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    Dr Phelps can i ask you something?
    den51 posted:
    I have been lucky to have such a wonderful therapist that has stuck by me through everything in the last two years, but he is getting up there in years. he has days once already. so the next time will be when he retires. i do not want him to stick around after that. i cant do that again come this far then have to start all over with someone one else I canot relate to people no matter how i try. you see i have lived though every type of abuse there is and i am still here. I know how to forgive that is he easy part. but forgetting is the bigger step that i cant get past. i ignore it , it casing me to make more makes in how how i relate to people. how do i break free from this once and for all. i have paid my dues.thank you for listening
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
    I'm not sure what it is you are asking me. However, I do hear that you have serious concerns about your therapist retiring. I hope you and your therapist are talking about these - if not, I strongly suggest that you bring up the topic and talk about how to handle this situation.

    In the meantime, healing is not really about forgetting the bad things that have happened in life. Rather, it is about coming to terms with them, finding positives in your current life, and creating a life going into the future that makes you happier. I truly hope you find a way to make progress in each of these areas.
    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi Den,

    I'm sorry for butting in, but I had to offer something.

    Its like Dr. Leslie says, you can't forget, and its not about forgetting, it IS about the here and now!

    You have to make the best of your situation! You have to find things right now that make you happy! You need to persue those things right on up into your future.

    Do you remember this saying? "We have to make the best of our situation"? Well, this is where you have to do that! Remember, this IS your life, and no one else's! No one else is going to go out of their way to make you happy. Its up to each one of us, to make the best of our situations, and try to enjoy our lives! As I asked you before, what do you like to do? What is it that makes you happy? Do that!!! Do what ever it is that makes YOU happy! Stop worrying about what the other's might think, or care, or want for you, SCREW THEM!!! Do what YOU want to do, and that makes you happy!!!

    I want you to be happy!!!

    Again, I am sorry for butting in!!!

    Your friend,

    den51 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    Dennis. you were not butting in . i value your advice. my emotions are raw about what has happened ,between that and having no trust. i have had my issues with the people on other boards. no one talks to me anymore. i have been playing this game that lets me be who i am not. this ios what i am trying to work out
    dfromspencer replied to den51's response:
    Hi Den51,

    I don't know why you would want to play games with your life? Unless its some kind of therapy? We have to be true to ourselves, and be who we are, not some actor playing a role. That is why I hope this is role-playing for therapy?

    I've learned from many different people, and in many different places that, you just have to be you, no matter what.

    So, is this role-playing for therapy? Or something i'm not catching on to?

    I hope you are feeling fine today? I sure am, I cannot wait to get started on my workout!!!

    I have to go now, you take care!!!

    Your friend,

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