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Overcoming anxiety
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Anxious1 posted:


Is there any way to overcome a specific anxiety? I know that I have small penis syndrome, but I don't know how to get rid of it.

I am on medication for general anxiety and am doing better as a whole. But this is one I have had the biggest struggle with.
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dfromspencer responded:
I used to worry about that myself. After being with a few ladies, I was reassured I was very normal. Actually, some told me I was above normal, but only by a little. You don't need to worry about penis size, women don't. All you need to do, is be a good lover! Be very attentive to her. Giver her plenty of foreplay, and when she is good and ready, that is when you want to enter her! She won't even notice how big you are!

Trust me, if you get her all hot and bothered, she will not even notice your penis, unless she wants to pleasure you?! In that case, just relax, and let her have at it! Don't worry about your size, worry about the pleasure you are feeling!!!

If you can make a woman come, she is not going to notice your penis. Relax, and go with the flow! She will be happy, and so will you!!!

Just remember this, if she is all hot, and ready to explode, she will NOT notice how big you are! And, if you are very attentive, she won't care how big you are, ever!!!

I hope this will help you relax, that is all you need to do, relax! You are not deformed! Maybe small, but dynamite come's in small packages!!! Right? Right!!!

Good luck, Bro!!!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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Anxious1 replied to dfromspencer's response:
With me, it is not really a worry from inexperieince. Let me explain.

My wife and I have been married for over 20 years. We have a very happy marriage.

I have come to believe this "syndrome" is caused by some incidents which happened earlier in my life. I was bullied a lot as a kid, including the shower rooms in gym class where comments were made about my size.

Also, my first sexual experience was horrible. I was strongly peer pressured into it by my girlfriend who wanrted to have sex when I really didn't want to. We were on a "double date" and the other couple with us were having sex several feet away. The guy was my girlfreind's former boyfriend who she had been intimate with. He was a larger than I was. Eventually, we broke up because of the sex. I was just not emotionally ready to handle that as a teenager.

For me, it's not just a case of being very nervous before sex (and that still sometimes happens), but everytime I hear a joke about size or comment about it, I suffer from these very strong attacks of fear and doubt.

People think saying "size matters!" is a joke, but it's not to me. It's like someone sticking a sword through my heart.
 
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sluggo45692 replied to Anxious1's response:
Congrats on 20. Your doing something right or she wouldn't still be with you. Look at your self through your wife's eyes. She doesn't see a penis, she sees a man. A man who has been there and with her for 20 years.

I understand about horrible past and stupid peers. Everytime you think of that "girl", remember she a woman now and isn't in your life. My ex wife did a number on my self confidence so bad I couldn't get it up with meds.

I had to release that anxiety and realize there are women who want to be with me. I found a great gf. She likes me for me, not my penis. You have a wife you found 20 years ago and still with. I believe that should play into your thinking.

Some guys are jerks and think you have to be swinging below the knee to satify a woman. These are the guys who are making up for their own short comings. It's an excuse, because most of the time they can't satify a woman. You know you can and have for over 20 years. That is where you draw your strength. The only person you have to impress is YOUR WIFE OF 20 YEARS. Just keep doing what your doing. It sure seems to work for her. Good Luck
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
Yes, there are ways to overcome specific anxieties. Also, given that you are anxious enough to be on medicine, then I also suggest that you get therapy. So, I suggest that you find a therapist who is experienced in treating anxiety.

However, before you even try to find someone, take some time to list out the different kinds of situations or topics that elicit anxiety -- this will help the therapist help you. Also, doing this might help you fully take in that your issue with anxiety isn't really about your penis size - there's an underlying anxiety problem that is coming out in different ways, such as with this concern.
 
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dfromspencer replied to Anxious1's response:
Hi again,

I just wanted to say something to you that I discovered myself, when I was young. I too, was bullied in grade school. However, I found myself facing one of my "enemies" while he was alone. I got mad, and I think he saw it too, cause he was all nicey, nicey to me. I could have cared less, at the time anyway, so I lit into him like a buzz saw! Needless to say, the other one was all nicey, nicey to me from then on! The bottom line is this, a bully is nothing but a coward, that has to hide his own short commings with a buddy who also suffers from the same! They had to team up, in order to terrorize me. But when separated, they were just afraid themselves.

We all face anxieties throughout our lives. Its how we choose to deal with them that matters. There are some great people on this board that also know what you are going through. You see how fast they came here to help? They have some great advise for you. I think Dr. Becker-Phelps has the very best one for you, I hope you take it?!!!

Congrats on the 20 years, you must be doing something right? I only made it fifteen! Good for you!!!

I wish you all the luck in the world!!!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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Anxious1 replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:


Thank you. This is very helpful!
 
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Anxious1 replied to dfromspencer's response:
Sluggo and DfromSpencer thanks for your words of encouragement!


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