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hi i am still around
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dem02 posted:
but i have been busy. my son needs to have an operation,v I have had such a such a large whole in my heart.v i feel like i lost my best friend. o fee;v sov empty
Reply
 
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dfromspencer responded:
Hi Dem,


Glad to see you wrote!!! Your son needs an operation? What type of operation, for what?


And what's this about a hole in your heart? Do you mean that you really have a hole, or that you feel like you lost a friend? You have me, remember? You have all of these wonderful people right here!!! Your Web. friends, remember???


Have you been able to talk with your doctor much? I think you said he was retiring, and you were getting a new one? How did that go, and is the new one, ok??? Do you like him, get along with him alright? So many questions! Sorry Dem, but when you stay away for so long, we have to catch back up, you know???


I really do miss you, when you are gone, especially when you stay gone for a long time! So much to catch up on! Like, I am trying to get a pain pump installed in my lower abdomen? Did you know that? I had to see a psychologist from Cincinatti, I think? Somewhere in Ohio? I had to talk to him over Skype, but it was ok?! Now, I wait for the next step? That is waiting on the V.A., and we all know how slow they are?! LOL!!! Other than that, I have been right here on Web.!!!


Well, I have other posters to address yet, so I must go for now. Please take a few minutes and write? We sure would like to catch up with you!!!


Later my friend!!!


D.
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
Dem, people often feel that it helps to share when others are really listening. I hope that you returning here to share this means that sharing in this community has been helpful.

You might want to consider sharing more. But it's also important that you feel safe in whatever you share. So, it's ok to take it slow. Maybe you want to answer some of Dennis's questions? Or you might just want to share more of some parts of what's going on. Or, maybe you've shared enough for now. Just know that whatever you decide is ok.
 
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dem02 replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
thank you everyone, i am grateful to you all. but is really vveruv hard for me, ; i have been verbally so much in the last uear. as i said i have no trust in life,v i have been here more times than you know. i wanted to write to things on this board and i froze. .people having me hate myself so much.. my therapist is srillv with me. i have been so lucky. to have had him.. Dennis, i hope that th doctors are able to ease your pain and that you v able to vfind your lady love, you are so sweet and deserve to be happy, amyone that cant see you for who you are is a fool
 
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dem02 replied to dem02's response:
thank you everyone, i am grateful to you all. but is really very hard for me, ; i have been verballv abused so much in the last year. as i said i have no trust in life,v i have been here more times than you know. i wanted to write to things on this board and i froze. .people having me hate myself so much.. my therapist is still with me. i have been so lucky. to have had him.. Dennis, i hope that thr doctors are able to ease your pain and that you v able to find your lady love, you are so sweet and deserve to be happy, anyone that cant see you for who you are is a fool
 
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dem02 replied to dem02's response:
Iv have been accused of being such v a horrible person. that is why i freeze up. i need av safe place
 
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dfromspencer replied to dem02's response:
Hi Dem,


YOU are NOT a horrible person!!!!!!! Whoever said that, must be jealous of you? You must have a better life than they have? Maybe you have more things, maybe nicer things, and it makes them jealous? Perhaps your family is better? It could be anything? But you listen to me, Dem; YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON!!! YOU ARE MY/OUR FRIEND HERE, AND YOU CAN BET YOUR SWEET BIPPY, YOU ARE VERY SAFE HERE!!!!


I cannot believe that in our society today, there can be such hate, and jealousy??? Everyone is in this me, me mode? What happened to we, we? We used to be a giving society, now, everyone wants everything, and they want it now!!! I wonder where we went wrong? I think most of the blame is on our politicians?! They have been steadily undermining us, the middle class, the working poor, and even the poor! They have been funneling all the money upwards, and that has caused people to need two workers per every family, just to scrape by?! Now that there are no such thing as a housewife/mother, our children have lost everything that was precious in growing up in a family setting?!! No respect, no sense of community, no nothing but me, me, me?!


I'm sorry, Dem! I digressed, big time! LOL!!! You are always safe here, no one here would ever think to harm you!!! Or even say nasty things about you! Here, you are our friend, and you can say anything you like!!! I would be willing to make a bet, I would bet that you really and truly are, a very nice, and wonderful person?!!!


What? No takers? There, you see? No one here thinks you are anything but wonderful!!! Awesome!!! You are an awesome person, Dem, I can feel it in my soul, my whole being!!! You have to stop letting these small minded people around you, change your way of thinking about yourself, or even the way you feel about yourself!!! YOU are YOUR OWN PERSON!!! NOT someone else's to be told how you should feel/think?!!! YOU are an individual, single entity, not joined at the hip to some nasty person! You can think/feel for yourself, right? NO ONE has the authority to make you feel/think another way, only you!!!


Smile, Dem, its a brand new day!!! The day you take charge of Dem!!! Yippee!!!! My friend is back, right? Right!!!


Now, come on and join in, you are very much wanted here!!!!


