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    Bottom falls out of HOPE; more news at 11
    dfromspencer posted:
    Well, here I am again, bottom all shot out out of my hope!!! I thought everything was going so well? Then, just last night, right after a romp in the hay, if you will, she tells me I need to leave, and not to bother coming back, or calling?! W.Y.H.???

    I had no idea what went wrong, or what she thought was wrong? Everything seemed to be going along just fine? Now this? So suddenly? She went to the bathroom, then into the kitchen for what I thought must be a snack? I heard her fussing around out there, but I never heard her saying anything? When she came in, it was what I already said!

    I musta sounded like a loon? I stuttered and stammered till I was shoved outta the front door. I don't get it, I probably never will get it? I never had a chance to say anything during, or after the romp, so that can't be it? I guess I just wish she would have told me why? That is not too much to ask for, is it?

    I did try to call, even text tho, she said not to?! W.T.H. You can't leave me hanging like this, I put in the text. I sent it again this morning, no answer. She has to work today, this afternoon. I am going down there to see if she will at least give me a reason why???

    I have racked my brain all night, and so far, all morning, to no avail?!!! I can't for the life of me, figure out what it was I did??? She really needs to explain herself! She can't leave me hanging like this! Its driving me crazy!!!

    I guess I knew in the back of my mind this was just too good to be true?! A mid twenties lady and a mid fifties man? Come on, who really does that, except movie stars??? Maybe if I was rich???

    Ok, I am rambling on here. Any idea's??? Anyone???
    bigred53 replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Dennis I am so sorry to hear this. (I'm a lurker) Roh is right. Stay away from the immature B! She could twist things around otherwise and you would be in a world of hurt.

    You are such a caring man and it is a shame that you haven't found that special someone to share your life with. I wish I could get to know you in person but I'm in Cali and you're somewhere in the Midwest (I think).

    Anyway, don't dwell on what happened. Continue to look forward and improving yourself for you. I'm confident that you will find someone when you least expect it Or she will find you.

    Take care

    fcl responded:
    Gosh, Dennis, how awful! I have absolutely no advice to offer other than to say to chalk this up to experience and be grateful you didn't invest too much of your life in it. I've heard it said that we all date a handful of nutters before we meet "the one" ... Some of us got it over and done with a long time ago, you just hadn't finished your quota

    Sending you tons of transatlantic (((((HUGS)))))
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    dfromspencer responded:
    Hey, hey, hey, its me again!

    I never found her, I did however, run into a mutual friend. I told her what happened, she said she had seen her yesterday, and she was with her boy friend. I told her that I had thought I was her boy friend?! She said I was just a fill in, till her real boyfriend got home. HUH?

    Who does that??? Who would, no, who could do that to someone? I don't mean me, necessarily, but her real boyfriend??? How do you, hell, I am too dumbfounded to even phrase the question!!!

    A big thanks to Michelle, and FCL. for giving me their words of wisdom, and their words of encouragement!!! Thank you both!!! I will indeed keep on trying, who knows where the one is???

    bigred53 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    My dear Dennis,

    I'm glad you found out what a skank that girl really is. I'm also sad that she hurt you for no good reason only for her own selfishness.

    Please don't let it get you down as you did nothing wrong.

    Hey, do you like old, fat girls who like to have fun? Seriously, you sound like the type of man I could go for. Maybe someday we'll find each other. If not in this life then maybe in the next one.

    You take good care of youself and be happy with who you've become.

    rohvannyn replied to bigred53's response:
    Very odd! Both my responses disappeared. No matter, I'm sure they will pop up someday. Glad you finally found out what was wrong with her, and I'm glad you got out of that before something bad happened to you. You deserve better. Eventually her misdeeds will catch up to her but for now it sounds like she's being a selfish young thing. I hope she learns not to do that someday.

    'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
    sluggo45692 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    Hey Dennis,
    Sorry you were fill-in bf. I can see some positive points from this.
    1. At time like this, you have to think like a chauvinist pig.(sorry ladies) You got some. Take it for what it's worth. You didn't get her pregnant and end up with a life long commitment to her.
    2. You know for a fact you can please someone and can find someone. I know you've had dry spells and some self doubt. 3. So she was using you as a sex fill in. To me that means your sexy to women and she wanted you.
    4. You seen what kind of woman she accually is and you don't need to moon over her. You know your better off without her type.
    Believe me, I would have been right there in your shoes and would have done the same thing. Don't stress about her. Maybe the bf is the same and just steps out on her also. Let them live their lives and you only worry about number one. Yourself. Enjoy the good memories and forget the rest.

    She's the one who has to explain it to bf if he finds out. Let someone else tell him. Wash your hands of it and be done. You have bounced back for alot worse.
    Good Luck
    fcl replied to sluggo45692's response:
    I disagree, sluggo45692. I don't often disagree with you but this time I do.

    This isn't about being a chauvinistic pig. It's simply about drawing all the positive (lessons learned, fun times, etc.) from a potentially negative situation I consider this to be a good thing to able to do (and not sexist - lol).

    BTW, I really liked all the points you put forward. you're absolutely right, of course.

    Dennis, focus on points 1 and 3.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
    Hi, Dennis. I'm sorry this has happened to you -- and sorry that I didn't see this sooner. How are you doing?
    dfromspencer replied to rohvannyn's response:
    You and I both, Roh! I really do hope it catches up to her! She needs to learn some hard life lessons! Just as she has done to me, someone will do to her! And here I thought we were friends? Friends do not do that!

    Her boyfriend is also my friend. I never knew they were even seeing each other? He never said anything, and neither did she? Well, a little birdie told him of her (Mis) adventures while he was away. I don't know what happened, I don't want to know what happened! I just hope she learns how to treat her fellow human beings?! I don't wish her any ill will, no, I just want her to wake up.

    Thanks Roh, and don't worry about the other posts, I know you!!! I do hope you are treating yourself better, tho?!

    Thanks Roh, you are a good friend!!!

    dfromspencer replied to sluggo45692's response:
    Hi Sluggo,

    LOL!!! Yep!!! I agree to all four points!!! Thank you for pointing them out to me!!!

    I know she is doing some splainin right about now!!! Desi knows what Lucy was up to while he was gone. Some lil birdie told him? I wonder who that lil birdie is??? Twasn't moi? It could be our mutual friend? Hmmm, she is the only one who knew, could it have been her? Me thinks so tis?!

    Thanks again, Sluggo, your insight in terms of money, is in calculable!!! Keep on keeping on, my friend!!!

    dfromspencer replied to fcl's response:
    Hi FCL,

    LOL!!! I agree! Indeed I will take away all the possitives of this encounter, and run with it!!! I thought back to a time when I was young. This was my feeling. That I could do things like this, and have no repercussions! I never wore a condom, (I got sooooooo lucky) never had any problems. So, this is just where I was back then. I will take away the positive, there really was no negative, right? She can't get pregnant any more, her tubes are tied. I had a ton of fun in a really short time.

    I will take all the trans Atlantic help I can get, thank you very much!!! Ta Ta, my dear Friend!!!

    dfromspencer replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
    Hi Dr. Leslie,

    Actually, I'm doing very well! All my friends have come round to support me!!! They have all given me incalculable insight, and succor!!! And the best part is, they are all right!!! How do you thank friends when they rally around you? Yourself included, naturally!!! How do I thank all of you???

    I will have to do it this way, I suppose? I will have to continue down this path of self help, and enlightenment. Until, and after I am completely successful in my endeavors! In other words, till I have the life I want, and deserve!

    Every one of you, have given me so much help, so much of your time, and for all of that, I am truly grateful!!! Each and every one of you mean so much to me, I couldn't do without any one of you!!! My Friends!!!

    I am doing so well, and that is because you have cared for me, and I appreciate that, more than you will ever know!!!

    Yes, Dr. Leslie, I think I am doing pretty well, considering my status?! Thanks!

    Please take care!

    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to dfromspencer's response:
    I'm glad to hear it, but please continue to let us know when you struggle so that we can continue to help. And, you take care, too!

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