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Art of Relationships:
What If My Partner Doesn't Share My Faith?
Why Avoiding Conflict Can Cause Problems

Attention: The information provided in this forum is intended for educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Get Your Relationship Out of a Rut
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
All relationships lose steam at some point. The naturally occurring passion that had once driven them seems to burn out. However, you can keep your relationship alive and healthy by attending to it.

There are many ways to do this, such as doing novel activities together, keeping romance in your life, doing physically activities together (physical arousal heightens attraction), keeping your sex life interesting, and sharing in an interest. Of course, these are only a few ideas.

What do you do to keep your relationship alive, healthy, and energized? Or, what have you done to 'resuscitate' a relationship?

If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my The Art of Relationships blog, click here .

Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
sluggo45692 responded:
Let's see. Between 2 jobs (I'm 3rd shift, she's 1st shift) Her parents (mom dementia/dad bed ridden) Boys scouts (I'm Scoutmaster) 4H (She's advisor/10 turkeys,10 chickens/Fair) we get about an hour to ourselves during the week. We try to do everything together. On weekends, we spend Sunday afternoons together. I have suprised her with flowers and little treats.(Her ex didn't) I had 20 years in medical field and can provide some personal touches to her life. (when we get an evening alone and no exhausted) No matter what we tell each other "I love you" at least a dozen or more times a day and try to show each other that love. Last week we even watched a 2 hour movie together. We held hands through most of it. Every little touch and look has to count. We know we are not getting younger (both 50) and we have been through long crappy marriages. We are going to enjoy each other and life. Period. That's how you get out of a rut. Kick your self in the pants and get out. We're not perfect, but we keep trying.You have to remind yourself why your in a relationship. Then make it better.

I had a fellow at work, who told me once, If your with the most beautiful woman for 20 years, you'll get tired of having sex with her. I laughed in his face. You'll only get tired of it if you want to get tired of it. Being with you SO is a blessing and a glorious thing. You have to make it work. Every day you both have to show how much you care for the other. That will keep you out of ruts. That's my feeling on the matter. Good Luck All
fcl replied to priyanka741's response:
Seriously? If your relationship is suffering from misunderstanding it would be far better to communicate with your partner.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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Dr. Becker-Phelps is a well-respected psychologist, who is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotio...More

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