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    Making Your Holiday Happy
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
    Holiday traditions often give people a way of grabbing onto that happy holiday feeling. What traditions from your past or present provide you with that feeling? And what traditions would you like to start that you think would make for happy memories?

    If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my The Art of Relationships blog, click here .

    Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.

    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi Dr. Leslie,

    If we had some kind of tradition, I do not remember it. However, I made my own tradition; that was to go out of my way to be as helpful, and kind, to whoever was the host of the dinner! In other words, if one person was making the entire meal, and we were all gathered at her house, then I would be as nice to her and her family as I possibly could. And, I would always offer my services in the kitchen, or anywhere in the house as needed!

    When I was growing up, I always liked to help my grandmother peel potatoes, she called me her "Little tater peeler"! That is one fond memory I have not lost, and since all grandparents are gone now, I hold that memory close to my heart!

    I would like to wish everyone a most joyous Holiday Season!
    One filled with love, and happiness, and family!!! So, to each and every one of you, Happy Holidays from Dennis


    P.S. Thanks for putting this out here! It made me remember some pretty awesome Christmases!!!
    rohvannyn responded:
    Although I pretty much have given up on holidays for a number of reasons, I still keep a few traditions. I live far away from my folks and there is one thing we have done each year which keeps us close.

    My mom will write a story and send it to me. I will format it, print it out, and illustrate it. I'll send the proofs back, and she and my dad will put nice paper on for covers and string the bindings, adding little charms and such, and then mail them to the whole family. It's nice because we can work together on it, and afterwards I have a copy to keep, and the rest of the family (cousins and aunts and such that I don't have contact with) can also see our work and appreciate it.

    I can also look at the books from previous years and remember how I did them before. I put more effort into the book this year and I think I'll continue to do so. Even in the absence of much celebration, it's good to keep those ties strong.

    'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
    dfromspencer replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Wow, that sounds amazing! Being able to keep close by doing something together, now that is amazing! Thanks for that story, roh!

    We are both alike when it comes to holidays, they are just another day to me. How sad to lose the Christmas spirit from our younger days! I feel as if I have truly lost something inside, but I just don't know what "THAT" is? You know? Alas, and woe is me, and all that!!!

    Thanks again, Roh! Happy Holidays!!!

    rohvannyn replied to dfromspencer's response:
    I still have a certain amount of holiday spirit I suppose, but as an atheist I don't link it to religion. I think of the holidays as a time where it's socially accepted to be nice to other people and show my appreciation to them. Around home it's just another day because we don't want to deal with the expense, and because my spouse has too many terrible memories associated with the season. We did a festival of lights thing for a while but kind of gave up on that too. So I celebrate in my own little way, letting the people I love know I appreciate them.

    Know what has messed up the holidays for me the most? Not becoming an atheist... but over exposure and over commercialization!

    'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
    sluggo45692 replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Hey Roh,

    I totally agree with you. The ruining of the holiday season is Commercialization and Way over exposure of the you have to get everyone you ever met a gift.

    Here is the best gifts you can ever give anyone. A smile and your respect. If you give anyone a real smile, you will alway get one in return. If you give someone respect you should alway get it in return also. The second gift you may not get any return from the other person, but your return is how you feel about yourself. You did what was right.

    May you and your spouse have a wonderful holiday season. You may not believe in the religious aspects of the season, but always believe in the goodness the season represents. Make it a celebration of life and all we have. I know I plan to. Good Luck
    sluggo45692 responded:
    Hi Doc,

    May you and yours have a good Holiday season. I wish you blessings on your house and family.
    sluggo45692 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    Hey Dennis

    Still smiling, I hope. Hope you have a good Holiday Season also.

    I have to say most of my childhood memories of the holidays were of my mother's father and her brothers and sister arguing about everything. My grandfather and uncles were experts on everything from Social Security to welfare. They were right and no one could change their minds. The good times were when they started playing music. Grandpa and one uncle could play any stringed inst. My uncle couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but Grandpa had had a band on the radio for about 6 months in the 30's. When they got together, it was music from heaven.
    Dad's side didn't arguing. Women where in the kitchen, men in the garage, kids outside or front room playing. They were dirt poor, but OMG the life they gave to the seasons.
    Both sides could cook the most wonderful foods. I was the little fat kid and when you got the chance you filled up. Both grandma pushed the food on your plate.
    Both sides didn't go to church, but we all kept the season in our hearts.

    May the memories always be good and love be great. Happy Holidays.

    Good Luck
    dfromspencer replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Hi Roh,

    Sorry I didn't see this till now? Yep, I'm an Atheist also! I wasn't always, but after growing up in this brutal world, watching war rage on, and people being killed by the score, and all the other wonderful nasties foisted upon humanity!!! Then my mother being killed, children dying from disease, DISEASE??? Wouldn't this supposed "kind and merciful" deity, prevent all that??? I guess not? And religious people will tell you its Gods will. Gods will? To kill innocent children??? Hmm, made me give up on believing in anything but me!!! Oh, they would also tell me that we were made in his image? Really? Well, no one I know, would ever stand by and watch an innocent child just die, no way, we are going to try and save that child, just as any doctor would!!! HIS image, bah, I don't think so?! Sorry, I guess I really cannot understand worshiping something like that?!!! The only GOD I know, is mean, and evil, and murderous!!! No thanks!!!

    Yes, Roh, I agree with you on that, Atheism is the only real way! And I also hate the commercialization of what is supposed to be the birth of Jesus? All the advertising ruined it for me, long ago!!!

    Yes, I try to be as nice to others as I can thru these holidays, that's the least I can do!

    I hope you take this the right way, HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU, ROH, TO YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE, AND FAMILY!!!

    dfromspencer replied to sluggo45692's response:
    Hi Sluggo,

    Oh yes, I'm still smiling and having a good time right now!!! I may be coming down with something tho? My bro and his fianc?, and her children have all been sick, and I was up there for movie night last week, and nowww? Ohhh, not now!!! LOL!!!

    I had planned on getting together with them for X-mas, but now I just don't know? I may have to spend it in bed, snuggled up in blankets, with my Bubba at my side? Bubba is my pet rat, coolest friend ever!

    I want to wish you and your G.F. and both of your families,
    the very happiest of holidays!!!

    I wish you the best of luck!!!

    rohvannyn replied to dfromspencer's response:
    Hope you get over that bug quickly, Dennis. Eat some garlic. It's good for you. And give Bubba a pet for me. I used to have rats and I love them.

    I didn't take it badly at all. I wish you, and everyone on the board, the happiest of holidays. I don't even get offended if someone says "Merry Christmas" to me, usually, unless they are being offensive about it... they are wishing me happiness in their own way.

    To life, my friend! To happiness!

    'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
    dfromspencer replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Garlick, huh? I love the stuff!!! I put it on everything, well, most everything! LOL!!! Thanks, I will give Bubba a pet for you, so you like my buddies too, eh? Now that is awesome, you are only the second person on this site to say that! P-Dogs was the other one, but she hasn't been on in like, forever, now?! Too bad, I really miss her!!! She did have a lot of problems, tho, could barely sit to type at all. Poor thing! I do miss her!

    I hope I can get past this fast, my bro wants me to come up there for Xmas, but I think I will just stay home? I'm going to wrap up in a blanket, and watch some Netflix! Till next time!!!

    Ho,Ho, Ho, Happy Holidays!!! Yes indeed, to LIFE! To Friends! To Happiness!!! To EVERYONE HERE, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!


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