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Art of Relationships:
What If My Partner Doesn't Share My Faith?
Why Avoiding Conflict Can Cause Problems

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Marriage counseling
An_251234 posted:
I don't know of any truly good communicators. Moreover, I believe that really good communication in a marriage setting is even more rare (read: divorce rate).

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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
You cite the high divorce rate as evidence that good communication is rare. Though I'm not exactly sure what the rate is now, I do know that there are also high numbers of people who remain married (not a rarity) - it could be that they have good communication.

As for marriage counseling, for it to be effective, it must do more than improve communication; it must also help couples to interact in more positive ways.
dfromspencer responded:
I'm not sure I agree with you? Communication, or a lack thereof, is the leading cause of divorce? I would rather think it would be irreconsialable differences? Too many get married too young, and don't really take the time to really get to know whom they are marrying. I would also put cheating in there. Most people talk to each other, its more the way they talk, or not comprehend what the other is trying to say, that causes problems. We let anger cloud our judgement. Too many fall out of love because they never really knew what love is. We go into marriage expecting everything to be perfect, and when it isn't, we don't understand why.

Another one I've observed is the "He isn't the one I married" syndrome. Its all to easy to fall in love with some prince charming, only to marry and find out he's really a frog. People will put on acts while dating, so its pretty easy to fall in love with someone they are not.

I always cringe when I hear of some couple, around the age of 18 getting married. 9 out of 10 will end up in divorce. That's just from my observations.


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