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What's your opinion, rough patch or cheating?
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Anon_596 posted:
A couple who've been married 9 yrs, somewhat turbulent, blended family, empty nest for last 3 yrs, husbands children (son now 26, daughter now 23) lived with couple for first 2 yrs (daughter moved in with her mother) and off and on 6 yrs (son bouncing from roommates-couldn't keep a place). Wife's daughter, now 29, lived, and still does, in a city 4 hrs away, never with couple (husband resented, jealous of wife's daughter because she wasn't his). Wife was out of town, away from the home for routine Drs. appts for 2 days, upon her return she found out that her husband had secretively planned ahead of time to take the 1st of those 2 days off of work. When wife asked and then confronted the husband, he had little remorse, just displayed he was busted for doing so and then turned somewhat angry with her and created more distance. Wife is a caring, loving, devoted and commited woman, has gone out of her way to have a happy, mutually respectful marriage and to salvage what they have, she has gone to counseling, attended programs and has done alot of the self help reading and so on for the marriage. It was suspected that husband was having affairs in the past, even recent summer, along with husband flaunting to her 2-4 times throughout last 4 yrs that other women adore him. Why would she not think that he is cheating or having affairs, especially with recent developement, merely because she has no solid proof?
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
Whether or not he is having an affair, it sounds like there is distrust and/or negative feelings on both of their parts that need to be addressed. It also sounds like their thoughts and feelings regarding each other and their relationship need to be talked through if they want to get back on solid ground with each other. Given the longterm nature of their problems, they should at least consider going to couple therapy.


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