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    Overcoming First Date Jitters
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
    How to Overcome First-Date Jitters

    It is natural to feel nervous before going on a first date with someone new. Some recent research (though not in the area of dating) might help with this. It has shown that rather than trying to calm yourself down when you have performance anxiety, you would do well to redefine what you are feeling as excitement. This can help you to think about your situation as an opportunity.

    Have you had experience with how this research might apply to dating? For instance: Do you ever try to think about your anxiety about dating as excitement? Or, if you have a partner now, did you do this back in your days of dating? If so, how effective is (or was) it?

    If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my The Art of Relationships blog, click here .

    Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.

    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi Dr. Leslie,

    I used to get so scared to go on new dates, then, not so much. You sort of get into a grove, and only once in a while did I really get scared, or excited by a new prospect?

    When I was young, and trying to date, I always got scared near out of my wits! It was only after many disappointments that I started telling myself it was only excitement, and nothing else?! Never worked! I still get scared with every new opportunity. But, I still do it, and that is because I know the excitement is just around the next corner?! Every one of my first dates is terrifying to me, but I know I will get through it. It is after that, that I tell myself I'm only excited.

    I hope I haven't confused anyone? I feel confused myself?!


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