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Not sure what to do.
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Anon_179226 posted:
My husband and I have known eachother for 3 years. We met in Sept2010 and were friends for a few months before we started dating. After a few months of dating we moved in together and shortly after that found out we were pregnant. I'm 23 currently and he's 24 (soon to be 25 in December). At the time we moved in together I was 20 (going on 21) and he was 22. Our son was born November 2011 and we were married May 2012.
Recently now he's started to really frustrate me. i'm almost to the point where everything he does is an annoyance. He likes to play video games a lot and rarely helps out with the house and our son. His brother lives with us and takes care of our child when we're both at work because we can't afford child care. My husband works different shifts so there are days he's home with his brother while i'm at work and i hear that he plays games and leaves our son to his brother to take care of.
He states he only plays when our son is asleep, but I know that he's not quitting as soon as our son wakes up. My husband ususally works til midnight and then is up til 2 playing video games and I get up at 630 for work and can't even say good bye to him half the time as he's fast asleep. We also don't have much time to connect as a couple. He feels his gaming isn't an issue. I'm becoming more frustrated. I used to play video games myself (in fact that's how him and i met) but my son became my priority. He said that after our son arrived he wasn't going to play as much. It is still a lot (he has toned down some) but it's enough to interfere with our relationship. I don't think he sees it that way.

What can I do? He never texts me, rarely calls me when we're not together. I don't feel any appreciation from him. That's another complaint i've brought up to him. I have other guys tell me i'm beautiful but he is the one i'm married to and he never says it. He states i should just assume that he's thinking that because he is married to me.. but it's not enough.
We fight about these issues once a month..and it's a big blow-out.

PLEASE HELP ME!
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hnichols20 responded:
when men get stressed out they have to find a way to relieve the stress. My husband also played video games and I felt alone a lot. But I didn't nag him about it cuz I wanted him to be happy. Find a way for you and him to bond without yelling at him. Like see if he want to play video games with you or maybe something more intimate might work. He will get used to doing more things with you and later find out that he enjoys hanging around you more. Its very normal for that so dont' be upset about it guys find it hard especially with a kid. Be patient and let him do it he will come around. As far as helping around the house just ask him nicely if he will do a couple of things to help you out. Most men cannot take a hint trust me I have been married for 7 years and my husband still cannot get the hint. Anyway good luck and if you love him some things are worth putting to the side and are not worth the fight.
 
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sluggo45692 responded:
Working 2 separate shifts always causes problems. I work 3rd and my gf works 1st. We get to spend 2 nights a week together. It SUCKS. 2nd shift is the worst. You get off work late and can't whine down for a couple of hours. As you know, when gaming you loss all track of time. But all of this is not an excuse to ignore your family. I understand having family help with the baby sitting. HELP, not take over. Have a disscussion with your husband. Plan a day you and he can talk. Bring a list of topics you want to discuss. As hnichols20 stated, Men don't take hints well. I know I don't . At 25, your husband should be more instrested in playing with your knobs and buttons, instead of a gaming system. TALK to him. Don't shout, whine, or throw things. Figure a day you both can sit down alone and talk it out. By the way, my opinion: your husband is an arse. He's missing the best thing in the world. The early years of his family. He can't get that back. No pictures can take the place of watching your child's first steps and the look on a young wife's face when she's watching it also. Good Luck


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