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Gain her trust again?
An_253006 posted:
How do gain back your wife's trust. No physical cheating happened. I don't even know if I would say cheating. I texted an EX and know she feels she cant trust me because I didn't come right out and admit it. We are old friends. I apologized numerous times even changed my number. I love my wife and want to get past this
fcl responded:
If the texting was as innocent as it seems (i.e. not "sexting") I would say that your wife needs to work on her own insecurities. The way you worded your post makes me think that your wife checks your phone and then grills you about who you call. Please tell me I'm wrong...

Does your wife object to you talking to other women or just your ex? Is your wife controlling in other areas of your relationship or just about this?

Frankly, an apology should have sufficed. Changing your number is going above and beyond the necessary. What does your wife think you should do to regain her trust? Have you ever given her any reason not to trust you?

Sorry for all the questions but a bit more background would help...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
Like FCL, I have many questions that would help in being able to address this.

I wonder about whether this issue is the only one -- or if it is part of a bigger problem(s). Are there other instances of mistrust or a history on either of your sides that would explain her problem with this?

Also, I wonder about your situation with your ex. Was it just one text or more? If it was more, how extensive was your texting? And, what did you mean by saying that you didn't come right out and admit it. Did you just not mention it? Or, did you deny it, or somehow avoid mentioning it when an obvious opportunity arose?

With more information, I'm hoping that we can support and help you.
rohvannyn responded:
Whether you did something innocent or not, I would say the first thing to do is be open about it and ask her what you can do to regain her trust. Then do it. If you can't do it, and she's still being mistrustful or unreasonable, then your relationship might need more help in other areas too. To me that's the best starting point.

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

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