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    falsely blamed
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    An_251989 posted:
    How can I convince my bf that I have no desire to engage in an occasional sexual fling when he isn't present? He claims it's human nature in all of us to want sexual flings sometimes when tempted. I'm physically satisfied in our relationship and think a fling would be repulsive and annoying.

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    fcl responded:
    It's also human nature to be faithful ... There are some who are cheaters and the rest are not. Personally, I would see this as a really big red flag. From what I've seen on these boards over the years, those who accuse others of cheating are often guilty themselves. Turn the situation around and ask him straight out if HE is indulging in sex with anyone when you are not around ...

    If you love and respect someone, you may be tempted but that doesn't mean that you will succumb to that temptation.

    Yes, the problem is him.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
     
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    An_250877 replied to fcl's response:
    I agree! It sounds as though he may be insecure(perhaps been cheated on before), or is trying to lead with a "loop hole" from a monogamous relationship.
     
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    rohvannyn responded:
    I agree with the others. I could be wrong but my first impression is to ask if he could be trying to feel you out for your reaction to him straying from the marriage. He may not have done anything yet but it sounds to me like he wants to. There are some folks who can't understand a constant desire to be monogamous, for them it's strange and alien. An honest discussion about the needs you both have is in order, if he'll do that. I really don't think you need to convince him that you would be faithful, but rather convince him that it's important to you that he is. Unless you are okay with an open relationship, in which case, play safe.
    Roh

    'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ


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