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    A Strained Marriage
    An_254516 posted:
    I am concerned that my marriage is being threatened by wife's rigorous working schedule. She is constantly called upon to do work originally assigned to others. my wife claims that she needs to be there to ensure her position is maintained. I don' feel that way. I feel that her manager is plainly abusing the women under his employ and he could care less about my wife's personal life. There is a 21 month old child involved and the child needs both his parents at certain times and I can't being a new father perceive the problems ahead by this undue strain on our relationship. This is my first marriage and the second for my wife. We have been involved with each other for ten years. Now, I feel things are falling apart. What can I do to keep things together.
    sluggo45692 responded:
    I understand your concern about your wife not being there for your child and you. You say you have been involved with each other for 10 years.

    Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself.

    What has changed about her job?
    Can she change anything about her job?
    What are you wanting in your relationship?
    What do you think is missing?
    What do you think your wife is not giving to the child?
    Did her job get between her last marriage?
    Is your job getting between your relationship with your child?
    Is your job getting between you and your wife?
    Is your child's home life safe, clean, fed, and all it's needs taken care of?

    A person with a job in today's market has to be careful. Unemployment and closings have made jobs something to fight for. A lot of people will do the extra work to prove to the company that it need them. Even the government jobs that were always secure, you better make sure you justify your position.

    A 2 job household can cause friction and loss of time together. I work 3rd shift with no lunch and 1 hour drive and my gf works 1st shift with a hour lunch and 45 minute drive. I might get to see her an hour or 2 a day. Our kids are older with only a 16 year old at home. Lovemaking once a week if we are lucky.

    When I was married, I worked 2 full time jobs and overtime, because my ex wouldn't get a job to help. My gf's marriage was a 2 full time job marriage. It's tough. You have to work very hard at staying together. Both of our marriages ended with our spouse cheating on us. We are now very committed to staying together.

    Answer the questions above, then talk to your wife. Voice your concerns and work it out. If she's afraid to lose her job because she can't take time to come home, then why is she working? WHY do we work? To have a good life at home.

    My answer to my question about why do my gf and I go through this stressful time? I will get to 1st shift in a little while, so we do what we need to do for now. We are committed to make it work.
    fcl responded:
    Is this a recent situation or has it always been like this? Is the extra work a temporary thing or might it go on forever? Is she being paid for the extra working time? How many extra hours is she working exactly? Is her work stopping her from coming home? From seeing her family? Could you tell us a bit more?
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    dfromspencer responded:
    Sluggo has a lot of good points, but I am like FCL, I could use more info, before venturing aid?!

    Can you help us a bit more?


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