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Why do I get so jealous sometimes?
CosmoEM posted:
I've been with my fiancé for two years, we have a child together. He did have a child with his last girlfriend, who isn't ugly, but not gorgeous, and a little on the frumpy side. He is a very faithful man and we have a good relationship. I do not think he would ever leave me for another woman or anything like that. I don't get jealous when he works with, talks with, or is friends with other girls. But for some reason when I see or think of his ex I get really jealous. To the point I don't want to be with him. It wasn't this way before, but has been for the last year. Her mom has old pictures on her Facebook of them, not kissing or anything, but I get upset when I see them. I also get jealous when i recall the things he has told me about past relations with others. don't want to feel this way, nor do I think I have a reason to. What is my deal!?
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
Sometimes people who have been cheated on before worry about it in their current relationship even when there aren't any signs that they should worry.

Also, often, people who feel jealous in one relationship have a history of feeling jealous in other ones. The reason in those instances has more to do with what that person carries inside than about the current relationship. They often struggle with feeling flawed somehow or unworthy of love- and so they fear being rejected emotionally or flat out left. As a result, they often try to cling to their partner, feel jealous, and/or feel angry with their partner (who they think is cheating, might cheat, or might/will leave them).

Perhaps you can relate to one of these situations?
dfromspencer responded:
What reason, if any, has he given you to be jealous? Did he cheat on his last girlfriend, or were they separated befor he started dating you? If he was already parted from her, then I see no reason for this jealousy?

You are putting this in your own head, no one else is. Stop with the negative thoughts! Think positively for your situation here and now.

"He is a very faithful man, and we have a good relationship". Who said that? You said that, now believe it, befor it destroys this new relationship!!!

Good luck!!!

Kloudnine responded:
I think maybe the reason that you are finding yourself getting a bit jealous is because he has a bond with this woman through their child. Not saying he has feelings for her, or anything of that nature, but they will always be connected in that sense. It doesn't help that you see old pictures of her on his mom's Facebook, but then again, he has no control over what his mom posts, or has on Facebook either. I have been in your shoes, and I can understand the jealousy. It's not that you want to be, but sometimes you can't help it. I know that my issues stemmed from my ex not making a commitment to me, and he was married to his ex that he had kids with. Is there anything else going on in the relationship? Are you having any problems?

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