Skip to content


Attention: The information provided in this forum is intended for educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Self control
rohvannyn posted:
Has anyone here actually managed to stop their subconscious mind from affecting their actions? Is this something that cognitive behavioral therapy is supposed to correct? It seems that many times my instincts are inappropriate to the situation.

As an example, I am in a certain way predisposed to behave in a fearful way whenever I am uncertain, even if I'm not really afraid. According to others, my face looks fearful and I have fearful body language, even though I don't really feel afraid. I also tend to be resistant when challenged in my behaviors, at first, and it takes some arguing before I can bring myself to listen. Then there's the automatic self-devaluing I tend to do when I'm not being vigilant.

Does anyone know any good ways to start deprogramming myself? I think of it that way because at times my subconsious mind feels like an enemy, trying to undermine me and my relationships. I know that isn't true but that's how it feels. The answer I've been given is "just take control, it's not a complicated answer, just do it." Maybe it's simple but I just can't see how. In this matter, I feel lost and hopeless because I don't see a way out.

I'm going to repost this a couple of places, I need all the help I can get. This is threatening my marriage pretty severely as well as my own ability to cope with life. It seems like the more I try to calm down and deal with things rationally, the worse the symptoms get.

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
dfromspencer responded:
Hiya Roh<

Hey you are a very strong person, and you can master control over your subconscious mind. I think the key is mastering your conscious thoughts, and focusing on that during the day? Then, when you are sleeping, your subconscious remembers that, and hopefully, your conscious/awake mind will follow suit?

Now I am no Psychiatrist but, I have done this, and it has seemed to work for me? Sort of like my self talk, I keep repeating something over, and over till it sinks in. After a few days of this, its like it comes natural to me? So, give it a try, and see if it works for you???

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.), comes in mighty handy during this process. At least it does for me? I have to have my mind in the right place, no distractions, or light, or any sound, (if at all possible), and then I concentrate on one thing, only! A picture, whatever you like, I even used a die once, feeling all six sides over and over till I was in the right mine set. Try it, it will work!

Well Roh, my friend, I hope this helps you, as much as it has me??? Good luck to you!!!

rohvannyn replied to dfromspencer's response:
Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. I'm going to do some research on CBT as well as other things. I've been trying to exercise more as well just to keep me in the right mindset.

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

Featuring Experts

Dr. Becker-Phelps is a well-respected psychologist, who is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotio...More

Helpful Tips

Relationships and Coping Community recommended resourcesExpert
About a month ago, I asked the community here to suggest resources for finding a therapist. They suggested: Psychology Today's therapist ... More
Was this Helpful?
15 of 22 found this helpful

Related Drug Reviews

  • Drug Name User Reviews

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.