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blast from the past i want to go home i
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dem03 posted:
it is bad enough that i bounce around like a rubber ball i get this.my son had his appoimtment for therapy . which is on the other side of where i go. i run in to my old therapist the only one that ever dropped me because she could not handle me. i need this like i needed a hole in the head. i fighting hard not to do bad things and now i have three years of on reslovedc issues with this person to keep a lid on
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dfromspencer responded:
Hi Dem,


Good to see you!!! I was hoping you would drop by?! I hope you are feeling well, or as well as one can feel? I guess you could say I am also? I don't hurt as bad as I can, but it still isn't pleasant by any means. Your son has a therapist in the same building as you? Well, that saves on extra trips, right?


You are still getting help, right? You told us about your regular therapist retiring, was it? And lo and behold, you run right into her. Wait, she dropped you? All because she couldn't handle you? I don't get it??? You seem like such a nice person, how could someone not be able to "handle" you? She didn't want to deal with your problems, right? Wow! What problems couldn't she handle???


No, really Dem, I sure would like to know what problems she thought you had, that she could not handle??? I thought therapists were trained to handle every possibility? Every personality? Am I wrong? This is what I always thought, anyways? So tell me, Dem, what couldn't she handle???


Maybe if you tell us, perhaps Dr. Becker-Phelps could give us some help??? I bet she would love to help you, Dem?! Just as much as I want to!!! Maybe more? Naw, I;m your friend, she is a doctor, right? She can help you a LOT more than I can! But, I still want to help as much as I can, just because we are friends!!! What are friends for, if they don't help one another???


Ok, so now that we are helping one another, please tell me how to find someone to love??? THAT, is my biggest problem, right now!!! HELP me, Dem, don't leave me hangin!!!


Can't wait to hear back, I know you can help me!!! Take care, Dem, and make sure the doc's take good care of your son!


Your friend,


Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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dem03 replied to dfromspencer's response:
hi dennis,it is good to see you too.. my old theraapit said that i was needy and she could not handle me.,it,was at one point she did dbt skills wiithout telling me. then said that it did not work how was. the it going to work,.if you were not telling me about it? that upset me more was the fact even thoigh i made progress it was not enough to keep me o her caseload. that hurt so bad. she weighed the negative not the postive. it,took me along time to get back int therapy
 
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dem03 replied to dem03's response:
seeing her adter all this time triggered so many bad memories that it would be a bad idea to bring it up after three yeats ,so again i i pretend that my feelings dont exist., and i hate it,because i hate me
 
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dem03 replied to dem03's response:
therw are three parts. as far as love goes i am the last last person to give advice,but iwill sa this. it is just not your time yet. but with your the heart you have you,will fins your lady live bu only when the tlime is right.
 
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dfromspencer replied to dem03's response:
Hi Dem,


I'm glad to see you again! I hope you are well? I am, I suppose? How is the new counselor doing? Will things work out with this one, or is it too early to tell?


Three years? Its been three years since you've seen this one? Wow, that is a long time! I hope you know you have to let it go? You can't hold onto that hurt and disappointment forever, right? Let it go, you cannot change what happened, you can only worry about today, and tomorrow, to an extent?!


You know, I always thought that counselors were supposed to help in anyway they could? I always thought you were supposed to be needy, otherwise, why would you be seeing a therapist in the first place? You go there to rid yourself of a problem, you NEED their help. How does she say you are needy, and she can't handle you? Well, its a good thing she IS gone, then!!! I just hope this new one can give you the help you seek?! Is it a he or she? You never have said?


Thank you, Dem, for those kind and thoughtful words! With all of my friends here pulling for me, I know I will find someone, eventually?! Thanks Dem!!!


Well, better go see if anyone else could use a little help this morn.? You take good care of yourself, Dem! I will check back later, see if you wrote back, or anything?!


Bye for now,


Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to dem03's response:
Hi, Dem. I obviously don't know what happened with you and your therapist. What I do hear, though, is that it was hurtful to you. And I'm sorry for that.

Maybe it will help to understand that sometimes therapists find that they can't offer enough to truly help someone. It may be because they are not skilled enough in a particular area. Or, it may be because they cannot offer enough care. For instance, no outpatient therapist can be effective enough if someone really requires inpatient help or intensive outpatient therapy (about 9 hours a week).

Again, I don't know what your situation was, but I can tell you that it was not the right fit. This is NOT because of a flaw in you. I know this because a problem in therapy is never because there is something essentially wrong with the patient. It's always because something in the treatment itself is problematic. So, instead of beating yourself up for what's wrong with you or trying to figure out what's wrong with you, you might find it more helpful to think about what you need from a therapist and therapy. Remember, for therapy to be effective, there must be a good fit between you and your therapist.

You might find it helpful to talk more here and with your new therapist about this.
 
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windy12 replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
Hi Everyone, I am sorry that I have not been around. i have had problems logging on, I now longer go by my old user name. i bed to be here , this way they see that i am not out to make problems
 
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dfromspencer replied to windy12's response:
OK, Hi Windy12,


I hope you are feeling better than last time? You were pretty down! Who is this "they" that you want to see that you are not out to make trouble??? Problems, or what have you?


You know how we all feel about you, right? You know how much we care about you, right? WE want you to WANT to be here with us!!! You know? In spite of what "they" say to you?! We want you to feel safe here, because we too, needed a place to be safe?! This is that place!


So, how did you come up with that name, (Windy12)??? You must live around where I live, eh? Here, its windy almost all the time, (Iowa)?!!! Now, its freezing on top of windy!!! Bleck, I hate winters here!!! And yet, I moved back here? Go figure?! LOL!!!


Well, I for one, am really glad you came back, even if for a short while!!! You will always be my friend, no matter who "THEY" are?!!! Remember this, you are your own woman, not theirs!!! Don't let them treat you like a dog, you are a human being!!!


Please come back more often, if you can?! We, all of us here, want you here with us!!! Take care!!!


Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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dfromspencer replied to dfromspencer's response:
Hi again, Dem, oops, Windy12, how are you? I haven't heard from you for so long, I hope there is nothing wrong? I was hoping that, maybe you could try to get on a little more often? I really miss talking to you, you know??? Talking with you, and the others on this board, keep me from getting, or feeling sooo lonely! In other words, I need you, Dem, oops there I go again, I got so used to that name, sorry Windy12!!! I need you to help me, and I had hoped that, maybe you might need to talk to me as well??? It sure would be nice!!! I really like talking to you, you know? There were times, a while back, when you used to be here more often, and you helped others out?! Others like me? You do remember that, don't you? Where is that Dem, dang it, sorry, Windy 12?!!!


I just wish you could come here and talk to me, a lot more often, that's all?! Well, take care, Windy 12! Hey, I got it right, this time!!!! LOL!!! Later, Windy!!!


D.
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!


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