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relationship, it will last???
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An_251758 posted:
am married for almost 8 years, i don't know if how i describe the man i had and loved,.. he got too much sins from above, having many cases and being jailed too for a months due to getting items being stole by his friend, cases include homicides,reckless driving imprudence and many more, too many problems that he made and all of us had think for him, for his bail and everything, we have two kids already, he is also an asset of the policeman for a drug syndicates, users and pushers and now this time i think he is doing this vice then i saw his paraphernalias of drugs and he never lied about it, he said he is withdrawing then already, but i sum rumors that he is selling too.i just think of my kids then i had a plan already, that if he will be caught again for any bad act, we will stow away with my kids and he will not going to see us anymore.. do u think i got the right decision... anything??

i just don't like to think for a broken family, but can't fix this anymore, i used to talked to him every time, and still the same thing..i dont trust him anymore, do u think i do still love him??

i got no feelings anymore, sumtyms...

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fcl responded:
Do you seriously think that keeping your children in this situation is good for them? Didn't anyone ever tell you that children would rather be from a broken home than in one? You don't trust this man, he's regularly in and out of jail, he does drugs, possible sells drugs and you want to keep your children under the same roof as him? Really??? Whether you still love him or not is immaterial - you should put your children's wellbeing first!

I think you're looking at this the wrong way round. you're thinking of a solution to a problem that you'll use WHEN the problem happens. I think you need to be pre-emptive and find a solution to use BEFORE the problem happens. If your husband is prosecuted for possessing drugs, you stand to lose your children. There's no point in thinking of running away with them when he goes into jail if they're already in foster care... So... go to your nearest women's shelter immediately and find out what your options are to get out. And then get out and take your children while you can.

You are worried about a broken home when your husband's behaviour could blow your family to smithereens.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
You sound like you are in a very bad situation. And, it sounds like you have decided (with good reason) that it's not good for you and your children to stay with your husband. When you worry about creating a broken family, you might want to think about the ways that it's already broken because of your husband's behavior. You did not create this. Also, as you think this through, consider how you can create a good future for your children and yourself -- a future life in which you can feel safe and secure and happy.

Many people in similar situations have family or friends who they can turn to and rely on for help. If you have supportive people in your life, strongly consider asking them for help - guidance, encouragement, and anything else that you might need.
 
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rohvannyn replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
Someone once told me that when you stay with a bad or abusive spouse for the sake of your children, the only thing you are teaching them is that it's okay to stay with a bad partner. Do you want your children to learn that it's okay to stay with a drug using criminal? Whoever your husband used to be, he's not that person anymore unless he really wants to change and fix his own behavior. No one can make him change, and you could get into serious trouble, lose your children or even your life if you stay. Please take care of yourself.
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
 
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dfromspencer responded:
I won't pussyfoot around a polite response, GET OUT!!!

What he has done is ruined your family! There can be no love left, if you are here asking. You yourself said you have no feelings left for him, so, why stay?

Do what the others have said, seek out help, and find It befor its too late!!!

I wish you all the best!!!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!


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