I sent this letter to an ex GF recently and I wanted to get it off my chest. I had posted here once before about this same woman. Synopsis: I am 60 and she is 57. We met online, hit it off in public, dated, and had an intimate relationship. After helping with a move, a divorce, her moms death and the storm SANDY. We split at her request because she couldn't say 'I love you'. We got back together a few months later at my request and I made her feel very happy, her therapist even wanted to meet me. We split when her ex called her and convinced her to come back.
It was in February of this year that we got back together on a lark due to Words With Friends. She had trouble with her meds and it was affecting her personality. The last time I was with her she literally 'blew up' and disparaged me, my family and my 93 year old mom (she didn't know why she didn't like her she told me). She told me "Don't throw a relationship away" as I walked out the door. Weeks later she texted because she needed to hear some encouraging words. She did this a few times and just to talk because she liked talking to me; she even remarked that she screwed up, that she never felt so much compassion and love in her entire life, and she said that I was an angel but didn't want to do 'us' again. I thought that she was having a change of heart until she called and said she was dating and whom she dated and when not too long after crying on the phone to me about work. Ergo this letter to her on July 4th, 2014!
Finally, an ending to this saga! Thank you for giving me this opportunity and on July 4th too, Independence Day!
You are dating again? Bully, bully for you!!! You still wanted to talk to me and play WWF too? Sorry, but an emphatic NO!!! That was so inconsiderate and rude on your part, and disconcerting and uncomfortable for me. Please read a book on dating etiquette as it's ageless; you'd be surprised at what you could learn to avoid hurting anyone, or getting hurt yourself. I did!
If I had I known about your dating plans sooner I would've stepped aside even earlier. To think that you were still calling me and asking for advice and counsel even after our break up and I was worried about how you were coping due to your dad's condition; your job; and everything else happening in your life and there you are dating other guys—thank you for making a fool of me and for displaying your true colors!
C------, calling me (an ex) to talk and then boasting that you're dating again, who and when you dated and the site you used is but one of the many classless, blatantly insensitive and unkindest things that you've done or said to me since I've known you! It was a another 'slap in the face' from you and it shows just how much disdain and disregard you've always had for me and for my feelings; it's also indicative of the type of person that you are — amoral (maybe even narcissistic?). Stop looking down your nose at people! Over the last 1.75 years that I've known you I've downplayed, excused, or ignored the fact that you've taken advantage of me, denigrated and insulted me, and mistreated me, but now as I reflect back on ALL of it I am calling you out; when I connect all of the dots it is so painfully obvious that you indeed have emotional issues. If this is how you treat someone that you admit has shown you compassion and love, just how do you treat someone who can't? Don't treat anyone else as bad as you treated me because it's not nice, and they just might not be as understanding as I was!
For the record: YOU'VE always been the person who's thrown the relationship away…you did it three times to me! Mark my words, it will happen again because it is in your nature. Remember what I said to you about Karma when you called from St. Agnes? There are no exceptions to that, what goes around comes around. I just find it really odd how things just seemed to happen not too long after you ended the relationships, especially this time after you disparaged members of my family including my mother.
This quote from Sir Winston Churchill describes you rather succinctly, "a puzzle inside a riddle wrapped in an enigma".
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