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8 Benefits of Happy Relationships
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
8 Benefits of Happy Relationships


It seems appropriate that today, Mental Health Month Blog Party Day (courtesy of the American Psychological Association), I address the benefits of having healthy relationships. If I had to pick one area of focus to help people feel happier, that would be it.


Below are 8 reasons to find, nurture, and endure the ups and downs of relationships:


  1. 1. Social support in life.
  2. 2. Help you become the person you want to be.
  3. 3. Provide a ready opportunity to be caring toward others.
  4. 4. Fun and fulfillment.
  5. 5. Offer a sense of being part of something bigger than yourself.
  6. 6. Reduce Stress.
  7. 7. Facilitate better health.
  8. 8. Associated with longer life.


So on Mental Health Month Blog Party Day, my advice is to think about these benefits. How have you experienced them in your life? And, are there other benefits you've enjoyed from your relationships?




If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my The Art of Relationships blog, click here .


Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
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dfromspencer responded:
Hi Dr. Leslie,

I hope everyone takes the time to read the whole blog, befor posting their own responses.

All I can say is, I agree 100%!!! Each and every component you listed is indeed a part of your daily social life.

I wish I had more of a social life. I keep trying, tho. It is starting to seem like, no one wants to be friends with a cripple. Even tho now, after exersizing for the last three or four weeks, and walking so much better, still it seems they would rather get away than stay and talk. That's ok. There are some friends out there, I will have to find them.

Thank you Dr. Leslie, this whole series of blogs on relationships has been a great help to me! Thank you!!!

Take care!!!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to dfromspencer's response:
Hi, Dennis. I'm glad to hear that you keep trying. I know this is a challenge for you, but I'm glad to hear that you are being persistent. Many people find it helpful to focus on and appreciate the friends they have - even if just one or two people- and build from there (both strengthening those friendships and/or finding new friends, at varying levels of closeness). Please continue to let us know how you are doing on this front.
 
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dfromspencer replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
Hi Dr. Leslie,

If there's one thing I am good at, its persistence! I told you I quit smoking, and started an exercise program, and I am being very persistent in that!!! I know I shouldn't, but I cannot seem to help myself, I workout twice a day, every day! I know that's not good for muscle recovery, but I can't seem to stop myself, it feels soooooooo good!!! And, if I may toot my own horn, I am starting to look good, more muscular again!!! And that big gut I had, is slowly fading out of existence! I can actually see ab muscles again! YEAH! GO ME!!! LOL!!!

I realized the other day, I do have some very good friends! Even one I feel like its more than that, more like family! Not quite like Joe, but very close! Its too bad he lives in Minasota, so not close enough to see on a daily basis. When we do get together, its like home, you know? Family!!!

I'm just sooooooo glad that you were here to guide me along!!! I know for a fact that, if I had not met you when I did, things would not be so good for me, right now!!! I don't know where I would be, if you hadn't helped me? I thank you every day, even if you don't know it!? Its too scary to even think about it! I am sure it would have had white halls, and plenty of PRN to go along with it!!! Scary, I told you so! LOL!!! Yes, I do thank you for this freedom, freedom from anxiety, freedom from enmity, that was a biggie, let me tell you! You gave me the tools I needed to free myself, from myself, and I cannot thank you enough!!!

You gave me self talk, and boy howdy, does it work!!! I quit smoking, and started exercising just like I needed to!!! Self talk is amazing!!! Thanks to you, I am free, I am out there, and loving every minute of it!!!

Dr. Leslie, I simply cannot thank you enough!!! I could say that for a million years, and it still would not be enough!!! Thanks!

Take care!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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rohvannyn replied to dfromspencer's response:
Just a quick word... I'm so happy to hear of your successes, Dennis! As for the exercise, you could always alternate your muscle groups so as to give yourself rest, but not have to give up that endorphin rush... looove those brain created opiates! When I work out sometimes I tell people "I have a drug factory... in my BRAIN!" Working out feels great. Congrats on staying off tobacco, too. That is really awesome.
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
 
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dfromspencer replied to rohvannyn's response:
Hi Roh,

This is great, I feel better now than I have in a very long time!!!

You are right about the split routine, I do that every day, and I can't stop! I work the upper body first, then the lower body. Later, in the afternoon, I have to do it all over again, or I am not happy! I don't know why this is, and I called my doctor for an appointment, but, as soon as I set down, I feel soooo tired, and just want to fall asleep? I've been forcing myself to take a day off, every three days, and when I do, I just want to sleep. I have to stand up, walk around, or I fall asleep. I was getting worried, so I called my doctor. I should be having way more energy, even on my day off, right??? Oh, don't get me wrong, its not immediate, but if I sit there for any length of time, its on, I get so sleepy!!! I'm hoping I am not wearing myself out? Any suggestions??? My appointment is Tuesday the 28th. Can't wait.

Oh Roh, I too am sooooooo glad I gave up smoking!!! I have way more air now, than I did just a month ago. My doctor asked me if there was any trigger I could think off that would send me over the edge? I told her NO WAY was I smoking again!!! Plus, as good as I feel right now, there is no way I want to plug up my lungs again!!! I think that, that just may be why I exercise so much, now???

Ohhhh Yeahhhh, gotta love that drug factory in the brain!!! I hope you won't mind if I use that one, myself???

Take care, Roh, talk to you again, soon!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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rohvannyn replied to dfromspencer's response:
Ha ha, you can use it if you want! As for advice with your fatigue, make sure you are supporting your body nutritionally when you work out. Keep up your protein levels, even if it's just a couple hard boiled eggs. Every little bit counts. Make sure you are getting good food and good vitamins. I find that limiting my carbs helps me be less tired, bread and potoatoes make me sleepy! Vegetables, fruits, lean meat, nuts, eggs, soy, beans in moderation, they can all help you. Actually, better nutrition is what helped my spouse to quit smoking. Her body wasn't missing so many nutrients so it helped the cravings. It helps support your mood, too, and thus makes you healthier so you have happier relationships.

