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Relationship advice
klaz143 posted:
So I have been dating someone for the past year now. When we got together I knew he was married, but he was going to be getting divorced. He also has a 1 year old daughter. Here are the issueshe moved out of his house last December and things were great, but in April his soon to be ex told him she has breast cancer. He decided to move back into the house so he could help take care of their daughter. I completely agreed that he should do that. Well he was about o move out in Septemeber, but it seems his daughter got very sick. The doctors I guess still have no idea what is wrong with her. I just dont know what to do, I love him and I want to support him, but it is very diffcult for me, it just seems like things keep happening.I dont know when he will be moving out. we were supposed to move in together this coming June, but everthing is so up in the air. I want him to always be there for his daughter, but i think he is jsut afraid to leave her, like he will never get to see her again.
Orchid22 responded:
It appears to me that he simply making up excuses as to why he cannot leave. First his wife gets cancer, then his daughter gets very sick? And doesn't know what's wrong with her? I find his stories a bit tough to believe.

Please do what you can for yourself and get out. I know you love him and care for him, but he is already showing you what comes first: them.

I wish you the best....
fcl responded:
He is seriously stringing you along. He started dating you around the time his daughter was born ... what kind of a man steps outside his marriage when his child is born?

Youi should have realized when he moved back home that he wasn't going to get a divorce. Why should he suddenly worry about his daughter? And even if he did, there are many divorced fathers who have sole custody of their children. He could also have helped with his daughter without moving back into the marital home.

It's now been 5 months since his daughter got sick - do you really think the doctors don't know what is wrong?

I hate to say this but he's using you. He wants his wife and he wants you on the side too. You are enabling him to cheat. Is that what you want from a man?
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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