Includes Expert Content
Mindset
avatar
rohvannyn posted:
My two biggest difficulties are anxity/fear, and a negative outlook. This affects everything in my life but most especially my relationships. So I thought it might be appropriate to discuss that a bit, so others could weigh in and maybe we could share ideas.

An unexpected place this is coming up is in working on my artist's website. I have been in art for a long time and I'd like to go pro but I'm having trouble making the jump to thinking of myself as professional. Over and over, when I am writing copy for the site I catch myself using qualifying statements and even undermining my work! It occurred to me that this can be an awesome way to practice using confident wording. Nobody will want to buy my art if I downplay my abilities, and I don't want to brag, so saying things straight and letting the art speak for itself is best. Besides, others aren't going to see all the flaws I see, they may even like them!

My spouse gets on me for saying I'm an amateur. And she's right. Even if I don't really feel like a professional, I will never be one if I don't start acting like one. If I start feeling and acting like one, my work will only get better. And if I make a professional website, then not only will people be more likely to take me seriously, I will also want to do better work to be worthy of that website. So I continue to rework it. It's odd, but it seems the simpler the design, the more professional it looks! I'll continue tweaking, focusing on functionality.

Rewording my statements to be in line with my goals, acting as if they are already accomplished in a way... it seems odd, but how else will I get used to success? It seems to me that success is as frightening at times as failure. Now that's something to think about!
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
Reply
 
avatar
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
Roh: Your work in this area sounds great! I hope you feel proud of yourself for doing it!

Also, you are certainly not alone in sometimes feeling that success is as frightening as (or more frightening than) success. Though it's not exactly the same thing, this reminds me of the sage observation that people are not so much afraid to die as they are afraid to live. (Unfortunately I don't remember who said this.)


To adapt a suggestion I often have for people, you might want to do the following: Write out your statements as they come to you. Next, imagine that you are your best friend and share your understanding and compassion for your lack of confidence in yourself. Practice taking in the positive perspective about you and your work. And then do the best you can to edit your writing to match that more positive perspective. If you have trouble doing any part of this, you might want to share that with people here to get support.

Good luck!
 
avatar
rohvannyn replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
Sounds like a good exercise, and thanks for the feedback! Also sounds like another use for my 3 by 5 index cards.. Reframing is definitely something I need practice in.
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
 
avatar
dfromspencer replied to rohvannyn's response:
Hi Roh,


Anxiety, fear, and a negative outlook, eh??? Have you been copying off my paper??? Kidding!!! I've faced those same problems for years! I used to have such severe anxiety attacks that, I would pass out and wake up on the floor. I lost a few jobs over that. My anxiety was brought on by my fear of accomplishment. I was afraid to succeed, I guess? Not any more! Dr. Leslie had me do something like what she gave you, and I got that, I could do anything I wanted to, without telling myself I will fail! I was telling myself, as a friend would tell me, that I could do anything I set my mind to, and it worked!!! I don't fear accomplishment, now! I no longer have anxiety attacks, thankfully!!! I hated those things, I really thought I was dying, each and every time it happened?!


I know you don't go quite that far, but you know how bad it is?! You really can change that fear, just be your own best friend!!!!! Think of what a B.F.F. would say to you, in each circumstance you find yourself in? Be that B.F.F.!!! I still catch myself doing that, its when I answer myself that gets to me?! LOL!!!


Be well, my friend!!!


Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
avatar
fcl responded:
Perhaps you need outside recognition for your artwork?

I have a cousin who was a closet photographer for many years. He didn't think his work was worth showing. Then someone got him to start sending his work to a photography magazine. He has been photographer of the month twice in the last two years This gave hime enough of a boost to start really putting an effort into selling them. He realized that he really IS talented and accepted the fact. Once the pictures started selling, it reinforced the fact that he was GOOD. If ever there was a morale booster ...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
fcl replied to fcl's response:
PS - my point is that once the ball gets rolling you might feel a whole lot better about all of this...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
dfromspencer replied to fcl's response:
Right on, FCL, I totally agree with that!!!


Roh, maybe its time to come out of your shell, so to speak, eh? Send a couple of your different forms, give them a look at an assortment of your talent, let them decide how good you are?!


Certainly worth a shot! What's the worst that could happen, they turn you down? Big deal, send some to another place, and another if you must, but get your work out there! Get people talking about you, see where it all leads???


Go for it, Roh, you are THAT GOOD!!!!!!