Glad you're still doing great!
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to rohvannyn's response:
Roh, It's great to see you supporting Dennis in taking such good care of himself!

Dennis, I'm really happy that my advice and the support on this board are so helpful to you. Keep up the good work! And when you slip or find yourself struggling - which we all do - let all of us be here to support you, then. As for your friend, I hope you make plans on a regular basis, even if it can't be daily. Also, I hope you are continuing to 'get out there' doing things that put you in contact with others, making new connections.
 
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dfromspencer replied to rohvannyn's response:
Hiya Roh,

Oh yes indeed, I make sure I have my protein! I have been eating Tuna Fish, the kind packed in water, like crazy! One can has 11 grams of protein, not bad when you have eggs for breakfast, and protein bars for snacks. I love fruit, I eat one can daily, when we don't have the good fresh fruit. Veggies??? Every day, also! Except for the potato's, I limit them to twice a week. My favorite veggie is beets, I just love em!!! Oh yes, I most def watch what I eat, especially now! Still not smoking, and working out like crazy!!!

I am glad your spouse quit smoking!!! I'm still coughing up flem from my lungs, but soon, I hope, I will be breathing like a champ? Already I can walk farther, do more, and sit a lot less!!!

The doctor said she is not worried about my heart, or anything else. She thinks i'm in pretty good shape, for a 54 year old man. Plus, she say's she can see a lot of difference in muscle tone, just from the last visit, which was only three weeks ago. Cool, eh??? I can surly see a difference! I feel soooooooo good, now!

Well, better go, I have to answer Dr. Leslie yet, and go for my walk! Please take very good care, of you, and your spouse!!!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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dfromspencer replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
Hi Dr. Leslie,

Oh yes indeed, I am still out there, and loving every minute of it!!! And you can count on me, if I need your help, or that of the community, I will surly ask for it!!! I am no longer bashful in these communities. Thank you, very much!!!

Yes, I am still working out, not smoking, and taking a walk every day. It seems the farther I go, the more people I meet? I don't get that, for sure, but I like it!!! Just yesterday, I met Vicki, a semi retired ex librarian. She is so cool!!! She invited me over for iced tea, that's when I met her hubby. Dang it! She sure is cute!!! Her hubby is cool, tho, he has an old firebird in the garage that he is restoring. It already looks better than the one I had in California, back in the 70's. They are both 67's, pretty awesome coincidence, eh? Yeah, Rogers ok!!!

So, you see? All that help you have given to me, and with the help of my friends like Roh, I've been doing sooo much better!!! And I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart!!! Thank you all!!!

Wow, I've changed the charactors, without even knowing how??? HMMMM??? Well, anyway, I have to get going on my walk.

Please take good care, Dr. Leslie!!!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to dfromspencer's response:
All great to hear, Dennis. Keep walkin' and talkin'
 
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rootbeerfloat replied to dfromspencer's response:
Hello DfromSpencer,
I decided to read other persons post about issues they have been having and came across yours from 2wks ago.
That's great about quitting smoking, you do feel sooo much better don't you ? I know I do.
As for the exercising I commend you on your persistence. This is an area I'am finding difficult. I stopped exercising in October to deal with a bursa in my Achilles and was told Not to exercise. After rehab now I can restart. So, I did, but find it difficult/sad to get motivated and exercise everyday for....... Who? Why?. I know I should do this for me if no one else but still, I have someone who should notice and doesn't. I REALLY am trying to get in a better mind set with it. Exercising 2x per day would work for me also, and like Roh said I also could work different parts in the afternoon.
Not having friends/social life is difficult but I have to believe there are better times to come.

Keeping on being a positive, inspirational person D ;}
 
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dfromspencer replied to rootbeerfloat's response:
Wow, this is fantastic! I just answered your post on the other one, about your hubby not being interested, anymore. Wow.

Oh yes you should!!! You should work out for yourself first, then maybe someone else, second!!! You, like me, we are at a time in our lives that, we have to work harder at keeping in shape. It is something I think must be done, in order to have any quality of life to go on with, you know? Especially our legs, and lower back, just for getting up, and walking. I think the whole body should be kept up, now. I am looking, and feeling so much better, I don't think I will ever want to stop??? It is your body, don't you want it in good shape? (I hope you said yes)?

Thank you for your interest in me, and WELCOME to the community!!! This is the place to go for help, that's for sure!!! And talk about support? Oh yeah, you will get plenty of that here!!! So, fear not, talk to us, let us be your friends, we will always be here for you!!!

Trust me, there are better times to come, I can feel it!!!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to rootbeerfloat's response:
Getting healthy is one of the best ways to improve your life -- physically, mentally, and emotionally. So, it's great that you want to get started again.

I just responded to Dennis's comment about exercising and not smoking on the other thread. And I think you might want to consider what I recommended to him there. So that you don't have to find it, I said: "People often find it helpful to recognize the length of time they've been keeping up with a change -- kind of like when AA members earn 90 day coin or token. If you think it would help, you might want to post a new discussion on a regular basis (e.g. every 30 days) to 'commemorate' you not smoking or continuing to exercise on a regular basis. If you lapse at some point, you can share that, too, and get support for resuming exercise or being smoke-free. Just something to think about."

Could be that you and/or Dennis doing this would not only get you support and encouragement, but might also inspire others in a similar way. It could also help you feel more connected; something everyone needs.


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