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    Free Your Mind
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
    I recently came upon this quote:

    Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?
    -- Robert Brault

    I like the quote because it captures a common struggle: People often live so much in their heads that they lose sight of other perspectives and experiences in life. And they erroneously come to believe that thinking about life is the same as living it.

    With this in mind, it can be extremely helpful to regularly ground yourself in the reality and experience of your mind-body self. Some ways to do this are to refocus on your present experience when you find yourself uselessly ruminating; focus regularly on your bodily sensations; exercise to keep your mind and body nimble; and exercise your imagination.

    What do you find helpful in getting yourself out of your old, tired, and limited ways of thinking?

    If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my The Art of Relationships blog, click here .

    Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi Dr. Leslie,

    My oh my, was I ever living in my head! Ruminating over and over, and over again about things I couldn't possibly change. But, thanks to Dr. Leslie for giving me the keys to freedom!!!

    Exercise not only your body, but also your mind! Keeping your body fit, also helps to keep your mind fit. I like crossword puzzles, and reading books to keep my mind sharp.

    I am now experiencing things I've completely forgotten. Going outdoors, and actually stopping to smell the flowers, and feel the sun on my skin. And by walking around the neighborhood, I get to meet different people, which also stimulates the mind from conversation. I could go on, but I have an appointment. So, see ya later!!!

    Take care!


    P.S. I have to see my P.M. Doctor in Sioux Falls, S.D.
    Have a great day, all!!!!!!!
    den51 responded:
    am really trying hard to let go, i want to be free, i am reakky scared to be hurt over and over
    den51 replied to den51's response:
    I am sorry for the outburst, I have just become very upset with the way things have been going since i got out of the hospital. i really felt very strong when i got out, i felt like i has a real chance, but the events going on around make me so angry, instead of having a wining way of thinking, i have a defeated one, i am not responsible for everyone and the way the do things but i am responsible for my own, i really grateful to you and the others for listening, i will still do the work that i need to do but the self hate is making it really hard
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to den51's response:
    I'm glad to hear you are still doing the work to help yourself. I hope your therapist is guiding you well in this work and in helping you to be kinder, gentler, and more understanding of yourself.
    dfromspencer replied to den51's response:
    Howdy Den51,

    Hope today is better for you than yesterday!!! I'm sorry, I didn't catch your "outburst" till just now. You are strong, you just won't let yourself be strong! You let these others you talk about, guide your thinking, and feeling. You don't have to let them, you know? You are an adult, and as one, YOU control our thinking, and feeling, ok??? Once you get that into your brain, you won't be needing our help, anymore!

    Get yourself into a nice frame of mind. Think only of yourself, and forget those "others", you speak of. They no longer matter in this frame of mind. In this frame, you are on the top of the world, its very nice up here. Don't you feel the warm sun n your face, and the slightly cool breeze blowing? Ahh, its wonderful up here, you can do, or say anything you like, YOU are in command!!! YOU can feel any way you like, up here! Up here, in this frame of mind, we are ALL happy! No one telling us what to do, or how we should feel, NOTHING! You get to dictate to those others up here, so go ahead, tell them off! Tell them everything you want them to know, to understand, and then, make them go away for awhile, so you can enjoy this lovely day!!!

    Remember what I said about self talk? Practice that, not just when you feel bad, but every day. Soon, you will be the master of your own world, once again!!!

    I wish you peace!!!

    gd9900 responded:
    When I find myself ruminating or stuck in limbo, I have to force myself to realize that its almost always because logic and happiness are stonewalling each other. That's when I have to put the kids in time out and allow my gut to guide me. Only then does peace prevail.

    den51 - I'm sorry for the difficulties you are having. I believe the opposite of fear is love - not hate. When we love we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and compassionate. Hate is a by-product of anger and both are destructive emotions to give way to. Love is a choice as is fear. Take your journey one day at a time - or if needed, one hour at a time. Know you are human, and we humans make mistakes - learn from them and keep walking on the path to a better you. Be patient and kind to yourself...that's a great place to start. Wishing you well my friend.
    gd9900 replied to gd9900's response:
    I meant to say "the opposite of love is fear - not hate"
    An_252977 replied to gd9900's response:
    I feel trapped in mine, i get up every day to the same heartache, mistrust and self hate, i can not relate to people no matter i do

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