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    Social Media: Good or Bad for Your Well-Being?
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
    Facebook and other forms of social media can be fun and exciting to use. Often, people enjoy keeping up with new and old friends. However, it can also paradoxically leave people feeling particularly alone as they watch others having fun and engaging in a full life. Despite ongoing research that is trying to clarify when and in what contexts social media is helpful and hurtful, these are open questions.

    What has your experience been with social media? Does it make you happier or cause more distress? Or, in what ways does it do both?

    If you would like to read more in detail about this topic in my The Art of Relationships blog, click here.

    Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.
    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi Dr. Becker-Phelps,

    Hmmn, i have never given that much thought? After reading the blog, then re-reading it, i took a moment or two to think on it?! Wow, it sure makes you think, i will say that?!

    Do i feel more emotionally supported? I have to say OH YES!!! Maybe not on other sites, but on this one, you can actually "feel" the emotional support from the others here?! So, to answer the question, i have to say yes!

    Does it inspire me to take on other meaningful activities? Hmmm, once again, i have to say yes. It was while i was first on this site, i had (helped) some others by telling them to exercise while i was not. So, i felt bad and started my own healthy living, and it even inspired me to quit smoking!!! So, to answer the question, again yes!

    does it enhance my life in other ways? Definitely
    dfromspencer replied to dfromspencer's response:
    OOPS!!! My rat decided he wanted to help, and jumped on my desk, hitting my mouse, and hitting the send button, too? Wow, he is a talented little guy, isn't he?

    O.k., to get back to it, Definitely, just the amount of learning i have received from being right here, is amazing!!! It has helped me even with vocabulary and so many other things, too numerous to type it all. So, to answer the question, yes, most definitely!

    Does it make me feel sad, lonely, or left out? Not exactly. Since i have learned to grieve properly, and get rid of the past, while doing so i have met many friends here! I may not be in a relationship with anyone, but some have gained from my past, my knowledge of many relationships, good and bad, so, i have been too busy to even notice if i was sad? No, i am not sad. Lonely? Well, yes! But does that mean i have to be alone? No! I do not feel alone while i have friends right here, i care about each and every one of them! Nope, i am not alone! Do i feel left out? How could I feel that way? I have friends here, and even in the course of helping others, i never feel that way, not even here by myself, i have friends, i go camping with others, fishing, no, i do not feel left out?!!!

    Does it make me envious? Not at all!!! What would i have to be envious of? Being in an relationship? Naw, i know when the time is right, i will have one, just not at the moment is all?! So, no!

    Does it tend to make me unhappy in other ways? No, not that i can think of?!!! So, no!

    Does it interfere with face to face time with others? Not at all. I still have my face to face time whenever i want it?! So, no!

    Does it take me away from other meaningful activities? Sometimes, but i will never let it interfere with anything important! So, again, no!

    Thank you so much for this blog, Dr. Leslie, it is an amazing chance to see inside. To look in on ourselves in our daily doings. Wow, this one really makes me think, makes me ask more questions on the same lines. Does Social Media interfere with our daily lives? Yes, i guess it really could, if that was all you could do? Fortunately, i can still get around, but what if? What would you turn to if you couldn't get around? T.V. or the internet, soon though, t.v. will be the internet?! How will we take that? How much can someone stand, if Social Media was all there was?

    Hey Dr. Leslie, that last question could make for a good scenario, for possible future questions? I hope that never happens, but who knows? One day, you may want to take in an opera, all you have to do is sit down, and you would see that opera right in your living room. Could happen, with all the tech advances we have had in just one year, it could be very soon, and that opera would look live in the living room?! Hmmm, now that, is something to think about!!! LOL!!!

    Thanks again Dr. Leslie, another fine topic for the brain!!! Keep em coming!

    rohvannyn responded:
    It depends on what social media we are talking about. I refuse to use Facebook and anything like that because of the privacy invasion, the harm to my computer, and the interpersonal backbiting and superficiality. That doesn't enhance my life at all! I tried it and quit. My mom uses Facebook still and it really doesn't do her many favors either, but it is in part what you put into it.

    But that isn't the only kind of social media. Technically, this is social media too. THIS is supportive, and wonderful, and helpful to my life. So are a few of the different forums I go on. But it depends HUGELY on what the focus is, who is involved, and how well the boards are monitored... either by mods or by peers.

    Targeted communities based around mutual respect are good, in general. So much depends on who else is there.

    'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
    dem16 replied to rohvannyn's response:
    this is something,that i have wanted to answer all day.fb ,i have had my share on there but i stood up with what was going on and no one bothers me anymore.,i just play games.. you see in front of the computer no one wants know me, but if i degrade myself and do things that turn men on,then i am wanted. i was told that i had the hotest blog at one time.,but that wasnot me they wanted. i do what i do just to get through my miserable life
    fcl responded:
    I very much appreciate Facebook. It has brought me much closer to my family in terms of distance I have found friends from long ago and that have again become friends. I have connected with some of my many cousins, some of whom I hadn't seen since we were children (when grandparents die, whole families lose touch ...). So I have very positive feelings for Facebook. On the other hand, I have fewer than 30 friends, I know them all well, and we are all adults so maybe that makes a difference?
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    rohvannyn replied to fcl's response:
    I think that does make a difference, FCL- who is involved, why you use social media, and how. Even Facebook can be valuable if used right. If it didn't steal my information and have viruses, I might use it, but with a very restricted circle of friends.

    'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ
    fcl replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Plus, as I live at the other end of the continent from my family, it means that I can keep up with all the family news (when my SIL's daughter had her baby recently, I had the gift sent off that very day!), post the latest photos of my children (imagine the fuss of sending emails to everyone), etc. It really is a useful tool for me.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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