Your friend,


Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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rohvannyn replied to dem02's response:
Yes, you are definitely welcome to post here. I know it can be scary though, especially if you have been abused before. Just know that if you need to share, we are here.
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
 
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sluggo45692 replied to rohvannyn's response:
Hi Dem,

I hope your son is getting what he needs. I hope you see that we'll help you get what you need. Talk to us and let us help. Every time us talk to us, your helping yourself. I can promise we won't judge you or "B***h" at you.
We all just want to hear from you. Remember, it may be -10 degrees outside, but you had to wake up to find that out. Take all the blessings you can get.

Good Luck
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to sluggo45692's response:
When people struggle with feeling alone and negatively about themselves, it is often very helpful for them to get support from others — which is what seems to be happening here with everyone who is reaching out to dem. But there may come a time when someone — whether one of the usual people here, or someone new -- says something, even unintentionally, that upsets dem. So, let's keep in mind that we cannot ensure that this will always feel like a safe place for dem, or for anyone else who comes here. We all want to create a safe place to talk, but no matter what our intentions are, we're still human and we do sometimes say things that hurt, whether we mean to or not (especially when trying to communicate on the internet).
Dem, I do hope that you can take in the support offered here. However, as I've said, you might feel hurt or upset by someone's comment. When people feel unsafe, they often find it helpful to learn which people usually feel safe to them and choose to listen to those people. They can think about what supportive things those people have said or even ask them directly for help.
 
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dfromspencer replied to dem02's response:
Hi Dem,


Yes, its me again!!! I know, I know, I am starting to be a pest! I just can't help it! I hate to see my friend feeling down, or scared, or helpless, or anything but happy!!! I think you can see all the good friends you have here? Why not come and join us? We will keep this spot as safe as we possibly can, just for you!!!


Dem, I miss talking to you! Come on, give me a little of your time, please? I can't help but wonder if you are alright? I hope you are alright, we all do?!!!


I hope you see what nice things everyone is saying, and I hope you read what Dr. Becker-Phelps has wrote for you?


Come back, Dem, we all miss you, and want you here with us!!!


Your friend,


Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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dem02 replied to dfromspencer's response:
no one here has ever done anything to me, that is why i it is important vto be varedul when vi am here, I needv to explain. i was part of the other boards that is how i knew Chrissy, i worked really hard when i was there, i supported people and did other things instead of writing about myself. that way i was able to belong, but when they took chrissyv andv the others away, i was vocal and said what ifelt, because that is just who i am, chrissy and caprice help with something i never forgot . there were alot of personal attacks and i was branded a troll, I was even told that i was there just for caprice and that was not true i was there for me. bit it made me that the work i did in the four years never mattered,v you all have given me a real chance and this means so much to me, this why i freeze up when i write. you are all in my heart
 
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dfromspencer replied to dem02's response:
Hi Dem,


Yes, I can remember some of that, myself. And I agree with you, it was a horrible choice on Web.'s part, to take our moderators away!!! They were one more IMPORTANT reason I came here as often as I did!!! But, since they don't see how this has hurt these boards, or maybe they just don't care, we have to make them work?! THAT, is why we need you here with us, Dem!!! We need all the people we can get, to help those that are new, or just trying to find answers? WE need you Dem!!!


You gave out awesome advice before, you still can!!! If any of us ever called you names, I am sure we are all sorry for that?!!! I don't seem to remember this? When was this, do you remember? It has been a long time since the moderators left, can you forgive and forget? That is how we are supposed to act, right? Forgive, and forget, that's us alright, that's being human!!!


You don't have to freeze up, this is just normal! If I make a mistake, someone will call me out, and they expect the same from me?! This is another way of keeping these boards open, and honest, you see? If someone called you a troll, it was probably because they didn't know you? Maybe they didn't recognize you? Anything could have happened, even to you? I guess it did? Again, we are sorry, Dem! Please come back and help out?!!!


WE want you here, Dem!


Your friend,


D.
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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dem02 replied to dfromspencer's response:
thank you Dennid. butv there isv nothing that forgive this board for you guys arev awesome. I have se;gv esteem issues and zero trust inv anything. what upset me morev wasv that i was judged inv av way vthat those by peoplev thatv faced those same struggles,v iv could not let people jerev that it to blame when itv did nothimgv wrong this isv whyv i am sharing this. myv son is going ib this week so i will not be around. but i am keeping you all will be in my heart
The mark of a true friend is one who respects you, is loyal to you and has your back at all times- especially when you aren't anywhere near them.
 
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dfromspencer replied to dem02's response:
Hi Dem,


Don't worry, you take care of your son, first, worry about us later! I hope all goes well for him? I don't know what type of surgery he is having, but we all wish him well?!!! Don't you worry about a thing, the doctors these days, never miss a stitch!


I have your back, so does everyone else on this site!!! Please don't worry about us now, worry about your son! We will all be sending him our extra good vibes!


We will be right here, waiting for your triumphant return to the Web.!!! Ok, so its a bit melodramatic, shoot me?! LOL!!!
Take good care of yourself, and your son!


Later my friend!


D.
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!


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