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    It has been a while but i need this
    dem53 posted:
    had no where to turn ,so i came back to where if that is ok? recently i have had some more relationship issues with my family tha5t has caused me more self hate, nuw i have to content with my son having a untreatable medical issue ,but not life threat issue, and now i have my own medical issues to deal with, my t is still around but he is booked up until the end of the year, but i get to see him thanksgiving, he told me that ir he had an opening he would keep me tops on the list. he does not what has happened but i left him messages to tell him about it
    dem53 responded:
    how do i deal with my medical iss ues when i do not like who i am?
    rohvannyn replied to dem53's response:
    Perhaps, by thinking of dealing with those medical issues as a way to create a better you? No matter what, you can always think about how your ideal self would deal with things, and then try to act that way.

    Welcome back!

    'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
    dfromspencer replied to dem53's response:
    Hiya Dem,

    What? What is this "I don't like who I am" crappola??? How can you not like yourself, when you are your own biggest fan??? Ok, just kidding, a little. I hope it is not as bad as you make it sound? You son is old enough to deal with his own problems. He is a big boy now. You need to deal with your own problems! Stop trying to be "Everything" to everyone else! Let them worry about themselves, ok? YOU, need to be "EVERYTHING" to YOU!!!

    I thought we made a deal to love ourselves? I did, anyway. I guess you didn't? I thought we decided to forgive ourselves for not being able to help each and everyone who needs help??? I did, I guess you forgot? We simply cannot help everyone, every time! We shouldn't even try, it would make us crazy for sure!!!

    Try to relax. You are stressing yourself over other's problems. That is no way to live your own life! Do live your own life! Never let other's tell you how to live! I wish there was some way to get your Therapist to see you sooner? Thanksgiving is a long way off, yet. There should be someone else you could talk to, when he is busy!!!

    Try what Roh said. Handle this like an ideal you, would handle this! What would the ideal Dem look like? How would she handle this? Would she be kind and caring, or a take no prisoner type? Perhaps something in between? Think about that, then run some scenario's in your head. Which one would be best for any situation? Then, you know what to do. Just do it!!!

    I am so glad you came back!!! I have missed our conversations!!! Stick around this time. You never know what might happen, who may have your answer? What else do you have to do? Even I check back in at least every other day.

    Again, I am so glad you came back! I hope this helps you, or you find an answer yourself?! Good luck, take care!!!

    Your friend
    dem53 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    thank you f everyone, it was not on for a while because i trouble logging on. u will be foing for a operation soon because they found something on my cat scan , they think i night have cancer, this us wonderful group of people and i thank you all from my heart
    Anon_953 replied to dem53's response:
    I'm so sorry to hear about the possibility of your having cancer. That must be scary. I wish you well. Please let us know how the operation goes.
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to Anon_953's response:
    FYI: I accidentally made my last comment anonymous.
    dfromspencer replied to dem53's response:
    Oh Dem, I am soooooooo sorry to hear this!!! I had to wait to comment, I couldn't see through my tears! Please tell me this isn't so?!!! This cannot be happening to another friend of mine!!!

    So, this operation is for what? Is this one to get a sample of tissue? Or, is this one to take it out? No matter which one it is, I hope it turns out well?!!! You never gave a date? So, none of us here know which day to send out our good vibes for you? No matter to me, I have already started to send them, and will keep on doing so, till I hear there is nothing more to fear!!!

    Dem, I hope you know that today, these types of operations are routine, and nothing to worry about? Please do not go into this with any fear! All of us here, will be with you, if not in person, then in spirit!!! OK? So, fear not my friend!

    I hope you can get logged back on, so you can tell us the date of your surgery??? That way, we can concentrate our good vibes for you!!! In the mean time, come back on and have some good conversation with me/us. Ok? I have missed our little talks!!!

    Take care! I hope to hear from you soon!!!

    Your friend,
    whispers23 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    hi, everyone, i am sorry i did it again, i forgot my email again so i had to do it again signup, I have to growths on my ovaries, one is bigger then the other .they are going to take it all. which is fine, i am 52 o am done having kids, my medical history is not all known, i dont know if that type of cancer is in his family, thatis why they have to treat it like i might have cancer, i have two more tests to take before they know when they can decide to do it, amazing i think not knowing about my dad bothers me more, the choices we make in relationships. how we do things effect others, you are so sweet Dennis
    dfromspencer replied to whispers23's response:
    Hi Dem,

    Well, its a good thing it is being taken care of! You never know about that stuff? 52 is still young! At 54, I feel like I am 34. It just takes a little exercise. The weather is starting to go south on me, so not much walking. But, I can still do lots of things inside! Anyone can!!! The more "In Shape" you are, the less time it takes to heal.

    What is it about your dad that bothers you so? If he is gone like mine, keep the memories fresh. Think of him often, even if that particular memory isn't very nice! My dad wasn't perfect, but he sure tried! Even the not so good memories of him, still bring a small smile to my lips!!! I am so glad I got to know who my father was! I didn't have that pleasure with my mother. My mother and I had just started talking to each other as adults, and then she was gone! Just like that, we can lose them. Always tell the ones you love, just how much they mean to you! Tell your children how much you love them, and tell them often! You never know how long you might have them, or them you?!

    Dem, please keep us informed on when the surgery is? And do not be afraid to come around once in a while to say hi!!!!!!!! OK? Cool!!! Keep in touch!!!

    Your friend,

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