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Attention: The information provided in this forum is intended for educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for individual professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Stuck in Self-Pity
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
Self-pity can be paralyzing. A big reason for this is that you feel alone, different from everyone else in the world.

When you feel this way, a great antidote is to remind yourself that others have similar experiences. This can help you to feel like you belong to a greater humanity. It can help you feel whole and acceptable — even with your struggles.

If you have gotten mired down in self-pity, what exactly gets you stuck? And, how have you pulled yourself out of it?

If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my The Art of Relationships blog, click here.

Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
dfromspencer responded:
Hi again, Dr. Becker-Phelps,

I read this blog, then came over here to see if this was in response to my other post? Well, i'm not so sure, now? I did think on this topic myself, when I found my situation getting so frustrating. But the truth is, I am totally frustrated, yes, but mired in self pity, no. I'm not feeling down in the dumps, or anything like that, I am just as happy as I was three years ago, four? I did recently, go through my fathers death, but even that didn't ruin my spirits. I guess I am just about as happy as a man that has very few prospects in life, can be! I mean, I am crippled with chronic pain, and the meds I take, almost completely restrict the type of jobs I can do, if any?! But, I refuse to let the small stuff get me down!!!

I think I could go on, but that will have to be another post! All I can say on the subject of self pity is; listen to what Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps has to say, and you are guaranteed to feel better in moments!!!

Thank you for everything, Dr. Leslie!!! Take care!!!

Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to dfromspencer's response:
Dennis, I'm glad you are not mired down in self-pity. Keep up all your good work; I do hope you truly find it paying off.
dfromspencer replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
Thanks Dr. Leslie!!!

Oh, I do find it paying off! In big ways! I quit smoking, you know, and I started exercising and getting out more. By getting out more, I am meeting more people! And by meeting more people, I am having more fun! You were so right!

Plus, and this is a big plus, at least to me, I hardly ever use self talk when I put myself in front of a possible friendship, or maybe even beyond?! By following many different things you have tought me, life itself, has become a lot more enjoyable!!!

I still get frustrated when something doesn't turn out the way I had hoped it would, but hey, life still goes on, and I plan to go on with it!!! My shyness is just about a thing of the past. My trepidation of entering into new relationships, has eased tremendously!!! Now, when I am invited into a new love interest's house, I step boldly into a new experience!

When I stop, and think about all the ways my life has changed these last few months, I can't help but thank you, over, and over!!! This is all YOUR doing Doctor Becker-Phelps!!! How is a man supposed to thank the one who has helped him more than anyone else??? Just saying thanks, never seems to be enough?! I don't know how to thank you? I'm so sorry!!!

Take care!

Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to dfromspencer's response:
Dennis, Truly the changes you are seeing are of your making. I provided some advice and guidance. After that, it's all up to you. I'm just glad it's going so well for you. Take care.

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