't know if he likes me back. It's been awhile since I last dated anyone. The last guy I dated for 3 years and in the end of our relationship he turned out to be quite a jerk and started being abusive to me. I was wanting to ask him out for Valentine's Day. I don't want him to think I'm creepy or a stalker or anything. I really like this guy and have for quite some time, but not about to wait around for him to ask me. Do you know of any creative way for me to ask him out?
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ThomasJ197438 responded:
Yup just go up to him and say something like hey i was going to go out a get something to eat wanna come or get something to drinkif you can try a lunch date type of thing
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
I'm just seeing this now, so obviously I can't help with Valentine's Day; but I'm curious to know if you invited him out.

If not, you can still do it. People sometimes find it helpful to lessen the pressure on themselves by thinking that they'd just like to get to know someone. It's not like you are looking to marry him now; and he could turn out to be a jerk like the last guy; so, really, this is just a bit of exploration. As part of getting to know him, you can spend time chatting with him at work - if you still like him and have developed somewhat of a friendship, it might be natural to move on to going out for lunch or something.

Still feel too hard? If so, maybe you can share more of what's making this so hard for you.
 
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rohvannyn responded:
Something that I've found helpful in the past is to remember that the other person I want to talk to probably wants to make friends with other people just as much as I do. Most folks are looking for friendship, and the person you like may be as shy as you are. Good luck, and I hope you make a new friend. Then, maybe more!
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ


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