No, I am not "just" saying that for a piece of your art work when you become famous!!! You will tho, won't you??? LOL!!!


D.
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
avatar
rohvannyn replied to fcl's response:
That's a cool story, FCL. I might even take the advice! I'm starting by putting up just as good a website as I can manage and even (gasp) looking for webhosting and shopping for a scanner so I can start by making my images look the best way possible. Meanwhile I'll keep making new images. I'm also trying to narrow my focus so I can set some goals.

I look at other people's work and many times am blown away by how awesome it is. Then I look at other people's work, some of which is being bought, and am amazed at how simplistic/crude/uninspired it is. Rather than be dazzled and stunned by the pros, I'm trying to keep the "lesser" artists in mind, realize that I'm part of a spectrum, and work harder to find my specific market. Some people out there like my stuff, and some might even want to buy it or use it for illustrations, or something like that.

So it is with life. Trying to be more comfortable with my place, and optimize my position, and become more the person I want to be.
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
 
avatar
smiley2009 replied to rohvannyn's response:
Creating a website can be a challenge at first. Train and educate yourself by reading books and taking courses online. You can reach the levels that you want after educating yourself. Continue to learn new techniques in your work, never stop trying something new.
I say this from experience because I'm living it now. I trained myself to design websites and edit photos. I went to college and earned a degree, but learning doesn't stop there. You have to study your craft and build your skills. That's what my business is all about today. I design and make people's vision a reality. You can become the professional you dream of being. Take a deep breath and dive in.
 
avatar
sluggo45692 replied to smiley2009's response:
Hi Roh,

You've got friends and admirers here. We've all seen your work now and we like it. Take our appreciation and admiration, then build on it. It sounds like your spouse is supportive of you, also. That's a love you can bank on.

Remember, don't judge your work by anothers. It can never be the same thing and you can't draw like another person. Your vision and hand are different. Technique can be the same, but the out come will be different.

If you want some outside recognition, take ours and listen to the folks on your website. Talk to a local county/community gallery. We have one near us and they put on a show for a local boy. He made about $2000 for his college fees after cost of materials. He got a lot of local work for the summer as he's home.

Here's my views for you. You have good technique, your line are good and you allow the colors speak for you. I see some things you need a little more practice with, but overall you have excellent taste and ideas. Water colors are one of the most difficult techniques and you are really really good at it.
I hope you take this and run with it.

Good Luck and good job
 
avatar
rohvannyn replied to sluggo45692's response:
Thanks, so much, for the support. It means a lot. Last night I registered my own domain, rohvannynshaw.com! I plan to get at least a basic version of my professional site up this weekend. My other one, the http://www.desertquest.webs.com , will do in the meantime, and I've weeded through the art on it so the lesser stuff is gone. I only want to show the best face to the world. It's kind of exciting to get an email address with my own domain on it!

Sometimes it's hard to say "I can be a professional someday. I can start acting like it now. I deserve success and I can work hard for it, and enjoy it when it comes." So I'm working on it. And this weekend I have a goal of doing at least one more detailed art piece of some kind to put up on the site.

Thanks, all, for giving me someone to tell about it. That's important too!
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
 
avatar
bigred53 replied to rohvannyn's response:
Roh, you ARE a professional!!!

BTW there is a very good article on the WebMd home page about body image and I believe some of the suggestions would work for your 'professional' image.

You go girl!! When I win the lotto I'm going to buy you out!! I loved the pictures of the cardinal and oriel. I haven't seen any in 'real' life for such a long time. I always saw them when I was visiting my relatives in Arizona (White Mountain area). Brought back some wonderful memories. I feel that art should do that sometimes.

Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful part of yourself with us.

Michelle
 
avatar
rohvannyn replied to bigred53's response:
Hey, thanks for the suggestion! I'll be sure to check that out.
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
 
avatar
bigred53 replied to rohvannyn's response:
Roh, we want you to be happy as well as successful!!!

Michelle
 
avatar
dfromspencer replied to rohvannyn's response:
Hi Roh,


That is fantastic news!!! Your own domain, how exciting!!! You must have your head held high about now, eh? As you should!!! Oh, and yes, you ARE a PROFESSIONAL, now!!!


I can't believe it, Michelle loved the birds too? They are just so awesome!!! Thank you, Roh, thank you for sharing your wonderful/amazing artworks with us!!!


As Michelle says, YOU GO GIRL!!!


Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!